Chores - Lancaster,CA

How about a chore chart? I saw some really cute ones in the school section at Wal-Mart and Target. Make it an event, sit down with her and make little things like making her bed a chore. Keeping her dirty clothes in the hamper or hanging up her clean clothes and not leaving them on the floor.

But, don't forget the rewards! Show her that if you get things done and keep up good work habits, in the end there is something good that comes of it. Like as an adult you get paid for good hard work, so as a kid you get paid for maintaining good hard work. That's how my Mom taught my sister and I about money and saving.

Just keep in mind she might not get it right away, if she's already having problems she may need guidance and a gentle reminder to keep her chore chart up. But, even with ADD this could be a great way to help her learn to organize herself and overcome those issues and keep them in check. Many kids who struggle with ADD are visual learners (my son's Dad is) and need things layed out for them in lists or pictures.

Good Luck.

If I had a child asking to do chores I'd be doing back flips! My kids are now 20 and 16 and have been doing chores since early childhood. The key is getting them to continue doing the chores. You may want to think about a chart that includes personal responsibilities as well as chores. For my kids I made them do 7 chores a week. One for each day. They could do several at a time and not have to do anything on some days. I had some chores that were easy and some that were more challenging. Empting the dishwasher and folding laundry were easy, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, watering the lawn where harder. They had to do a certain number of hard ones per week and they could choose what day to do them. After a while money wasn't enough incentive to make them continue doing the chores. So I had to make TV, video games, and playing with friends allowable after chores were caught up. It took quite a bit of effort on my part and consistency is essential. While I always paid them for their chores, I never over paid them. I felt kids that get money to easily are not learning a good work vs. spending ethic. I did all this so my children could feel the independence and accomplishment of working for what they want. I think it’s been good for them. But be prepared, it’s a whole lot easier to do these chores yourself than make your child do them. It’s tempting to be critical, but monitor your comments judiciously. Make sure your expectations are realistic. Having your child do chores with or along side of you is a good way to start. Good Luck.

Is it too late to give my advice? I hope not.

I have been teaching family financial literacy for over 10 years and I will tell you that one thing that we have really noticed that if you tie money to chores you are setting yourself up for a fight.

Imagine when they are 14 and now have their own job...they are making their own money, they don't need yours anymore, then what? You have trained them to get paid for helping around the house, they now don't need your money therefore they DO NOT HAVE to help around the house.

If you tie money to chores, they will associate doing work in the house with getting paid, what happens when they get their own place and no one is there to pay them to clean their house? What about when they get married? No one is going to pay them to clean up after themselves. Think about what you are training them.

Here is what we do in our house.
My 13 year old and my 9 year old have certain “responsibilities”.

The 9 year old has the responsibility of making sure our floors are safe for everyone who enters our home. That means if there are foods or spills she cleans it up. So no matter who comes into our home, a baby, a dog or their 87 year old grandmother, they are safe because there is no debris, spills or garbage on the floor that they could eat, slip on or trip over.

The 12 year old is responsible for the health of our family and guests. This means her responsibility is to ensure that our bathrooms are wiped down, free of germs. She is also responsible for the clean air in our home. Which means, she waters the plants and the takes out the garbage.

We alternate dishes as a family, no one leave the kitchen until meals are totally cleaned up. We equally share and no one is left alone to “do their chores”. As a family WE are responsible for the cleanliness of our home.

Of course they are responsible for their rooms. TIP: I cleaned their room once, took pictures, put the pics in their dresser drawers and when their room is not up to my standards, I go into their drawer hand them the picture and voila, nothing needs to be said. I did this for all over the house to this way they know my expectations of cleanliness and there is never an argument.

Now what to pay your kids. It is totally up to you. But if you give them money and take it away if they don’t “perform”, YIKES! What would happen at work if your boss gave you money then took it away for poor performance, you would not stick around very long would you? Don’t train your kids to do something that is unrealistic.

There are many schools of thought around how much: do you pay them their age? Their age plus 10%? Twice their age? $20 a week? It is all very confusing.

In my house, my kids get their age as a “base salary”. This is payment for being my kids. If they show and everyday and are my kids, they make a “base salary”. It is not tied to chores, it is simply there because I want to teach them money management. They have a money management system that they must follow, but safe to say out of $13 a week that my oldest gets she has “necessity/play” money of about $8. She must give 10% to a charity of her choice (she has chosen to sponsor a young girl in Sri Lanka through World Vision), 10% goes to an education fund, 20% to specific saving accounts. That is her base.

Now, as a 13 year old she “needs” different things. EX: she “needed” an iPod. So she earned it. She did over and above her responsibilities, we negotiated a deal and she carried it through. Just like getting a bonus at work for extra work accomplished, my daughter received her bonus and earned her iPod.

Please, please, please, please, DO NOT tie money to chores. Our country is in the financial mess we are in because people think it is their “right” to be paid for doing what they are responsible for. Kids today need to be taught that they get what they give and that they have basic responsibilities.

Please teach your children a successful system that will carry them into adulthood.

PS: my daughters wrote an ebook on how kids can make money. http://www.heyyougetreal.com/kidsdomakecents.htm Just in case you want to see how successful our system is.

B.
Family Wellness Coach

Maybe help her by having the chore chart... and designate what "time" she should try and do it. Then, it will be more "focused" and not just some chore just sitting there and she not knowing when she is supposed to do it.

Also, try maybe and give her a plant. Have her take care of it... this may give her a sense of purpose that you were talking about. Just a plant that is easy to care for.

Again, just a couple of chores...nothing overwhelming. But since she is asking for 'chores' than that is good. It shows she is wanting to try it. For me, I tell my kids "just try your best...." versus my expecting them to be 'perfect' about it... then they feel they are accomplishing something too, and feel proud of themselves.

All the best,
Susan

Hi M N since your daughter is already struggling with her present responsibilities, I would not add anything else at this time. When our daughter was 8 she was resposible for her room her bed, and putting her laundry basket in the garage on her laundry day. My husband made calenders for each one of our 3 kids, with rheir respossibilities on it.

Each week our kids started out with 5.00 each time they didn't do what they we supoosed to do they lost .25 at the end of the week we added up the minus .25 we deducted it from thir 5.00 and gave them the balance, they caught on very quick how it all worked, we got to the point wher we didn't have to remind them much about anything. J. L.