I recently created a "chore board" for my daughter, who is 4. I did it because I felt like I was always nagging her to do things and I wanted to create more positive interactions around my expectations of her. I set it up for a week at a time. If she gets all the things marked she gets to pick a surprise out of the surprise bag. So far, in the month that it's been around, she has only gotten to pick a surprise one time. She generally falls down on the "listen" part of the job board! Most of the time I use a love-and-logic-type warning--"don't you want to be able to check of that you listened so you get a surprise?"--and it works but sometimes she just will not do what she is supposed to no matter what.
So, my questions are: am I using this tool as effectively as I can? do most people do a daily board, or a weekly board? Should I give her room for error--ie, if she misses one thing on one day but gets all the rest, she still can get a surprise--or should I be this strict? I want to set her up for success but I want it to be a learning experience for her, too.
Thank you!
Thank you all! I was thinking that it was a bit much and I will definitely scale it back and give her more wiggle room.
I think weekly is too long for a 4yr old to comprehend - try daily then move it up after she gets a prize consistantly. Then two days - three days up to a week. I would guess she will be up to a week by 5 or 6 yrs old easily. Adjust for her age and you will find success.
If you want ideas for something perhaps a bit more age appropriate, if thats a potential issue?? Pinterest has alot of very great ideas, easy to make and simple for kids of all ages. My niece found a great one for her kids age 2 1/2, 8 and 11 that can work for all 3 of them and hangs in the mudroom (their central hub room).
Best of luck!
I like this site, but it might be something you have to adjust for your child's age.
It's an excellent tool for teaching your child responsibility AND the value of a dollar.
We use a weekly board for our daughter (2 1/2) and son (4) that was modeled after the one that is in his pre-school class. They share some chores on each chart (listen, share and play nice, clean up toys, make bed, throw trash, pick up laundry), and then some different (son: bring up recycling and trash bins to the house after collection, sweep kitchen - daughter: let mommy brush her hair, put away bows and hair clips). They get a smiley face at the end of each day for each item that is done 80% of the time. That way, if they have one slip up for the day, it doesn't mean that they never get the smiley face. The smiley faces are the rewards. We don't use a goody bag or anything, in part because we want to stay away from rewards for stuff that they should be doing normally (that will come later with pay chores), in part because we choose family time that's special or different as the reward instead. For example, if they both have a week with all smileys, we may take them for frozen yogurt, a favorite restaurant, or a new park for a treat. Both, but especially my son, are devastated if they don't get smileys, so they both work towards it.
Good luck! :)
We have a chore board for my 4.5 year old and it works great. In our house once she gets all her magnets for the day we put a sticker on the calendar. Once she gets 20 stickers I pick her up from daycare and we go do something special the two of us. She likes to go to the library and play on the computers without her brother. We go to Starbucks and get her favorite pumpkin scone, etc.
Anyways I think the system works really great for me. My suggestion would be to break it down a bit more. I tend to change the magnets out for things that drive me the most crazy and I find that eventually they become a habit so then we move onto something else.
For example I want her to sit nicely at dinner and say the prayer nicely. That is actually two magnets. One for saying prayer nicely and one for sitting facing forward either on her knees or bum. Now the prayer one we are geting into really good habit with so I am going to change it to putting her clothes in the laundry basket when she takes them off. I've noticed if I take a magnet away the habit still continues.
What is going during the times you are frustrated with the lack of listening. I think not listening all day might be too much. Can you break it down a bit more? For example, listening and not throwing a fit before school would be one. Second, after school time, what are your expectations at that time of day?
Or maybe pick the part of the day you are most frustrated with and work on that and once it becomes habit move onto a another time.
I have even combined them. We really struggled with her to go potty in the morning and before bed. So that was two magnets along with two magnets for getting dressed in the am and getting dressed in the pm. That become a non issue so now they are combined and getting dressed and going potty go hand in hand.
We used Accountable Kids board/card system. It has cards that you cut to different lengths for morning, afternoon, and evening chores. In the beginning I included simple things like getting dressed or brushing teeth as part of his chores. For every day he completes his chores, he earns a ticket. Tickets can traded in at the end of the week for various rewards (mostly activity based). He can also earn a bonus buck card for doing extra helpful things besides his normal chores. The bonus bucks can be traded for $$ at the end of the week. I like this system because I will only remind but not nag. The decision to complete things and earn the rewards is up to him. I find if I nag he is less likely to do something (I was the same way as a kid).
We have a white board calendar that we hang in our kitchen. It has the kids activities outside of school. PE days, and media days. I also have each kid color coded....along with the chores they have. So all they have to do is look and see what chore is their's.
I don't do rewards for it, they get enough perks in life. But I know plenty of people do and it works for them :).
I'd give her a little bit of wiggle room. No one is perfect, especially not at 4. And for her, I'd do it daily. Find some small prize she can get each day, and then a bigger one for the week. Then I'd wean her off it the prizes as she gets older.
Keep it age appropriate.
Meaning, she is 4.
They don't even "read" yet fully nor have complete impulse-control or deductive reasoning or full time management capability.
Per my son who is now 5. When he was 4, I gave him chores which I knew were attainable for him at that age and liked to do. So that he had a sense of accomplishment and excitement from finishing it. ie: he liked to wipe the tables and organize our shoes neatly and dust. So he did those things and that is what I let him do.
Now he is 5 and he also likes to help water the plants, and he puts his dirty clothes in the hamper and neatens up his clothes in his drawers etc. and puts away his toys in the appropriate baskets, and puts his dishes in the sink and even likes to wash them, and feeds our rabbit. But, I let him do it as he is able. Meaning, I don't expect him to do it like me. But he does it, the best that HE can do it. And I praise him.
I don't have chore boards for my kids, but via "routine" they know what to do.
And I don't reward them for it. Because it is just stuff that as a "family" we all "help" each other and for our home.
I am not rigid about it.
But daily, they do these things.
Per "listening", I don't put those things on a "chore" list.
To me that is not a "chore." But a behavior per age development or ability.
Since she is only four, the more positive the better. And the more positive you are, the more she'll want to please you. Don't exactly let her get away with anything, just help if it needed. As she gets older, expect more.
Does she do anything on this chore board? Like get stickers or get to mark on it? Does it have pictures? The more interactive it will be, the better.
I created one with pictures so they can just look at it and know what to do. I broke it down, Morning chores on top, Evening chores on the bottom and the As needed chores in the middle. I have it in a sleeve so when they are done they use a dry erase marker to mark it. And at the begining of the day we start all over.
Also... We have jars with different size glass beads, like the one's you put in vases. They get 6 big ones at the begining of the week. If they have a bad attitude, don't do their chore to the best of their ability or get in trouble in any way, one gets taken away.
For each chore that they do, they get a small bead.
At the end of the week, the big beads are worth a quarter each and the small beads are a dime each. I also have a treasure bucket if they have all 6 big beads.
My son is 8 and my daughter just turned 5. It wasn't until my son was almost 7 that he was really to the point of being able to completely pick up his room with out some interaction from me.
One thing that I have noticed that helped him and has helped my daughter. I will set a timer, if the room is not clean, but they have been working on it, I will find and put all they toys ect that is out of place in the middle of the floor and will set the timer again.
As far as the LISTEN part, i'm not sure I understand what that is.
Chore Charts can be great until the child has developed the habits and no longer needs to be reminded.
