Children Will Only Be 13 Months Apart

Updated on February 27, 2007
C.B. asks from Maple Shade, NJ
6 answers

Hello Ladies. I was curious if there are any moms out there who have had children very close together. My husband and I had our first child Evan May 27, 2006. Then in November 30 we found out we were pregnant again. I have had mixed feelings about this pregnancy because we really didn't want to have another child until Evan was atleast 1 1/2. This pregnancy hasn't been going "normal". I bled for the first 14 weeks of the pregnancy, (if i never took the test i wouldn't have known I was pregnant). So I realize this baby is a blessing but I still am not as happy to be pregnant as I was with Evan. I feel like a horrible person. Any one else go through this?

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W.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

It's normal to have these feelings. Don't be hard on yourself. I can't imagine the second pregnancy being the same as the first. The first time you are pregnant everything is new and exciting. I had the same feelings with my second pregnancy. it was not planned, in fact we had just decided that we were done and our daughter was the only child we needed ( I did want another, but financially it would put a burden on us). When I found out I was pregnant I was already three months pregnant. I didn't even want to tell my husband. I was not thrilled with the idea and too felt like a bad mommy. How could I not be happy?
My daughter will be three in April and my little man is 7 months, they are a little over two years apart, and now I wish we had them a little closer. Amanda was very used to being the only child. Not that she isn't a loving big sister, she is the one who can make him laugh the loudest and she loves to entertain, but the sharing thing is a little hard. So, it might be a blessing in disguise that you are having them close together!! Godd luck and don't worry, you have the right to be feeling the way you are!!!!
One more thing. I didn't stop having those feelings after the baby was born either. My last month I was in and out of the hospital and he was delivered three weeks early. Don't get me wrong, I loved my son, but the whole thing was too emotional. The first time I spent the night at the hospital they almost had to restrain me, after all, who was going to kiss my little girl goodnight (as I sit here crying remembering that day). And when I got home from the hospital with this new baby, I was overwhelmed. It took a good three to four months to get back into a grove. So don't beat yourself up even after the baby is born, it takes time. I wouldn't change anything now. he is my lovey and has the best smile ever. I love when I open his door in the morning and he gives me that bigh huge smile of his and I think every time, i would do it over angain.

Good luck, and if it you think it would help, talk to your dr. And congratulations!!!!!

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G.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Helllo and conrats. I am a mother of 4 children from age range11,8,4,3, the last to of my chilren are only 11 moths a part. I was not ready but i am so glad i had them to close because there are the best of friends.There are girl and boy but that does not stop anything.You will be glad that you had the children close when they are the age of children.they will have each other.well if you have other question you can e mail me at ____@____.com

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J.

answers from Philadelphia on

my children are 17 months apart i was in shock. i cried alot i was not ready for another pregnancy let alone another baby. it is now almost 5 years later i cannot imagine not having my baby. some perks to having children close is: they have the same friends,they can be in the same cass for dance and the same team for sports,they can watch the same shows,go to bed at the same time. it is reaaly nice hard but worth it

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi C.,

My last 2 kids are 17 months apart, not quite as close as what your kids will be, but it was still very unexpected for us to have the third child so soon. I did have concerns like you do b/c of having them so close, like would I be able to handle it along with an older child? Am I cutting out my daughter's time with us? Our first daughter had almost 2 1/2 years alone with us before our second was born, was I cheating our second daughter of that time? Oh boy, I went through it all.
But in the end, I would never change it. I love all of my children equally and I wouldn't know what it would be like to not have my son. He really is a blessing to our family and he keeps us on our toes and always laughing!
If you need anymore help, or just to talk, please email me
____@____.com -- Jen
Another mom in Willow Grove, PA!

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K.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

HI C.,

I HAD MY FIRST TWO CHILDREN CLOSE TOGETHER, MY DAUGHTER WAS 6MOS OLD WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY 2ND,IT WAS GREAT BECAUSE THEY WERE NEVER LONELY AND IT WAS VERY EASY TAKING CARE OF THEM TOGETHER, WHEN I HAD MY 3RD CHILD 4YRS FROM THE 2ND, I FELT LIKE I WAS STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN,THEN I HAD TWINS 5YRS LATER, I WAS 28 WHEN THEY WERE BORN, AS I LOOK BACK I GLAD I HAD THEM YOUNG, NOW THEY ARE 29,28,24,19,19 AND NOW AT 46 I'M ENJOYING 8 GRANDCHILDREN AND TWO MORE ON THE WAY, I I HAD IT TO ALL OVER AGAIN THE LAST THREE WOULD BE CLOSER TOGETHER, BECAUSE BETWEEN THE FIRST AND LAST 2 THERE IS A 10YRS DIFFERENCE, I WISH U THE BEST LUCK AND RELAX AND ENJOY.
K.

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T.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

Don't be so hard on yourself. This wasn't planned and you have a right to be concerned. You should go see your doctor though and tell him about your feelings. It may be the hormones since you were barely over being pregnant before getting pregnant again. My sister had two children very close together and although they (boys) argue alot because they shared a room, they also always have someone to play with and someone to talk to when they need it. I think once your child comes you will feel differently. Talk to your doctor, you may have PPD, just to be safe.

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