Children on Trip with Grandmother

I left my girls when they were 8 months and 2 years old to go on a business trip with my then dh. My mom raised 6 kids and is an attentive grandmother, so I had no worries leaving my girls with her.

My daughter was 3 weeks old the first time she spent the night with my mother. I figured the woman successfully raised two of her own so she could get mine through the night. She also stayed with her every other weekend so I could work and have some "me" time from the time she was 2 until she was 12. The only reason that stopped was because my mother retired and moved out of state. The summer she was 13, she spent all but 2 weeks of it with my brother traveling the east coast from NH to FL visiting with family and friends. She is super close to both my mom and brother, and I fully believe it's because she has spent so much quality time with them without my being present.

IMO, unless you have concerns of an abusive nature, I would let her help you out. You don't say how long until you have your baby, but maybe you can start with a "practice" overnight here and there between now and the time the baby comes to get them used to being away.

My honest opinion, I would let her. I think it's great for your MIL to have a strong bond with her grandchildren. Now, I did live with my parents when I had my first child, however, I know my children were always safe in her care. My MIL leaves out of state, and even when we did live closer she never offered. Plus she's always worked and worked, mainly 3rd shift. I remember staying at my grandparents house when I was young and I did favor my grandma over the other when I was really young. We use to play and have lots of fun at her house. My other grandma, God rest her soul, was very strict and we didn't play as much or make messes. My parents never had a problem with us going there... (We liked going to my dad's parents house over my mom's mom).

Let your children have great memories with their grandparents, obviously she wants to do this and would take good care of them, plus you would have time with your new born...

Because of medical problems soon after birth, my son was only about 2 weeks old when he first stayed with MIL. Honestly, the woman raised my husband, and he turned out fine, so there is no reason I don't trust her with my son. When he was not quite two he spent two weeks (not consecutive) with family members in PA (about 8 hours away). He had SO much fun and it was such a great break for us.

My belief has been, and always will be, that unless there is a valid reason for the grandparents to not keep the kids (they are extremely old, alcoholics, etc.) that you are not allowing your kids the full benefit of their grandparents! Sleepovers are a great way for them to bond, and my son LOVES being with them at their house because of it!

Both of my kids were about 2.5 before they did their first overnight away. It's definitely something that should be tried out first. Dropped off at dinner/picked up for lunch. I would not just ship them off for several days. Try getting some "date nights" out of the experiment and see how your kids manage. It can be wonderful to take a few days of quiet after a new baby (we are preparing for the same) - and also great for the kids since you will not exactly be "on" for awhile. But, don't hesitate to be bossy. I have been over the top obnoxious about my expectations and over emphasized things like proper buckling in the car and my expectations for supervision, sugar intake, dinner time, etc... the simple fact is- that parenting has changed a lot and well meaning grandma's are not necessarily as informed as we get to be, so I don't assume - that just b/c they raised their kids - they will do fine with mine.
(My MIL who would give my kids so much attention and never forget things like putting the gate up in front of the stairs - once left my 4 y.o. in a HUGE public library to take my 1 y.o. out to the car in a distant parking spot and retrieve the diaper bag she forgot. When I expressed my distress - she couldn't believe I was concerned about my child wandering or worse yet a predator "in the library?!?" - I NEVER bit my tongue on any issue or concern again or chalked something up to "that's a grandma thing".) Ultimately - You need to feel your children our safe.

My son was 3 the first time he went on a trip with grandma and grandpa. It was way up in the NM mountains in the middle of no where. I was on edge till he came home, but he had a great time and they took great care of him!

When I was a young mom like you I probably would have felt the same as you. Now that my kids are older, I realize that time away from me and with others who love them is essential. She obviously does a good job raising kids - you fell in love with one of them! My grandparents lived 4 hours away from us and I used to go stay with them for several days every summer as a child. Those are some of my most cherished memories. Let your MIL take them. They will be happy, grandma will be happy, and you can have quiet, uninterrupted time with your newborn.

My son stayed overnight with grandparents by 6 months. I believe that a healthy relationship with grandparents is important and priceless on so many levels.

I received a promotion when my twins were 2yrs & 8 months. I had to go to our company's corporate office for 2 weeks. My parents live in another state, and at that time had only spent time with them for a week at my house 3x (their birthday each year-including when they were born). I had no other choice if I wanted the promotion.

My girls, now 9 years old are very close to my parents. They also go up and stay with them 2-3 weeks every summer which we started doing when they were 5. The first year was only a week and this year it will be nearly 4.

I think there are a lot of factors to this question that you have to personally address.

1. Will she be alone with 2 small children or will someone else be there to help?

2. Is she of an age to keep up with your kids?

3. Is this cabin near water?

I think letting her watch them for a few days is fine, but it would be better if it were at her home not a trip away at this age. You are already going to be hormonal and stressing about your new baby without the need to be worrying about your two other babies.

I would probably say no to the timing and age, but I am known to be overly protective. :-P

My oldest was about 4 months old when she spent her first night away from us. I think my youngest was closer to a year.

It's always hard when it's their first time away from you. It's hard on them and you. In the end, at least in my experience, it's worth it. I don't leave my kids overnight very often, maybe once every few months, but it's SO nice when I do :) Of course I want to go get them as soon as I wake up!

As far as being uncomfortable...examine the reasons. I know my big thing with leaving my kids is that people don't do things like I do. They don't feed them at the same time, or eve the same kinds of foods we eat, the kids are up way past their bedtimes, etc. But, it's ok. :) They'll survive one night or even a weekend of being off schedule.

If the reasons are more serious, like she'll endanger their well-being, then politely refuse.

I think it depends on how much you trust your MIL in general, and how well you think she handles the kids.

I wouldn't leave my son with my in-laws; they just don't have a lot of experience (really, not any) with small children and they are both hard of hearing and don't understand most of what their 2.5yo grandson says.

Now, my parents, well, my mom worked in early childhood education & loves kids, and while she's not very quick on her feet anymore, she is great with kids of all ages.

1st, you're lucky to have a mother/mother-in-law who wants to even be alone with your kids or spend time alone with your kids...thank God she wants to establish her own personal bond with them.

BUT 2nd, I think that's a trip too far away from Mommy and Daddy at 2 and 4 since they've never been away overnight w/ this grandparent in particular, and I agree w/ the other post that said you'll be hormonal and stressed as it is beause of the new baby, you don't need another worry. A cabin is not a good start. Maybe just to her house or a couple of hours away at a play place/lunch/park, etc.

Good luck!

I say trust your mommy-gut. It might be nice to have them out of the house for a few days with a new baby....or it might stress you out even MORE to have them away.

My girls were almost 2 and 3.5 when I left them overnight (2 nights) with someone other than my husband (when I was in the hospital with our second). My parents came to stay at our house with them while we went to a hockey game. I missed them terribly (I was also 2 months pregnant, so that might have had something to do with it) and called them often. My parents don't do everything the way I do, but my girls had fun and everyone survived. Since then they've gone on a few 1-night sleep-overs to my sister and BIL's house. And the break is GREAT!! I'm more relaxed about leaving them having done it before, my kids are older and I trust my sister and BIL (they *adore* my kids).

Odds are everything will be fine, your kids will have a blast and Grandma will sleep for a week afterwards! hahaha

My kids are older now, but I always had a really hard time letting my little ones even get in a car with someone other than me. For me, it was that if something (God forbid) happen to them, I could never forgive myself or the other person. I know it's dramatic, but I also know that is how I would struggle - I always let people know how greatful I was for the offer (and did let them help in other ways, for sure) but I was just paranoid :) My first time away from my oldest was when she was 2 and my mom stayed with her. My kids have never taken a trip without me, I'm just too much of a worrier, but in some ways I think it would be wonderful for you and for them...it just depends on what works for you personally.