Childcare for My 5 Yr Old

Normally I'd say he could handle it BUT not in this situation. Autism changes it.

Contact a pastor and see if he has any sitter recommendations.

You'll have to check the laws for PA about letting your son babysit your daughter - in IL that would be LEGAL, as long as he had access to any meds, a # to get in touch with you, food etc (there's a checklist of what needs to be 'present' in order for your child to be left 'alone').
however, it's if you are comfortable. I'm not sure I would be.

however - I have used sittercity.com and have had FABULOUS success. They can specify if they will work with special needs kids and if they have experience with it. Also, lots of the sitters already have a background check on file - if not, it's like $10 or so for you to run a background check on them.

I had them come over when I was home and hang out (paid) with my daughter so I could guage compatability before I left them alone. But most of the time I hired college girls who were either majoring in social work, education or early childhood development so they already had an interest and experience working with a young girl.

Anyone that made my 'spidey-sense' tingle - I just passed on!!!!!!

Good luck!

My sister is a teacher. She watches a little boy with autism in her spare time. Maybe you could ask at the school and see what they suggest?

Many girls start babysitting around 12, so I would say 13 for your son is okay if he is fairly responsible. I would ask a trusted neighbor or friend to be available if there is an emergency, or to check in on them once in the evening.

Why don't you do a trial night first, go out to just a movie or just dinner and see how well he does, before you go and do both.

Nicole S Like said in another post it depends on his maturity and how they are together when you are home your 13 year old is most likely better equiped to take care of your daughter then a stranger. I would do as suggested a trial run for an hour first and see how it goes. You and your husband can run to walmart or the diner to have dessert wait about half an hour and call to see how things are. this will give you an idea of how he is handling things, then try it a little longer like and hour and a half and each time extend it 30 min. at a time. This way you dont have to worry about a strange person in your home and it builds confidence as well for both you and your son. Good Luck keep us posted. J.

Hi, Nicole:
I won't even consider doing that at all.
Are there any older teenagers or young couples in your neighborhood that would be willing to do that for a small fee?
Good luck.
D.

I started sitting when I was 11. It really depends on your son's maturity level. I was sitting 3 kids all under age 5(one and infant) by the time I was 12. I would say if he can handle his sisters special needs then I would allow it. But if you don't feel like he could handle it, then i would find someone else.

We used to hire my son's pre-school teacher to babysit him. He has high-functioning Asperger's but still I didn't want to leave him with a teenager. There was also a lady at church that worked with kids on the spectrum that we used. Maybe you could look into that to see if you could find someone. It is not illegal for you to leave him with your daughter, but will you be able to relax if you do? Otherwise, you will not be achieving your goal of going out without children to spend time with your hubby.

The Red Cross has a class for 12 year olds to take that is a babysitting class so I believe it is possible for a 12 year old to babysit legally, if not they would make the age of the class for older kids.

With the circumstances you are describing I would not let him do the primary care-giving until she is a bit older. Nothing against him, just with her limitations he may get overwhelmed with her. If you have young ladies from church or some neighbor lady that could come over and watch just her I think that is what I would do. I would worry terribly about a stranger being in my house with my kids.

I would start allowing him to watch himself for a few minutes while you went to a neighbors for a cup of coffee, of whatever excuse you can make up. Or short trips to the neighborhood store. He is old enough to be responsible for watching himself and teaching him to do that then allowing him to grow more responsible and watching her is a good progression.

I would not leave your teenaged son alone with a young child with such significant needs for more than an hour or so. If your daughter's behavior erupts, he may not have the maturity or skill set to redirect her and someone could get hurt. If you want to leave them to run to the store, make sure that a neighbor is home and ALL numbers are posted by the phone.

When I was in graduate school I took care of two boys on the spectrum, having responded to an email forwarded through our program director. The mother emailed the chair of the graduate school of education's secretary with a description of her children, hours needed and rate willing to pay. It was forwarded to all of us and those who responded were interviewed by the family.

It worked out very well b/c they ended up with three of us who were comfortable spending time with children who have significant needs and we ended up with a phenomenal reference!

Finding a qualified sitter: We have a local college that has an education curriculum (early childhood, special ed, the works). I reached out to them for a qualified sitter when I was stuck for help... This worked well because she was available at times when my usual sitter wasn't (during certain days when I could schedule doctor appts, etc.) and was more mature than a teenager... hope this helps~