Babysitter Age -- What's Too Young?

I babysat from 11 years to 16 years when I got a job at a grocery store. I had a handicapped sister so I was used to care taking. My first kids were a brother and sister 3 and 5 :). I did fine. I think 13 is fine especially with him having younger siblings. Having said that, I don't know if I could do it myself. I mean I did fine, but that was then and it was me!! So kudos for having the guts to go for it!!!

My babysitter is 13, who started at 12. When I had less kids, I probably thought that was too young and wouldn't have been comfortable with someone under 15/16. But as I became desperate for a babysitter - I tried her. I had met her mom through baseball and am friendly with her. Her mom is always home when she sits and she's been doing an excellent job. She's so much more reliable than my first sitter (who was 30).

12-13 is usually just right. Any older and they get too involved with school activities, and by the time they are 16 they have higher paying jobs and dates.

I was a professional babysitter in my day. 11 is too young despite the fact that here in MN they say 11 is the age at which a child might watch another child for short periods. I was babysitting for short stretches at 12-13. I don't think I graduated to younger children <2 yrs until I was 14.

A couple guidelines for a young babysitter (yes...13 is still young):

1. Don't stay out past 11:00pm.
2. Don't let the total hours be >5-6 hours.
3. Don't ask the younger babysitter to make dinner (non-cooking snacks...sure).
4. Don't ask a younger babysitter to do baths.
5. Ask that they stay in the house or back yard with the kids -- No walks to the park and no jaunts to a local sledding hill.
6. No friends over (that includes his 11 yr old brother).
7. No talking on the phone or texting.
8. Set parental control on your home computer if you haven't already. Do the same for cable tv.

These are rules that Paul should be OK with and that his younger brother should know about to too. This is an important job after all and if he is interested, he can take the next year to really think about if he can handle it once he turns 12. And that might be perfect timing because by 14+ yrs, his older brother might decide he has better things to do than babysit.

11 is young, but i'd take a sensible 13 year old. keeping the lights on is good common sense for a young 'un in charge of a house not his own. leaving the light on in the kids' room and not blanketing are very mild snafus (and most kids can pull up their own blankets.)
if it's going to be a very late night it wouldn't hurt to have an adult on hand, but it sounds like paul is doing a great job and i'd keep him.
khairete
S.

Paul sounds like a great kid. Keep in mind he IS just a kid and will not do things EXACTLY the way you do. It would not occur to a 13 year old boy to turn out lights he is not using (least not MY 13 year old boys!). If your kids enjoy him and are safe, sounds to me like you found a winner!

Also, with kind corrections he WILL get better! Maybe you could write a (short) note to remind him next time to address the things that happen last time.

:)

12, 13 is normal, as long as they are mature enough to detect an emergency and know who to call and in what order (911, then mom and dad, etc)

ex, one of my step daughter's is 14, but i WOULD NOT leave my 8 year old all day alone with her because (she's smart) but common sense, is a little harder for her to grasp, her younger sister (13) i would leave her with, because she's more down to earth and can better detect a REAL emergency and more confident in "what to do if" i'm constantly quizing them on different senario's

also, first time baby sitting or just being ALONE in a house CAN be creepy especially if it's a large house...i STILL get creepd out in large houses, and sometimes in my own house, i'd probably have every light on switching them off and on so "bad ppl" know someone is there if i'm house/babysitting.

it's ok to be nervous at first especially if this is your first time...i left my 3 alone for 30 minutes (13, 12 and 6) and was in a hurry to get back home and they were just fine sitting on the couch taking turns playing video games

I started sitting for others at 11... and by 13 was sitting at least 2 nights a week almost every week (rotating between 3 or 4 families on a regular basis). By 14 I was working a "real" job that paid by the hour 4x what I made sitting. I not only then, but also at 31 leave all the lights on, especially in other people's houses.

In the dark in our own house, it's not easy to trip, but in other people's houses... crash. Your kids were great, sorry I broke the urn with great aunt Lilly... not a good night. There's also the fact that lightswitches are in weird places in other people's houses. And (with curtains drawn) it makes the house appear occupied by awake people (something taught in Red Cross Baby sitting classes is to leave lights on in various places in the house to discourage burglers). And on top of all the rest... it just feels safer / happier/ cozier. My husband gets ticked off at me that I leave the lights on in the house at night... but I WORK at night. I'm up... moving from room to room (bathroom, kiddo's room, let the dog out, grab a snack, let the dog in, work, bathroom, dog, laundry). I don't want to live in a cave. I can throw open all the drapes in the daytime and not be in the dark... but not so at night. At night, I need the lights on. The extra $11 a month is just plain worth it to me 1000x over. ((I was gone for a month so I based the added electric bill off of that month)). And when my husband goes into the office or the studio at night he turns THOSE lights on. Because he's working. So I think same should go for myself. (I also leave lights on when I leave the house, but that's because I've been attacked in the dark before and I will NOT willing come home to a dark house unless I'm armed).

So... personally... if the only two things are bothering you are the lights on, and not checking to make sure blankets haven't been kicked off... I'd keep him. I'd let the lights slide (after all he's "working" at night while you're gone), but just give him a heads up that one of the boys kicks his blankets off.

I WOULD however, put a "minimum" age limit out there. Tell the 11yo that when HE'S 13 (or whatever age you feel comy with) he can babysit also.

The red cross offeres the certification for babysitting to children aged 12 and up. You have to judge for yourself if the boy is ready or not, but if it were me, I would say if the kids are happy, safe, and actully went to bed, you have a winner.

M.

13 and up is fine.
11 is too young.

We let our neighbor 13yo sit for our kids. I don't think I'd let her handle betime, but that's more because of our "busy" and trying son, not her. WE have a hard time getting him to bed, so I don't think it's fair to saddle her with that.

But after we put them down, I'm perfectly comfortable leaving them, and letting her take care of the baby (4mos) when she wakes up.

Her father is 2 doors down, and of course she has a cell, so if there is really a problem, she's got backup.

I think he is doing great.

At 16 or 17 most of the kids are involved in so much at school that babysitting goes by the wayside. 12-15 is a good age.

Tell him when to check on the kids. He is still 13. Tell him please check on the kids to be sure their blankets are on every half hour. This is what I tell my kids girls when they babysit.
I needed lights when I babysat. My youngest daughter needs lights when she does. You just feel safer and can see into places in a strange house. Don't worry about that.
Give the younger brother a year or so. In NC the babysitting age for working with another family, not your own, is 12. Have younger brother come when you are in the house so you can train him too.
I think you are very lucky to have good kids to babysit.
My son took the babysitting class and was a wanted man in our subdivision. The girls were hired every weekend for over a year these last two years. They are now 13 and 15.
Be sure to "train" your sitters. These kids will see you as another mom figure and will respond to make you happy.

I would give Paul a checklist for things you want done. For all you know, his little siblings sleep in blanket sleepers and his babysitting course said not to put blankets on little ones!

As for lights on in the house, it's a bit wasteful but it could be seen as a safety issue - for him to be able to see and not hunt for light switches in an emergency, and also for the house to look heavily occupied from the outside.

So, until you know his thought processes and previous training, I wouldn't prejudge. Just tell him what you want.

I think 11 is too young for night time "alone" sitting and I would consider the younger one as a "mother's helper" during the day when you are doing yard work and the kids are inside, or the reverse with him taking the kids outside.

nothing wrong with 13. I was babysitting at the age of 12 but did not do late nights until I was a little older unless it was for my neighbor. I think 11 is a little bit too young but I would consider the brother for a mother's helper so when he is old enough to babysit you have two kids that you know and trust to choose from incase one is ever sick or busy.

I will be leaving my girls with a 13 year old girl, but I made sure she went through the babysitting class. I would not allow any teenager to watch my girls without that class and certification. I also will only be leaving them with her for maybe 4 hours max! I know in Kansas they allow the babysitting class for ages 11 and up, but I feel 11 is still too young. My oldest is 9 years old and I will not allow her to take the class until she is 13. I remember babysitting at the age of 12, and at times it became quite overwhelming.
I would keep Paul, but maybe you could talk to his mom to see if he could get certified. I know this class teaches the kids basic first aid, what to do in emergencies, and stuff like that. It would probably make you feel more comfortable if he would go through the class.

I have used a 13 year old neighbor girl as a babysitter before. She was very responsible (would even have the house clean when we returned). Since she was a neighbor, I also knew that either her mother or grandmother would be next door while we were gone. It's hard to find a sitter these days (so many other activities for kids). I do think 11 is too young. If you can find a sitter with a driver's license (as some have suggested) that is terrific.

My first thought is that 11 is too young to be left alone with two small children for an extended period of time. Paul, however, at 13 is probably fine. If he's mature and is doing a good job then stick with it. I started babysitting around that age, maybe even a little younger. My BIL occassionally watches our son and always leaves the light on in his room, which I don't understand but I think it makes HIM feel better. Whatever, as long as he's asleep. Also keep in mind that your kids may not need as much adherence to the routine as we think they do. If your son was already asleep, then maybe he didn't want to wake him up?

We have a little sheet we leave with anyone who takes my son (including my parents). It just outlines his night routine, including his favorite books and movies. The bedtime routine is very specific and sequential so that he will go to sleep and not think it's still "party time"! We also make sure that they have the names and numbers of our neighbors and we give the neighbors a quick "heads up" that we will be out for the night- none of which my "former clients" did for me and their kids were fine!

If the younger brother would lke to be a "mother's helper" and watch the kiddos while you get some things done around the house, then go for it!

I think that it depends on maturity. 13 is a little bit young but my daughter began to babysit when she was 13. she babysat her siblings at 11 but that was for very short periods and only in desperate situations (baby asleep, one kid needs to go to class etc). Did you ask him about the lights? The blanket? Usually, if you mention things to the babysitter, they will respect your wishes. With my daughter, it was just inexperience and the fact that everyone does things differently. Go with your gut. Do you feel comfortable with him as a babysitter? Has he done anything that really bothers you or puts the safety of your kids in question? Good luck! A reliable, steady babysitter can be invaluable, as my daughter's regular customers will tell you (she is now almost 16).

It truly depends on each individual sitter...... I started babysitting INFANTS when I was 11. By 13, I was doing overnight care for a family of 3 (3, 2, and newborn). But I was never into drinking, smoking, partying, etc.... I would pass on going to friends houses just to babysit. I loved kids that much!

He seems to have done a good job. If the kids are happy, I'd keep getting him.

I like the idea of a note reminding him of certain things. Times for eating, bed, etc. Reminder of what to do before bed: brush teeth, bathroom break, drink, cover kids with blankets, etc. On this note, make sure to write down contact numbers as well. (Emergency, your cells, etc.)

The family of 3 I babysat for had a bad experience with another family of sisters they had babysit before me though. (The mom told me this. We are friends today- 15 years later! Now her kids are almost grown up!) The other sisters would "rent" a bunch of pay per view movies when they would babysit. And they had a bad experience of missing money out of their bedroom after their niece babysat for them. These other girls were all right around my age........ SO IT TRULY DEPENDS ON EACH INDIVIDUAL BABYSITTER.

It depends on the sitter. I myself started babysitting at 14 and was quite comfortable doing it. My oldest niece is now 13 and has 3 younger siblings. I would have no problem leaving my daughter in her care (and I am PICKY).
However I also have some adult friends that I would never trust with watching her. Don't get me wrong they are great people, just not good with kids.

As for the 11 year old, that might be worth while if you need a sitter while you are at home, for example when you have a big cleaning project or even just a short run to the supermarket during the day.

Anyone I have ever babysat for as a kid/youth had me watch their kids for a few hours during the afternoon first, before making it for a "parents night out" and later even an entire weekend. That is a great way to see how they interact with your kids and you can give gentle guidance.
Good luck!

There is a babysitters course that the American Red Cross offers to kids ages 12 and up. I believe it is not legal to leave the kids with anyone younger than 12.

I think the maturity of the person babysitting is the issue. Some 17 year old girls are so focused on the TV shows and talking to their friends on the phone that the kids would be safer with someone younger that has not went into that stage of young adulthood.

I began baby sitting when I was 12. I had been a latch key kid since I was 8, my sister was 5 years younger than me and I have always loved children.

I agree that it depends on the child.. Beginning the summer after my 8th grade year, I actually did a sort of "day camp" for my sister and 2 boy cousins. I cooked, came up with activities and we all did great.. Made good money too!

Paul sounds great. You can remind him that your kids are fine with the lights off at night and that baby needs a blanket.

I agree that I get freaked out in big houses at night. Maybe you could just remind him to turn off the lights and close the doors to the rooms he is not using.. Also leave him a flashlight..

I think you need to go with your gut. I have a 15 year old son who I trust to baby sit his 3 1/2 year old sister for only limited times but that is my son. Honestly some of his friends act more responsible than him and I would trust them with my daughter for longer periods than my own son. So I think it depends on how mature the child is.
As for him forgetting to do things you can always leave a check list on the fridge for him. ie. get jammies on, give bedtime snack, read bedtime story, cover children, turn off bedroom lights. Even if the chore seems simple I think any new baby sitter, no matter the age, could benifit from a list of the kids "normal" routines.
Good luck and just follow your gut!

13 is not too young to babysit. I was babysitting for other people at 9 years old. My first job was an infant and I came to baby sit at 9 years old while the baby was taking a nap and the mom went to go grocery shopping. By the time I was 11 I was watching 5 kids at one time! They were in my neighborhood, so if I needed anything, my mom was there just down the street

Where/when I grew up (in the 70's), 14 was the age where girls (baby sitting was something guys just didn't do unless it was their own siblings) began being available for baby sitting. 14 was baby sitting in training, 15-17 were prime baby sitting years. At 18 some kept it up, but you could get jobs at the super market check out or waiting tables so baby sitting jobs fell to the wayside.
I think 11 is too young to be in charge. I think 13 is a bit on the young side, but maturity level varies a lot in individuals and he seems to be working out so you might as well continue with him. In a few more years the younger brother might be alright (but then there is business competition between brothers).

I would feel better if Paul had an adult nearby for help if needed. He sounds fine. I would have said 13 is too young but it depends on a lot of things not just the babysitters age, their maturity is HUGE. Plus kids behavior, age any special needs they may have.

Hi D.,

I only have adults (relatives and friends) sit my children.

I started sitting children at age 12. No Red Cross babysitter course. I would not want my 12 year old self babysit my children. I would be comfortable with my high school and college age self. I have met high school age children that I would not trust, and one that I would trust. I go with adults. I have noticed that 20-somethings these days are more immature than in the past.

Good luck!
: ) M. D.

I would say go with your instinct, if you're not comfortable with it, then it's not right for your family. I was babysitting at 12, when my parents were home down the street. Has he taken a babysitting course?
I think it's normal for even young teens to like some lights on in a strange house. Maybe you could just reiterate (sp?) to him about covering them, and turning their bedroom lights off, and leave a night light or hall light on near the kids.
As for the 11 year old, I say too young. Kids that age would likely still panick in an emergency and have trouble remembering what to do.
Good luck!

It sounds like Paul has done a good job, but I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my kids with anyone under 16 at the youngest. I did babysit at age 13 up, so if you know the family well and perhaps they live a few doors down where his mom and dad are -then that wouldn't be so bad. Your kids sound like they were fine for him. I have to say, my oldest has no "fear" of older kids, and I don't think he would mind a 13 year old -and definitely NOT an 11 year old.

You should also check to see what the MA laws are regarding children at home alone. Some states have them and some do not (many do not). However, the ones that do often have stipulations that no children under 10 or 12 or 14 can be left alone for more than 2 hours -that sort of thing. Some state no one home alone under 13. Many states that don't have actual laws do have recorded "recommendations" by DFACS on the books stating what they recommend age-wise as far as leaving kids home alone and babysitting. It would be good to know those for your state and area just in case (God forbid) anything ever happened or came up.

PA State says no one under the age of 14 should be responsible for a younger child. I say no one who isn't able to possess a sr. driver's license should be responsible for younger children. Paul seems like a very mature and responsible 13 yr old, but I do think he's still a tad too young. Just my 2 cents.

I would never leave my child in the care of a 13 year old. Just my opinion. I am not sure I would even trust a 16 or 17 year old. I am a paranoid mom, and I am extremely cautious, especially with my most precious child. I have a daughter, and I would never leave her in the care of a male babysitter (except her grandfather). But you trust your instincts, and if you don't have a problem with it, then more power to you. But I would never do this. Good luck to you.

Good grief, no, I would not be comfortable with that. Eleven through thirteen is mother's helper age, not stay in a house at night alone age. In some states, leaving an 11 year old alone in his OWN own home isn't even legal.

I babysat a lot at 16-17 for a 3 and 6 year old and had a brief babysitter class and intro CPR training. But I had no clue how to deal with kids or do much more than call 911 in an emergency. I was also terrified of being in the house alone when the kids were sleeping and it got to be 10, 11, 12 o'cliock. Some teenagers would do better I suppose than I did, but knowing my own experience, I wouldn't easily trust even a teenager, let alone a younger child.

Yes, best case scenario and probable scenario is he is playing with your kids and putting them in bed, I am sure he does fine. But what if someone comes to the door or there is an intruder or he tries to heat up something on the stove or if your child gets into the medicine cabinet or the prechooler chokes. Does he know wha tto do? Are his instincts good?

I am really not trying to be critical of your decision, I just wonder if you looked at it this way. A babysitter is not just there to put the kids to bed or be a playmate. If they stay awake crying for hours, it's not really the end fo the world. A babysitter is there to keep them safe and react like an parent would in an emergency. I would recommend finidng a young adult to sit at night and maybe let the 13 year old sit for short daytime periods (like trips to the grocery store) and let the 11 year old be a mother's helper when you are doing yard work, etc.

Personally, I would never want someone under the age, of 16. I only feel comfortable, with someone who can drive.

I would not be comfortable with that, either. Let me share an experience of mine with you. A few years ago, my husband and I had a 12 year old babysitter. She sat for us a few times and brought a friend with her, which was fine with us (we didn't pay her friend - she was just there to be with our sitter). Our sitter seemed very mature beyond her years and I was comfortable with her - until one night when we came home, she and her friend told us they LOVED our swingset, and after they put the kids to bed, they went outside in our backyard and played on our swingset. They told us that so innocently so they obviously don't think they did anything wrong. I could not believe my ears that they left our house at night, even if it was just in our backyard. The side door was open and anyone could have entered our house. At first I thought maybe they were smoking, but my husband said they are so young and still kids themselves, that they probably really loved the swingset and fun playing on it. We never used her again. Age12 (and 13) is truly too young - they are kids themselves. However, those ages are great to have as a mommy's helper when you ARE HOME. But when you leave the house, I feel your sitter should be at least 17 years old. I also don't love the fact that your sitter is a boy. Unless you know his family VERY WELL and trust them completely, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a male babysitting my kids - you just never know if something sexually inappropriate could happen.

i think 15 is alright if the person is responsible.

Massachusetts does not set a specific age at which a child can be left home alone. In Massachusetts, such issues are decided on a case-by-case basis. If something was to go wrong however the Dept of Children and Families (who enjoy harrassing people) would automatically find a case of neglect against you. It is a definition that includes a range fo things and what they will get you on is "failure by a caretaker, either deliberately or through negligence or inability, to take those actions necessary to provide a child with medical care, supervision".

If you have a record of neglect, you give the State power over you and your children and it is not fun, I assure you. It is harrassment. My son tripped and fell in the playground and had a black eye. His daycare called them and a year later I am still dealing with those Massholes.