Child with Impulsive Aggression

Hi K.,

Go onto the Future Horizon website:

https://www.fhautism.com/cgi-bin/shopper.cgi?search=actio...

and check out the two workbooks written by Dr. Tony Attwood, both of which are called Exploring Feeling: Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Manage Anger, and Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Manage Anxiety. I attended Dr. Attwoods conference last year and thought that it was a very good proactive way for helping our kids -- all kids, disability or not -- learn to recognize and deal with their feelings in a positive, productive way.

I hope this helps.

L.

I've learned that all boys are aggressive by nature (due to the protective, bread-winning biology) just as we, as girls, are nurturing by nature (due to our biology of being child bearers). I've also learned that the biology of males differs from females in the way that they do not process feelings as well or as quickly as females, therefore the delayed regret from his actions. So on that note, I've come to understand that, as moms, it is our responsibilty to ackowledge the differnce between male & female biology and not try to change the nature of our sons or to reprimand our sons for their differencs (which will only cause them to resent us later in life...hence, teenage regellion) but to encourage them to channel their natural, testosterone produced aggression in a productive way...such as sports (or any other activity that suits their individuality) to prevent them from exerting it through violence. This knowledge has helped me & my 11 year old son. I'm able to help him understand what is going on with his body and he's starting to be able to identify the moments when he's feeling more aggressive than others. He tells me when he needs to jump around or go outside & that prevents him from misbehaving. Punishment just made him resentful because I was not understanding his needs. Take care and good luck.

Hi! I am a step mom to a high funtioning 15 year old boy who is autistic. This year at his IEP we were introduced to something really neat that your son may already do in school, but may not. We have a book called "social stories". We liked it so much at school that we implemanted it here at home as well. Anytime there is a unappropriate behavior, sit down with hom and write the behavior, why it is inappropriate it and what the consequences are to that behavior. Eventually he should be able to fnid the correct "story" for the behavior he demonstrated that what not appropriate. I think it is great, but it is something you have to stick to....oh, and he draws a picture after the story. He has all kinds from not touching himself in public, to not yelling, etc.Is your son high funtioning? Ours is, and he is very capable of following instruction, he is a typical teen and tries to get away with as much as possible. I think because of the autism they are allowed to get away with more, people think "well he is autistic", but i don't believe that to be the case. He should be instructed just like any other child in the home. It gets hard, puberty is extremely tough! Especially with boys.............

He needs a behavioral therapist. With both ADHD and being on the Autism spectrum, he is going to be extremely impulsive. A child like this will do things that they know are wrong but not even think about it being wrong before they do it. It's hard to explain but their minds just don't work like ours. We think of what could happen before we do things but they just do things and deal with the consequences later. It's hard to look at it objectively because kids like this tend to be quite brilliant at times so you think they get it but being brilliant doesn't mean they get everything. In regards to discipline, traditional discipline methods aren't going to work without some behavioral modification therapy. You have a difficult mix of conditions and he is going to be a difficult child but behavioral modification will make things easier. With puberty it's going to be even more severe. Without considering his diagnoses and just considering the fact that he has an absent father he would need therapy because an adolescent boy is affected by not having a proper male figure in his life. The best thing you could do is to get him the help he needs because you have a tough mix and you don't want him to have even more problems going into adulthood. Best wishes from a mom with a preschooler teetering between ADHD and Asperger’s or both and in therapy herself trying to cope and understand.

I have a 7 year old son with PDD-NOS and he is sometimes aggressive. I have no solutions, but since you say your son immediately regrets it, maybe he just needs frequent reminders and practice until he gets the hang of controlling his emotions. If you've been able to handle him for the last 10 years, you should be able to get through this, too. Good luck and God bless you.

Homeopathy is really helpful. Go to www.bluedominoes.com as they have great book suggestions and you can order or just check them out from your library. My son was helped out EXTREMELY by a remedy called androctonus - unbelievable. There are a couple of recommended homeopathy books aimed specifically at children with ASD and ADHD.

Also, there is a group on yahoo hosted by Dr. Luc. It's more of a blog, but you can email questions and he responds. He is an MD as well as a homeopath and specializes in behavior - particularly ADHD and ASD. He has several books as well - you can just google Dr. Luc and it'll bring up his page so you can sign up for either the yahoo or his blog stream.

Also, there is a doctor (MD) in Old Town that specializes in Infoceuticals that has helped a number of children with ASD.

Good luck to you.

Keep your head up i know it's hard. Consistency is the key.

Please get advice from a good therapist. All kids at this age are emotional train wrecks, but your son's issues are unique and it would help a bunch if you got some pro advice. BTW, I have a nephew in a similar position, it will improve with the right help! Good luck!

Hi K.,
I feel for you. My nephew has the same. Could your son's meds be off or no longer effective for him? Could his higher level of testosterone (if truly pre-pubescent) be affecting his chemistry and therefore the efficacy of his meds? Maybe it's time for a check up w/ the doc.
Good luck to you. You have some good replies from other moms.

I worked with DD adults in a behavioral day program and have a pretty darn good idea of what you are going thru! Does your son have a TBS worker? TBS stands for Theraputic Behavior Specialist. They are social workers who work one-on-one with a client (child or adult) on behavioral issues. Since your son is autistic he will have behavioral issues his entire life, they will change but there will always be something. If he doesn't already have a TBS worker look into getting one (contact the county, they usually provide this service for free or very low cost), they can help both of you a lot. Another thing I found with the clients I worked with, many of whom had not received very much treatment, some were in their 40's and older so they were simply warehoused for most of their lives. Anyway, they didn't have the skills to express emotions and would act out in various ways insted, usually negatively. I worked a ton on teaching them the words for emotions and how to use them. I also found some baby sign language flash cards with emotions on them. This worked wonders. Some had an easier time with signing their feelings rather than speaking them. I think I found them at Barnes & Noble. I found the best way to prevent an incident was to watch for signs, when they were beginning to become agitated, and intervene then. Have him talk about his emotions and help him put it into words. Then talk about how to handle these emotions. Working with DD people (kids and adults) requires a LOT of talking, about half of what you say gets thru, so talk, talk, talk. Good luck and hang in there!!!