Help Dealing with My Recently Diagnosed PDD Son

It's time to take him to see a psychiatrist and have him evaluated. You might need to put him on some meds along with talk therapy. He might have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and that calls for meds AND therapy. Do it now so he can learn how to deal with it productively before it gets out of hand and you have legal issues. I have been dealing with this with my son for years (he's 17 now and on Adderall along with weekly therapy) and it has made a 180 degree difference in his behavior along with his self esteem and ability to concentrate, especially on school work. I just wish I had done it YEARS ago.

I have a 6 yo son that was diagnosed at 3 with PDD-NOS. We have been struggling with the exact same issues! Learn and read as much as you can about PDD-NOS and you will see that his behavior is right in lign with that diagnosis. It is not ODD, ADHD etc....it is clearly PDD-NOS!
Every kid on the autism spectrum is different. What works for my son may not work for yours, but there are lots and lots of things to try. Currently, we are exploring Occupational Therapy (OT) which his pediatrician prescribed. We go once a week and the therapist addresses his sensory needs, behavior needs, fine motor, gross motor....these can all be connected and if "disorganized" can lead to major aggression. (again, right in lign with the PDD-NOS diagnosis) Your OT will give you a series of "tests" and your son "tests" also. They'll consist of answering questions, rating his sensitivity to some things, behavior patterns etc....This will give the OT a baseline and a clear view of the areas that need work.. I was not convinced that "brushing" (a sensory diet technique sometimes recommended by OT) would do anything for my son, in fact I thought it was pretty hoaky! But, the proof is in the puddin! And we have noticed a big change as a result. Please feel free to contact me personally. I think support from other mom's and dad's with PDD kids is vital and will give you some hope! BTW, you have a right to request an IEP with his school, which would then lead you to valuable resources through the school system!!! look in to it!
E.

It would help to get an evaluation by a child psychiatrist to explore possible treatments, including medications to help your child. Ignoring his behavior is not helpful, as he has little self control, and is, by and large, not doing it for attention. Sometimes a behavioral plan that is consistent between home and school can help, but often medication intervention is the most helpful. Some kids with PDD can benefit from therapy from a therapist with a lot of experience with treating PDD kids.

A little about me: A child psychiatrist practicing in Palo Alto for 15 years.

Years ago when a friend's child was diagnosed with PDD-NOS they were happy that it wasn't autism. Then when they realized that they would get more services from the school district with the diagnosis of autism they asked the doctor to change it. The two main reasons to get "label" is to qualify for services and to point you in the right direction for help. I would categorized help into three categories -- medical, educational, and behavioral. I've known students to have 1:1 aides in regular classrooms to help them with behaviors and to stay on task. You can request that through an IEP. Parents Helping Parents in San Jose is a great resource. www.php.com
As others mentioned, some people have had a lot of success with diets (gluton and dairy free diets are popular at the moment). Others have had luck with medications. My 20 yr old autistic son does well on Abilify. He goes to Dr. Glen Elliot's clinic at Childrens Health Counsel in Palo Alto. I think these are all pretty far from you, but their websites might help you find services closer to home.
Good Luck

It is sad that we have come up with so many labels these days for our little still growing children. And, we are bombarded with all kinds of advice around us that it is so overwhelming to just be the parent we want to be for our children. Of course, do look at all the possibilities before choosing the path that feels right to you.

As for the behavior issue, all I have learned over and over that we can teach positive behavior only by demonstrating positive behavior ourselves. When we use punishing techniques such as time outs, withdrawal (love, food, friends), take away privileges, etc., a child does not feel recognized, understood, or loved and reacts in an immature way (though age appropriate) that we find unacceptable. Not sure what's the age of your child, but children do outgrow all immature behavior as they get older. But that does not mean we should accept or encourage bad behavior. As long as our techniques involve 'working with child', as opposed to 'doing to' techniques, with compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love, understanding, acknowledgement, things do turn out on the positive side.

I highly recommend these books:

Discover your child's learning style : children learn in unique ways--here's the key to every child's learning success by Mariaemma Willis & Victoria Kindle Hodson - Offeres interesting perspective on labels.

How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish - Offers Correct and incorrect discipline techniques

Unconditional parenting : moving from rewards and punishments to love and reason by Alfie Kohn

Smart love : the compassionate alternative to discipline that will make you a better parent and your child a better person by Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper.

Best,
-Rachna

I would check into local Autism resources in your area. You are going to need some assistance here. Does he have an IEP at school? If not, please make an appointment with ther resource/special ed person at your school and get the wheels turning.
In the mean time, stay as consistent as possible. Kids on the spectrum need as much structure as possible. Raising your voice will usually just make things worse. A time-out on a mat works will with my nephews (one Asperger's, the other was PDD-Nos, but now changed to High Functioning Autism). Even when they are visiting here, which is WAY out of their usual routine, they know that I have a mat (the door mat inside my back door) that they will have to sit on if they don't obey/behave as expected.
Stick with it and please get some assistance. You, and your son, will be happier for it!

Get connected with some parent support. If you are in the Bay Area, call Parents Helping Parents www.php.com. They have support groups for autism and Asperger's, PDD, Also they have a lot of resource to help you understand and work with the special education system.
There are lots of online support groups as well. Check out www.autismspeaks.org , www.hollyrod.org ,

Get the support of someone who has expertise in behavioral issues. The single biggest barrier to our childrens success and inclusion is their behavior.
It is important to understand that their behavior is NOT just because they are willfully being bad, they have neurological issues that affect their behavior, learning and understanding of lots of things.
You also want to contact the Regional Center to see if he may be eligible for support and services through that system.
The school is obligated to provide support for him to participate in school in the least restrictive environment that he can be successful in
There's a lot of stuff to learn. Remember this is the same child you had before you had a label for it. The label just helps you to understand it better.
Best
J. Jaeger

Im not even certain I know what PDD-NO is, so I hope Im not completely off the mark in my suggestion. Others have mentioned autism, so I will assume it has to do with that. I have several friends who put their kids in karate classes to help vent their energy, and need to be physical. I wonder if your son would do well with a class in karate. I have no experience with karate with my own kids, but hear so many great things about it I wish now I could go back and sign my son and daughter up at an early age. I hear they teach great self control and proper ways to handle anger without hurting others. Self esteem and confidance are areas they work on too. It sometimes helps to have another adult be in charge of teaching certain skills to our kids and maybe he would respond in a positive way to the physical side of karate and listen to instruction from his leader. If it was my child, I would go and discuss it with a few karate instructors and find one who understands what is happening with your son and will work on that aspect of his personality to help him. Give him a big hug. Hope things smooth out for him, and you.

No, don't ignore it, these are coming from people who don't understand the disorder. These children need firm structure and redirection and there are ways to help him become more socialized. It would be wise to do some research, print out some articles and hand them to his teacher so she can understand this as well to help him, otherwise what you implement at home will be lost when he gets to school. A lot of information out there on this, here are some I found,

http://jaynagirl.cwd-cragin.com/?Script=treatment

this site is heavy with selling commercial products and resources to help though:

http://www.nationalautismresources.com/pdd-nos-social-ski...

http://www.nationalautismresources.com/autismsymptoms.html (click the 'read more' to see the most of the info)

http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ab...

Here is a good teachers guide on the disorder:
http://www.theteachersguide.com/PDDBriefingPaper.html

Don't ignore it-- talk with other parents who understand--parents who don't have experience with really oppositional children don't understand that a little extra discipline isn't going to help. You didn't mention diet in your post. There is a growing body of evidence that diet affects behavior significantly and even a group of doctor's who claim to be able to cure autism with significant diet changes (http://www.defeatautismnow.com). A good friend of mine has a child that sounds a lot like your boy (though undiagnosed) and his behavior dramatically improved when she tested him for intolerance and then took him off gluten products. Once his system cleared of the gluten, it was so obvious that she can now tell when he's had bread or something at a friends house by how oppositional he is afterward. You have a good kid in there, don't give up on him, keep trying different ideas.

How old is he? What is PDD-NOs? What does he say when you ask him about his behavior? Is he bored in school, or is he frustrated because he does not understand some of it?