Child Sleeping in the Bed

Sorry I like to sleep and my kids like to move too much. So, no they didn't sleep with us. If one had a bad dream or something they would run in lay down for a few minutes then we would put them back in their beds. We bonded just fine!

My children NEVER ever slept in our bed. They are both well adjusted kids. My sleep is just as important as theirs. They do NOT need to be in my bed. They toss and turn and kick. If I don't get a good night's sleep, I am not a good mommy. I am with them during the waking hours of the day, they do not need to be attached to me at night, too.
Leave your child in her own bed!!
LBC

You are just fine. How I WISH my hubby wouldn't bring our son into our bed, but he lets him come in pretty much every night now (usually somewhere around 4 am). Once he comes in I leave, as my son sleeps horizontally and I end up with his feet in my ribs. Yes, it is sweet to have special cuddle time, but I get it when I lay down with him for naps a few times a week. You know what is even sweeter than cuddling with your child at night? Being well rested and not bitchy :-) I think the whole house is happier when I have gotten high quality sleep, which cannot be had with my son in our bed.

Puh-lease. No. No no no no no no no. You are not.

We never let our twin boys in bed unless one is sick and throwing up (nothing sadder than seeing one child crying because his brother threw up on him and another child crying because he's throwing up). I need my sleep, and so does my husband. I don't view it as bonding time at all. My bed is for me and my husband, not the kids. We bond plenty during the day.

Oh, please, it's great if people like bonding all night. But our kids have always slept alone, and so did my husband and I as kids. I need my sleep so I can bond in the DAY time without being an ogre. I've slept with the kids on occasion, when they were ill, as guests on a hideaway etc, and yeah, long sleepless kicky nights. Not fun. My daughter sometimes sleeps with me when the hubs is out of town (and I still have my whole half of the queen size because she takes up way less room than he does). It's usually because she falls asleep there during books, and that's really nice. I would let her all the time now that she's bigger and doesn't kick, but I don't push it. She only wants to sometimes. She loves her own bed. All the kids do.

I do not let my kids sleep in our bed and I do not feel deprived of special bonding moments! Sorry, no disrespect to your friends but I think that is totally asinine! There are millions of other ways to bond with your children. There have been only a few instances when I have let my 3 year old daughter come into bed with us and it has been because she was sick. However, my daughter is the most laid back child I have ever known and she will not expect to sleep in our bed and will willingly go back into her own bed. My son would be a different story. He is very clingy and I know I would be creating a problem if I were to bring him into our bed. I agree with you that it is very uncomfortable! We have a king size bed and the few times that my daughter has slept with us, I have found myself clinging to the edge! Also, the main reason that I don't want my kids sleeping with us is because I want to have a marriage and a relationship with my husband! I love my kids, but I need to keep my marriage a priority too!

There is something special about cuddling with a sleeping child. If she hasnt started sleepng in your bed I woouldnt start now because she will want to stay. You are though missing out on something. But do it in a hotel room or on the couch cause if you have her doing well in her own bed don't upset it

We ended up sort of unwillingly having the kids cosleep with us for various reasons at various times. We mainly allow it when the kids are sick/feverish or when our Autistic daughter is having some serious anxiety problems.

You're not "missing out on bonding time." You're doing just fine. If everyone in the house is happy with the current arrangement and always has been, why fix what isn't broken?

our oldest son has never slept in the bed with us..he has fallen asleep watching tv once and one time took a nap w/ my husband but never at night. dangerous! and you bond with your child w/out having them sleep with you.

Yes, it's lovely, and like anything, it also has it's downsides. Unless your daughter is requesting to sleep with you, if she's happy in her own bed, then that's great. Cuddle her like mad all day long.

You are very smart not to start the kids sleeping with you. Its hard to get them out of your bed and YES they kick like crazy. Tell others to back off. Their is other ways to bond. Trust your gut always.

My daughter's been in my bed since birth and I definitely feel it's created a stronger bond - - of course I also breastfed until she self weaned at 4.5 y/o. She'll be 6 in Sept. I've gone thru a few short phases with her that she was moving a lot, mainly due to the regular cycle of night terrors and stuff the 2-3 y/o's go thru. Having her feel safe, secure, comforted and loved has helped her self esteem, sleeping cycles and overall well being. She never had to wake up afraid because she was alone in a dark room, or heard a strange/scary sound and was all alone without Mommy to help her nearby. Not to mention *I* had peace of mind with her in my bed so that if *I* woke up from a strange sound, I knew she was safe with me.

I'm about to have #2 in a week or 2 and will have newborn in bed with me like I did with #1.

no, you arent missing out. Get plenty of cuddling time while she's awake.

WE NEVER LET OUR KIDS SLEEP WITH US! Are you kidding? No one gets any rest and it seriously flaws your one on one bonding time with your partner. I am very sorry but it does. I really would not want to be "creative" and hang from the chandaliars. I want to be in my own bed doing what adults do and not having a child who can potentially wake up and be scarred for life. NO WAY! My children are 22 and 17 and they got plenty of bonding time during the day. Where is the separation with people who think their kids need to be the center of the relationship? I beg to differ. All it does it separate you and your partner. Think of mother/father needs 1st and then child needs 2nd. Your marriage will actually outlast your children growing up. Not healthy...and that's my 2 cents.

We never allowed any of our children to sleep with us. When my son was sick I did lay down with him in his bed until he fell asleep but that was it. My son is a fish in bed flopping and squirming all over it,always has. I was always afraid of rolling over them in the night and harming them. My husband would have had to wear a cup (if ya get my drift). Now napping on the sofa, sure we have done that, but I always sang my children to sleep and rocked them at bed time.
M. F

My daughter is 2 and we've never slept or napped in bed together. The only time she's even layed with me in bed until she fell asleep was when we were visiting relatives and she couldn't settle down, it was very late, everyone else in the house was asleep and my cousin's daughter had her Bat Mitzvah the next morning, so I didn't want her disturbing everyone. I've never been a good sleeper myself, so I really want to instill good sleep habits with my kids. Sleeping together is not necessary for healthy bonding and actually leads to a co-dependance that is unhealthy. When my kids are older, if they want to spend a night in my bed, they will be welcome, but I'd much rather they preferred their own beds.

Not at all. From day 1, I wanted my daughter to know that my room with her dad was our place. If she got scared at night, I would go sit in her room. We had and have a wonderful going to bed routine which consists of a lot of snuggle time. At 7, she still knows to knock on our bedroom door if it is closed. We are a very close family with respect for parental privacy at night.

You do what is comfortable to you and your daughter. We co-slept with both our girls...One was 3+ before she moved out of our bed, our second came back and forth until she was about 5...But that's what worked for US!!!
I encourage a lot of our young Moms at church to go with whatever feels best. For those who co-sleep, I can totally relate. For those who put their babies in cribs / toddler beds, I commend them...Because in the end, I think I was the one who had a hard time letting go. :)
Nope M. - don't worry about it..you are doing a great job and doing what's best for you all!!!

My son is 9 months old and I still take naps with him and he slept in our bed till like a month ago....I loved it I felt like he felt safe and secure and I loved the cuddling : ) I'm also not sure if I will have another child so I am doing what I want with him : )

Updated

My son is 9 months old and I still take naps with him and he slept in our bed till like a month ago....I loved it I felt like he felt safe and secure and I loved the cuddling : ) I'm also not sure if I will have another child so I am doing what I want with him : )

Hi J.,
I have never had either of my children sleep in my bed with me- or have I slept with them in theirs. I think it's just parents rationalizing why they do it- and the real reason is that their kids won't sleep alone and the parents don't want to deal with the fights or the parent is single (or unhappy) and if fills the loneliness.

You are right girl friend- get a good night sleep- that makes you happy and nice to your kids during the day!

There were a few to many times when our daughter slept in our bed. She was very ill at one point and we would be all together and would all fall asleep and it was fine. I loved her little body being right there so I could hear her breathing.

We also sometimes took naps together. I loved when she would read to me.. I would fall asleep and when I would wake up, she also would have fallen asleep.

So sweet to see those little curls.. She was not a kicker or flailer, so maybe it made a difference.

If you do not miss it and your child does not request it. Leave it alone.

I agree with many others here that the parents' bed is not for kids. The few times he has done this over the years (sometimes when my husband was out of town), he usually turned sideways or move up so close to me that I would jump out of bed and run around to the other side. You are sleeping most of the time anyway so what kind of bonding is going on? I do cuddle with my son in his bed for a few minutes when he goes to bed. To me, this is great bonding time because we often talk about the day and now he talks a little about girls at school that he likes (he's 10).

I have two children and personally I don't believe in the child sleeping with you. I have watched it ruin many marriages by putting the child before the husband which is hard enough without putting them in your bed too. But again, this is my personal opinion.

Your friends are fools! There are so many ways that you can bond with your child without sleeping with them - which, by the way, I don't see as a bonding experience because as you say they just thrash and kick all night and you don't get to sleep and then you're not a happy mommy! I made the mistake of sharing my bed with my first daughter until she was around 10 months and I couldn't take it any more. When baby #2 came along I knew better. I say good for you for not having a child sleeping in your bed!! To each his (or her) own - just ignore your sleep-deprived friends...

you can cuddle and bond and it doesn't have to be in your bed. we only let our son in our bed if he wakes up early on a Sat or Sunday morning, or if he gets scared by a thunderstorm. Even in the case of a thunderstorm, we try to encourage him to stay in his room so we will go lay in his bed with him. I know my son and don't want to start a bad habit. i actually like to cuddle him in his bed.