Does anyone have any recommendations for good tools (books, videos, websites, etc.) to use when discussing "Stranger Danger", etc. with a toddler (my daughter is 3). I just had a complete meltdown breaking down in tears when I received an e-mail about the owner of Don's Whistle Stop confessing to molesting little girls on his trains during their birthday parties... it was one of the places I considered when searching for a place to have my 3 year old, Regan's, birthday party. The breakdown was due to guilt for not yet having a "stranger danger" in depth conversation with her yet. We've talked about it a little, but definitely not enough. She just started pre-school and for 5 hours every Tuesday and Thursday, I have absolutely no certainty that she is completely safe. This world we live in can be so scary, and I definitely could use some resources in helping to get the importance of safety to her without scaring her though. Any insight would be appreciated.
We actually checked out "The Safe Side" video and other books from the library recommended by all of you who always give such wonderful advice. The video is very kid friendly and entertaining and is one we will be re-checking periodically to view again as helpful reminders on staying safe. One of the books we liked the most was The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse by Jody Bergsma.
I second the advice about the Berenstein Bears book. Check out Half Price Books if you decide to look for it, they usually have a fairly decent Berenstein Bear collection. IMO it's written as to easily approach a difficult subject and it also is written in a way that a younger child can understand.
I can't recommend the Safe Side series http://www.thesafeside.com/ enough! It is wonderful! BUT At the ages your children are- they aren't going to get it. It just doesn't really register at 2 & 3, unless they have an innate fear of strangers. My two girls are extremely social & gregarious. They love to talk to & engage any & all. At 5 & 8, I have to remind them constantly to be vigilant- not to trust anyone I don't tell them it's OK to trust!
Danger is everywhere, but we cannot & must not live in fear. The good people are the majority. Bad seeds have always been with us- you just didn't know it when you were a kid b/c there was no 24 hour news!
D.
I can't recommend tools per se, but I've followed up by using the termonology, "safe-side adult" in everyday conversations and when we are coming into our neighborhood and see a stranger walking down the street, we go over the rules about whether we would talk to them or not. Of course we have strict front door rules too.
I shall watch your responses with interest! Thanks for asking this important question.
C. S.
For one so young, I would suggest a book I stumbled on by the Berenstein Bears. It was really awesome and didn't make it too scary (it even dealt with Sister Bear's fear of all strangers and how not all strangers are "bad apples", and you can't tell by what someone looks like), but it stressed the importance of obeying the rules and staying safe. I thought they did a GREAT job in this book. It's called The Berenstein Bears Learn About Strangers.
I bought this for a friend's son and they read it before bed (he's just getting to that age where he's playing more around the neighborhood) and they have a contest to see how many "rules" they can remember that night. (On the last page of the book there's some "stranger rules" to remember).
We all do what we can to protect! I dont know of any tools when they are only 3 but talking to them about people they dont know and not going with anyone other than mommy or daddy or family. Thats were you start!
Good luck! And keep your chin up
Hi J.,
How horrible!! I hadn't heard about that story. Some good advice was given to me when my son was your daughter's age. You could teach her that if she is approached by someone that asks to take her home or makes her feel strange in any way, she is to yell, "You are not my mommy!!" (Or daddy) I would hope that they would remember to react that way if/when they were in a situation like that and not freeze up. I, personally, pray for God's protection.
Best wishes,
L.
