My son, 7, rode the bus to and from school in the beginning of the year. Because it got cold outside starting in Oct/Nov, (and I was wimpy and didn't want to stand out in the cold) I started driving him to school. He was riding the bus home, but somehow I started picking him up every day after school as well.
My husband and I want him to start riding the bus again, but my son is dead set against it. He's afraid. He said it's loud, hot/cold, etc. Now mind you his bus ride is about 10 min if that. I've also spoken with his bus drivers to see if there were any incidents, and they said there were none.
Can anyone give me any help in urging him to get on the bus again? His concerns were so high last night that he wet the bed.
Part of me says keep taking him, but part of me says he's pretty sheltered and needs to get some life experiences (we live in the boonies, and he has no other playmates except his class mates and his 5 yr old sister). I'm thinking he needs some coping tools to figure out how to interact.
Thx.
I'm staying with my 'mom-gut' response and we will continue to take him and pick him up. Thanks for the responses.
I think that after that first day of riding the bus is over, he will see there is nothing to be afraid of. Does he have any classmates that ride the bus, also? If so, maybe you could take him to that bus stop and they can get on together. It will also begin to show him how to be independent and to overcome his fears by conquering them! What better time to teach such valuable life lesson?
J. I am a busdriver,trainer for the board and a busdriver I have had some kids start of the year like this and end up loving the bus ride the driver needs to show concern for your son. They can build a trust between them . They can tell them they will see them this afternoon. Ask if they are ok, how was your day give them an assigned seat up front by the driver with a good friend a helpful student either young or older which ever is best for your child. I give my students a small gift of some sort every Friday if they are good stickers, pencils, anything. I have some students that bring a small toy of some sort to keep their attention. Good luck with your son. If you bend he will never want to ride. Would you ride tarc if you could have your friend or parent take you.
I hated rididng the bus too when I was in school, My mom always took me and I will always take my son. But its your choice good luck
Hi J., two of my girls ride the bus, they are 1st grade and K. My 1st grader started last year by herself as a K. I think your primary issue with your son lies in him feeling like his parents are giving him a choice. If he feels that he has to ride, he will probabaly make the best of it after day 1 or 2, and be on there being loud with the rest of 'em. In the beginning of the year when he consistently rode, you didn't mention any issues, but when you started taking him, it gave him a choice. How to correct it now? I would word it like 'mom or dad CAN'T take you, so you HAVE to ride the bus'. You can offer fun incentives that he will be excited about, to get things started. If you ride the bus today, you can have your favorite snack or watch your favorite movie. If you ride the bus this WEEK, we'll go skating on Sat. Soon it will taper off, he'll accept that he doesn't make the decision and all the bribing can stop LOL. The wetting of the bed is a control issue and will go away when he accepts that he does not have primary control, he's just fighting it right now. I think although the bus has some drawbacks (loud, a little unsupervised, etc), I also feel like it's great experience for my girls, to establish independence and to give them different experiences in a real world. Good luck!
my daughter wants to ride the bus, and i refuse to let her. i cant imagine putting my child in that death trap. no seat belts, and every time im behind a school bus, kids are standing up and walking around. i rode the bus when i was in school and i remember people being mean on the bus. i think that i was a little mean on the bus also. do you think that the bus driver cares enough about your child to entrust him with your sons life? probably not. if you are able to pick him up and drop him off, i would not even consider the bus. he wont make friends on the bus, he will just get in fights, and possibly get very hurt if it should crash.
Wetting the bed sounds serious. He is obviously very frightened. Just because the bus driver did not see anything, doesn't mean nothing happened. Bullying is a huge issue in the schools and it starts very early. I would have an honest conversation with him at bedtime with the lights out. This tends to make kids (especially shy ones) less confronted and more open. Ask him about the boys and girls on the bus and if he has any friends. Ask what kinds of things they talk about and if anyone has ever said anything to him that he thought was mean or that he didn't like. Wait until the next night to mention riding it again. Ask the bus driver if it is alright if he sits behind him/her so that they have a good eye on him. Then ask your son how that sounds. you definitely need to balance your son manipulating you into driving you and his true nervousness about a potential bully. Good luck.
I would probably keep taking him too. He isn't going to learn a bit of anything positive on the bus. As an elementary teacher, I have so many students start their day off on the wrong note b/c of bus problems alone--to elliminate that would benifit his school experience. Also, the expectations required of first and second graders and on up is crazy these days. If he is wetting the bed, he has way to much stress for a 7 year old. I would definitely talk to the teacher about it, just to let him/her know. Then look into having him talk to the school counselor about it. Just make sure to remember the real issue of anxiety over the bus issue.
Best wishes to the rest of the school year!
I don't know about your son, but if it were my son (who is only 4 right now)and he was so upset that he wet the bed about it-- I would just keep driving him and start next fall. Who knows why he is upset about riding the bus but if you can take him to school, why fight him on this issue? I have friends who have children around your son's age who started taking the bus and then there were other kids bullying them on the bus (big kids) and they stopped riding as well. To me, 7 is still pretty young for peer confrontation-- again, my oldest is only 4, but that is my opinion. As for sheltering your son-- he will get all the life experience he needs at school-- what difference is riding the bus going to do for him? Now, it would be different if he wanted violin lessons and then started but didn't want to finish- then I would say make him finish what he starts as a lesson-- but riding the bus is not in the same category for me because there are kids of all ages and the bed wetting shows he is anxious about it for some reason (perceived or otherwise).
M.
