Child Misbehaving in School.

D.,

My son is 5 also and started Young 5's this year. What you are describing sounds typical of what I have been observing in his classroom. The Young 5's program at his school is an all day program, but they only go Mon-Wed-every other Friday. I have been helping in his classroom almost every day he has had school (he has had 4 school days) so far this year.

What they are working on is staying in your seat, or staying seated if everyone is sitting on the floor. Walking in single file lines and keeping quiet when in the halls. Lunchroom behavior, and ordering hot lunch (making a choice between 4 different entrees) or cold lunch. Raising your hand when you need help, or want to answer a question. Routines and rules, and learning whats expected of them are the biggest things they are focusing on right now.

All the rules and expectations can be a bit overwhelming for them. There have been many tempers and tears already, just today there were 5 children who lost 3 minutes of "playtime" because they repeatedly would not listen or follow directions. They cried and carried on, and were very dramatic (mine included I'm sorry to say), but they have to learn appropriate behavior and whats expected of them at school. I know they must master this if they want to be successful in school.

I also have a son who started First Grade this year, (he was in Kindergarden last year, and I helped in his class also) Kindergarden was a totally different experience. They expect a lot more from the children in Kindergarden, as they have so many more expectations academically to accomplish over the year (too many if you want my opinion, but I don't set the curriculum) so in Kindergarden they don't always have the luxury of time to cover these basic things. By the end of Kindergarden, they are expected to read and write basic sentences, count to 100 by 1's, and 5's and count to 20 by 2's, and thats just the tip of the iceberg.

If your school offers a Young 5's program I would suggest that you take advantage of it. Give your son that extra year, not only to learn some of these things in a slower paced environment, but also to give him an extra year to mature. I personally believe that boys should be at least 6 before they start school because they aren't ready to sit still for that long.

I wouldn't necessarily punish your son, if hes just not ready its really not his fault. You can talk to him about how important it is that he do what the teacher asks and that he be a good listener.

I also have older children and have a 7th Grader that struggles in school and I really wish a Young 5's program would have been offered to us when he was just starting out. Anything that makes the school experience more positive and successful for the kids, in my opinion is well worth it. Good luck to you and your son and I hoped this helped.

I am somewhat surprised that the teacher made you feel like this behavior is unexpected! I have taught both kindergarten and 1st grade and though he may be young, I have had kids like this every year....no joke! He just needs time to adjust, especailly if he has only been going to pre-school for 6 months before now. I would give him a few weeks at least, and then decide what you want to do. He may just surprise you once he gets the routine down:)

Not many others will probably think this, but I think 5 is very young to start school, especially for a boy. Wait a year and I think you'd see vast improvement. Kids do need structure and routine, but they also need lots of time to play and explore and be outside. Another year of doing just that with some structure as well, would probably help the problem.

Also depending where you live some districts have a young 5 program that I think would prepare him for more structure but not throw him right into the strict structure

Expectations sure have changed. I wouldn't punish him but rather approach it like a problem that needs to be solved, and don't let the teacher make you feel like something's "wrong" with him. He needs to learn to be a good citizen. Thats your and the schools primary job. And K is the start of institutionalized, social group interaction if preschool wasn't. The 1st thing I'd do is get her to talk to you about what she's doing to help him reach that goal. And then get the same language at home to reinforce that its a team effort. There should be consequences for bad choices, but he needs the rules very clearly outlined and needs to be able to agree to follow them before there are melt downs in order for him to be expected to make right choices. If he is young or not ready for the structure, I would definitely consider the alternatives mentioned, but be so careful not to make him feel any change is because he's "bad". That can start a terrible pattern for school success. There are no right ages these days. They can start when they're ready. However, if you suspect he is particularly intelligent, delayed start can eventually lead to boredom. Its not unusual for lack of maturity with advanced intelligence at the young ages. Many are diagnosed ADHD because the brain and body are out of sync. If you do think thats a possibility, I have some books an d websites you could access for advise.

besides being freaked out b/c my name is D. M, I have a boy (5) and a girl 23 months and am also married to my high school sweetheart (but for 10 years). Are we twins?? haha. Anyways, is he in full time or part time K? Maybe a young 5's program would be better suited for him. Also play "school" at home. Encourage him to wait his turn and encourage patience. He'll be ok after some adjustment! Talk to the teacher for other suggestions. , Maybe you could play a game where he has to sit still for increasing amounts of time with a reward at the end of the time frame. I am having K probs too, so this is probably just a time of adjustment for all of them.

Good Luck!
D.

I would not punish him. Is he in am or pm kindergarten? I would run him around and get out as much physical energy as possible before school and work with the teacher to get him settled down.