My daughter is 14 months old and recently at daycare she will cry whenever any other child cries or laughs or they are near her. She never does this when I am around and other children are around. She only attends daycare twice a week but it is so painful for me to hear that this is happening. Why is she doing this? I have her involved with other kids as much as I can when I'm not working and if I am around she is not like that. What can I do?
I have to agree that this too is a little separation anxiety and this too will pass. She is perfectly happy and fine in my presence. She does laugh and play and really observe the other children. She has been there for almost 7 months and I could not be happier with the center. I as a child was also a crier all the way until about 1st grade so I think what goes around comes around. I will keep you updated. Thank you for your advice.
It is totally normal. She is responding to the emotions she sees in her environment. My son did the same thing.
S.,
How long has she been attending daycare. She may be uncomfortable with being around new children and it should wear off overtime. I would not be alarmed by her behaviour, each child is an individual and reacts to situations differently. Some children don't go near others and stay alone. When you are around she feels safe, she has to be used to not having your around as a safety net. Always remember, this will pass. Good Luck.
Hi S.,
This behavior is very common, it could be one of two things or maybe both. It could be that your daughter startles very easily, and when another child laughs loudly or cries loudly it makes her scared and she begins to cry. Or, she is showing signs of being just a very sensitive and compassionate child. Due to the fact that you feel so much emotion about hearing this about your daughter I would tend to believe that you are infact a sensitive & compassionate person, and children are capable of much more than we often give them credit for.
Good luck to you, I hope this will be of some help to you.
Walking in HIS truth & light,
M.
Mother of 2 girls 10 & 13, married for 13 years.
Don't worry about this situation. It will resolve itself, and if it doesn't find another day care provider.
Have you checked out the daycares references really well? Do any of the other children act like that? Is there video cameras at the daycare that monitor the children all day? You never can be too careful.
I just wanted to add that if she is not talking and can't communicate yet you should watch her for signs of other kids being mean to her.I started babysitting my friends daughter who was kicked out of her daycare for biting and the other provider didn't even know she was doing it. The Mom said the other little girl was teething and so if she was fussy that could be why. Then one day she took her daughter home to give her a bath and found bite marks all over her. Up until then my friends daughter was biting her for toys that she wanted and they didn't know because it was not hard enough to leave a mark and because they thought she was teething they just overlooked the fussiness. I babysat her for a year and she bit my son and hit him for just about anything and I was right in the room half the time these things happened. I quit it was too much for me to handle and she is now at a new daycare. Just thought I'd give you something more to check into, it can't hurt to find out more. Your child can't tell you so you have to be her voice!
Hello S.
I have read and was also told that certain ages will cry when other children are crying. My daughter would, and still, cries when people sing in church or happy birthday. I think it could do with a pitch that scares them and mom not being there, safe zone, they feel scared. I don't know if this is true but it is one way to help your mind at ease.
Hi S.!
There could be several ways to look at this:
firstly, It is very normal for a child around this age to start feeling emphatic (spelling?) towards other children. They are starting to move from a very egocentric view and begin seeing other people's feelings as important.
Other than that, she may just have a very shy personality.
The other thing to consider is that she may have some sensory issues. As long as she grows out of them by around 3 years old, that is fine. Just keep up on making sure her language development is where it should be, etc.
Lastly, she may have had a bad or scary experience. It may be nothing big, even just someone startling her. She may associate the close proximity of the children and the laughing with the scare.
One way to deal with it is to have a very small group of people that she would trust and slowly move her into more social situations with more people. Constantly reassure her. You can also send a blankie or a favorite stuffed animal with her to school. One thing I do at my daycare is for the parent to have a family photo laminated so the child can carry it around with him/her.
I think that is it!! Let me know if any of this works!
It could be a little separation anxiety. Have you had her ears and hearing checked? Does she play with others at home. Does she play alone at home?
Does your daughter exhibit sensitivites to other noises or sensations? How does she respond to touch? I don't know how likely it is, but you may want to have her assessed for autism. It doesn't always begin at birth, but when it manifests it seems to be an overload of sensory input--the brain loses or lacks the ability to filter the information coming in, so that the sum total is overwhelming. However, the earlier treatment begins, the better the outcome.
I hope autism is not the cause, but it is certainly something to examine and eliminate. Good luck.
Hi S. -
My son is about 14 1/2 months and he was doing the same thing around other kids his age...whether I was around or not. I was the same...socialized him , took him to play groups, had him around other people etc., but he still did not feel comfortable. I think that it is somewhat part of their personality and also part of a stage they go through. My son does not like when people get in his face and I think he feels more intimidated by other kids b/c they are unstable and not careful like adults are. He is fine with older kids, but skeptical of kids his own age!
Lately though, he has gotten better and I have done nothing different. Sometimes I think, unfortunately, we just have to let kids go through these stages. I can understand that would be tough when they are at daycare, b/c at least if you are there, you can offer support. Maybe your daycare providers could do that for you until this passes? I am sure it will pass soon!
Good luck.
P.S. - my son also does not like it when other kids cry near him. He is very sensitive to it as well. And he is not autistic. SOme kids are just more sensitive to loud noises and activity around them. She could just be a more sensitive child, like my son.
