Character Development

Try and get involved in what classes they sign up for in school. Make suggestions like "you would be good at acting, maybe you can take that theater/acting class" or "I think you would really enjoy taking that photography class". There are many different classes that lead to extra curricular activities. Like for example getting involved in a theater class might encourage your teen to try out for the school musical or play. There are so many classes offered at schools these days that lead to other activities such as sports, the outdoors, music, etc...
N. B.

Hi R.,

Just a thought: Are you asking them these questions when your at home, or are you taking them somewhere?
If possible, it's always best to get out on your own with one of them, have fun and then you can ask some questions during that time.
They may not seem receptive to the thought at first if you haven't been doing this for awhile. Just look for something they might like (it may not be the same thing you would choose, but you usually can't go wrong with fast food and a movie of some sort).
If they aren't interested in that, try just getting involved in their world first, sit down and play a video game with them (again, this may not be your favorite thing to do, it's getting into their world).
Also I agree with the open ended questions. Very hard for teens. Once you've gotten into their world a little bit, you'll be able to sculpt your questions a little better.

Hope that helps. :)

You can't ask a teenager and open ended question like those. They just won't have an answer. It's better to ask specific questions. like how are you doing in math, do you like your english teacher, what day do you have gym, what songs are you singing in chorus....etc etc. You will get a much better response with specific questions. I'm sure you have an idea of what they are interested in, video games, comic books, a specific musician, sports person, actor etc. Read up on those topics and that will also be a good way to start a conversation. Teens like to talk about what they are interested in.
Good luck!

I have a 11 yr old son and a 3 yr old son. I used to work at a high school in Houston, Texas. I can tell you that by talking about your teenage yrs and about friends you had and have will help them talk to you about what they like to do or what to be in the future. I would tell my kids at the school about places I went to and concerts I went to with my friends and they like to hear that at one point I was cool just like them. That makes them want to share things with you and maybe concerns that they might not know how to deal with. It will help you understand them and give them the trust they want to share things with you. I hope you understand my point and hopefully it will help you some. Good luck!!!!

Oh this one seems like everyone goes through it no matter what the age of the children. The secret is to not ask what their doing or what they did in school. You have to ask the questions to where it would seem interesting to them to answer. Example: not what did you do in school today but ask a question about a certain subject or class. asking what happened at school is such a wide range or area it sometimes seems impossable to pinpoint what your asking. I have 2 grown daughters and yes it was same thing What did you do in school tody. Nothing... I also have a 7 yr old son who after having the girls i learned it is more rewarding to get a good answer if you ask the better question. Seems simple? just ask a more specific question. I also found it was easier if i became involved in my girls everyday things while they were in school. Who there friends were, what boys they liked what classes they enjoyed. See it goes on and on. The better the question the better and more the answers you will recieve. Try it ...good luck

i would suggest offering suggestions or re-phrasing your question with "multiple choice" answers. also, use situations and circumstances to prompt conversations. for instance, instead of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" maybe sometime when you're at the post office with them, or watching a movie, or whereever, ask "would being a postmaster be interesting for you?" or "does acting seem like a good career?"
just some thoughts. good luck!

I can relate well with your dilema. My oldest that is now 22yr.old has never in my mind "found his niche". He never really was interested in much of anything(not even video games, that was a good thing). My youngest has had a life plan since he was in the third grade, and at 19 yrs. old is fullfilling that dream. The only advice I can give is to maybe try different things yourself with your childeren on a one to one basis. Maybe something you can introduce them to will wake something up in them. Some new stuff may work as a group, but I found with my boys it became such a competition that if one did not do so well at something he would give up on trying something else. Good luck and I hope you get something to work with from others.

When my children were young I got them involved in different things in the summer it was swim teams, fall football, league swimming, photography in high school, FFA, mechanics, welding
horseback riding, dance,life guarding, etc. the only condition was they had to do it for a year or for however long it lasted. This helped them to explore and build there self confidence. There are all kinds of opportunites offered in the schools. Hope this helps.
S.