Almost 6 Year Old Son Is Not Interested in Any Sports

Maybe boy scouts or an art class, cooking class? There's so many cool classes, rather than sports.

There is a community college by me that offers technology classes to younger kids. My son learned how to build rockets then they shot them off. He had the best time. They also teach how to make video games and build robots. Maybe you can look into that.

But overall he's still very young, there is no need to worry; some kids just arent into sports or it comes to them later on. Organized sports for kids that age are pretty boring. There's a lot of waiting and standing around.

He may just be too young to be interested in organized sports yet. It doesn't mean he's lazy. I would lighten up and try again next year or the year after.

And remember that all of the other children you're comparing him to? Yeah, that might be the ONLY activity that they're interested in and their parents just might be forcing it on them as well.

He's just not an athletic kid. Try other things that he may like that don't require sports. Maybe an instrument? Look towards museums see if they offer any type of tech programs for kids. Some college's do so shop around.

Kids don't need to play sports to be well rounded.

My 5 year old girl will dance and sing and swim her heart out, but get her near sports and its like she is being burned alive. She dislikes being in anything like it. My 3 year old is a CHAMPION couch potato and I doubt she will be in much either around that age that requires a TON of physical activity. She is a artist. My 2 year old boy, who knows he may specialize in demolition I am sure he will let me know when the time comes. Kids have preferences too and it takes time to find them.

I don't believe in forcing kids to finish out a season in anything that's non-competitive to join -- if he didn't have to try out to get on the team and he isn't taking up a spot that could have gone to someone else, then I don't think it is healthy to make him continue. After all, if you joined a recreational art class and you really didn't like it, would you force yourself to continue just because? If he's made a commitment and people are counting on him, that's one thing, but no one's counting on a six-year-old.

And I don't mean this to sound insulting, because I've done it with my kids, too -- but when did we, as a society, become so focused on "signing kids up" for things, "putting them in" things? When we were kids, we played! We enjoyed being a kid! They will have commitments their entire life. Why does he have to be motivated to do sports right now? I tried for several years and then realized it was my problem, not theirs. It was my need to compete with other families, to do what other families were doing, classic "keeping up with the Joneses," which you are, I think, experiencing, too ("It's so embarrassing and frustrating because as I look around at other kids his age, they are all listening, paying attention and at least trying. ") It's not who he is right now. Honor that. Allow that. He will have more self-confidence and motivation if it comes from within. Instead of signing him up for teams, let him do a couple of fun day camps over the summer -- he may find something he really likes. But if he doesn't, so what? He's not lazy! He's 6!

Take care that you aren't equating being a boy with liking sports.

He might be interested in individual sports rather than team sports. Or he just might not be athletic. In a few years he might like sports like tennis, golf or fencing or archery, when he has more focus.

Let him try other activities; you've tried sports for now so let it go for now. Look at your local city/county parks and recreation department, YMCAs, YWCAs, and other resources for classes etc. in art for kids, drama for kids, dance for kids--yes, boys can dance! Or sign him up for short-term classes or camps by kid-friendly places like "Mad Science" or other kid science franchises that are (I promise!) a ton of fun. Even kids who aren't into academics still like to make things fly or make things ooze goo, and that's what a good kids' science place does....There are local Lego clubs where kids get together to build things....Even local libraries now sponsor things like Pokemon "leagues" where kids play the card games associated with things like Pokemon and several other popular videos/characters. (It's not video gaming, it's kids playing games, and there should be adults present as monitors.)

In other words, don't limit your ideas of possible activities to sports. And don't limit sports to the typical ones you list.

You mention "I want him to do what he likes" but do you truly know what he likes other than video games? You need to work with him and find someplace he wants to be and something he wants to try, rather than cycling him through the local sports that are readily available. You'll have to do more research and legwork to find creative options that aren't more sports but you may be helping your child find what really turns him on. Whatever you and he choose, be sure he gets enough classes or sessions to really taste it and learn to improve his skills, but not so many that he feels he's locked into that activity forever and ever. Six- or 10-week class sessions are the norm for many programs through parks and recreation departments or recreation centers and that's a good length of time to try something but not be locked in for, say, the rest of the school year.

At only five, he is going to be too young for the age limit on some of these activities; you may be expecting too much from him in terms of activities at his age. Sure, some kids at five are already playing soccer multiple times a week but others at his age have no extracurricular activities yet, and that is just fine too.

Keep limiting the video games as you do now; that's wise of you!

One last thing. Some kids need more down time than others; if he's not playing video games, as long as he's doing something in his weekday down time (reading, drawing, building with Legos or other building sets, etc.) that is creative and calming to him, don't discourage that in favor of sports that don't interest him; let him have that time. If he just wanders aimlessly during down time, yes, help him find some outlet. But again -- he is five and still likely wants someone to play WITH him and still wants to be silly in a group setting. That's fine. The answer here may be a new activity or it may really be no activity at all.

Why are YOU embarrassed because he doesn't want to be there? This has nothing to do with you. If he doesn't like it then let him do something else. At his age I imagine he'd rather be out running around in the park, playing tag and learning how to ride his bike. There's no need to sign him up for anything, just turn off the TV and take him to the park, to the pool, or for a hike. Or just send him outside to play.

Maybe his thing just isn't organized activities. Which is not to say that you shouldn't take him to the park, ride bikes, throw a ball in the yard, but if he's not the organized sport type, do something else. I don't like exercise if I'm stuck on a treadmill, but I'll happily hike 2 miles through the woods. So maybe do something else for physical activity vs a class. I didn't do a lot of classes growing up and I don't have DD in dance or the fiftybillion things that are common for kids her age in our area. She has preschool, she has other activities around town, she has friends. That's good for us/her.

The other thing you might want to do is not sign him up for anything that is very long and if he signs up, he has to finish. My SD has tried a number of things, but she has always finished the class, be it 4 or 8 weeks. We paid. She goes. So before you sign him up, make sure he knows he's not going to the 2nd practice and laying on the mat to get out of it. He's going for the duration or he doesn't start at all. If he needs to be pulled out, do it only at the coach's request unless there's a big problem with him (a bully or something). You might also talk to the coach to get his/her POV. I bet your son is not the only kid that has done that.

You can also work on his fortitude with smaller projects. Build a fort or model. Put together puzzles. Finish a board game or a chapter book. Help him see the rewards for effort and build up.

You've gotten some great responses so far!

I have 2 boys, 8 and 15, and neither of them are into team sports, even now, but they aren't lazy either. We live on a farm, and they are always outside doing chores, jumping on the trampoline, or just running around doing whatever interests them. They are both very active.

My oldest isn't interested in sports at all. He's entirely academic. He does like to be on the computer, writing software, and doing things that are way beyond me. Most people would find the things he does on the computer to be extremely boring. He doesn't spend too much time on the computer.

My youngest likes to watch sports with my husband, so he may develop an interest in playing team sports someday, but right now he sticks with golf. He loves golf! Legos are his true passion, though. ;)

Both boys love swimming, and so do I. Playing with pets takes up much of our time, too.

As long as your son isn't sitting around all day without being imaginative or getting any physical activity, he's probably doing just fine. :)

When my daughter was 5 I signed her up for soccer. She was miserable...and her dad was even coaching. She spent most the time picking weeds in the field.

She was also in dance at the time and while she liked it enough her heart was not in it either. She continued dance at 6 years old while I had not tried her in another sport at all even after some friends tried to get me to sign her up for tball.

Then over the summer right before she turned 7 I put her in gymnastics and since then I've found gymnastics is her thing. She loves it and even decided to do that instead of dance.

She also just recently decided to try a basketball clinic and so far seems to like that also.

My point...give him time.

My son isn't into organized sports. He just wants to play. Organized sports is not playing - it's organized. He might not be into it. My son loves video games, BUT he also loves going to the play places or parks and just playing with other kids, so that's what we do.

Your son is only 5 - seriously, let him be a kid and play the way he likes to play. Stop trying to make him like the other kids and find ways that he enjoys to be active.

maybe he just doesn't like sports? Have you looked into art classes? Music lessons? or maybe he would do better with martial arts rather than a team sport? Not everyone is athletic. My daughter is almost 8 and she does not like sports at all. We tried dance, she hated it. Gymnastics, hated it. Swimming, she LOVES to swim, but hates lessons and teams. We had her signed up for a cheerleading class through our county, the class got cancelled because there wasn't enough enrollment, so she asked if she could do a pottery class instead. I was a little surprised at first because she is very active and has a ton of energy, but she loves art. So, I signed her up and she starts tomorrow morning.
If he only wants to play video games and nothing else, maybe limit it. Instead of saying "only on the weekends" because then he will play it all day long on the weekends, say he can only play it for 1 hour a day. We have to do that with our son who is 5 and loves lego batman, lol! The rest of the time (besides school) he is playing outside or playing with his toys or we are out doing stuff. He is also on a wresting team and doesn't like it anymore, so once the season is over, we will not have him do it anymore.

So, why does he have to do sports?

Exercise is important. Sports are just one way to make that happen. And while sports are great for kids with some athletic ability, the kids who might make the team win, they're pretty godawful for kids on the opposite end of the continuum, the ones at risk of making the whole team lose.

I'd just advise you to insist on physical activity, but give him total leeway on how that happens. My own (distinctly unathletic) son is doing well at a karate dojo because it's noncompetitive. We've also found a soccer program through a local synagogue that focuses on personal growth and gratitude, and really downplays winning and losing. There's also biking, hiking, all the outdoor stuff.

On the video games, yay you for restricting it to weekends. If it's all he seems to care about, though, you might have to restrict it even further -- say to one day rather than two, or only so many hours (or minutes) per weekend day. Alternatively, this other part of me wants to say, if he has to play them, consider getting him one of those Kinetix things, where the kids have to move around to play the games. Then, your exercise issue is solved.

Reminds me of my 2nd GS. He was on soccer teams and baseball teams. He was never really interested - it's what his dad wanted him to do. He was more in to playing around on the field and didn't really pay attention to the game. He just wasn't interested in playing sports.

Maybe your son isn't either. Not ALL boys like sports.

Try taking him into the kitchen and see if he's interested in cooking. Or everyone get a bike and see if he like bike riding. Organized sports are NOT the only game in town. There are plenty of other things that your son can do to get exercise. Challenge him to a fast-walk race or try rollerblading or skating.

If you stop expecting your son to be like everyone else, you won't be so frustrated. Accept him for who HE is and try to find out what makes HIM tick!

This is why I didn't start our son in taekwondo till he was about 8 years old.
Before then he was too young to listen to instructions and pay attention for very long.
Also, with many team sports - one or two people on the team are doing things while the rest of the team waits for something to happen.
It's largely very boring.
It's great you limit the video games - stay on that - only on weekends and only one or two hours per day.
The games are easy to master, but while they are playing them they are just sitting there and they need to run and play and ride bikes and be outside instead of becoming couch potatoes.
The next few years will be very busy with learning to read and write.
Take a break from the activities for awhile and come back to it in a few years.
It'll all be different with a few more years under his belt.

Some kids just aren't into sports!
Before you ditch the idea, try seeing if he might be interested in some
other sport (basketball, baseball). The easiest way to do that is get out
there w/him yourself. Take your son to the park w/a basketball & try to
shoot some baskets. Pitch a few softballs to him etc.
Sports just might not be his thing.
Also, he could be too young yet.

In addition, try to see if he might be interested in other things like tae
dwondo etc.

Let HIM pick something that interests him. He may develop other
interests as he ages.

Just limit his video game playing to an hour during the week at night then
more time on the weekends.

One more thing, try to get active as a family: go for walks around the
neighborhood, go for short hikes near your home (it doesn't have to be
far or up in the woods...they have trails everywhere now), go to the park
and shoot hoops for fun.

Hey Mama! How frustrating for you! Maybe if you break this up into two parts it will help. First issue is that your little guy is having a tough time finding something he really likes or feels comfortable doing. The second piece is that he has a hard time dealing with it appropriately when he gets there. How does he handle doing things he doesn't want to do at home or school? Maybe stay clear of organized activities for a while and set up group playdates to help him deal with a group setting. Also, anytime he acts up inappropriately in the face of having to do something he doesn't
want to do (chores...) I would have a consequence. But please take off any pressure you feel to get him into activities. I think there is too much pressure on parents to get kids into things before they aare ready. Blessings!

A kid does not have to do sports.
Girl or boy.

Try art classes?
Or music classes?
Or he is just too young to "want" to do "classes" right now.
Its fine.
It doesn't matter what other kids his age are doing.

And per the video games, you/your Husband just have to have RULES about it. You allow it on the weekends, but so that is kinda ambiguous. Does that mean ALL weekend at ALL hours they can play it? Or just in the morning? Or afternoons? or when?
With a young kid, you have to be specific. Tell him "you can play for 1/2 hour...." then do something else. Have him help you in the house, do chores, go to the park and play, go hiking, do gardening, do things outside.
The parent takes the lead.

My son is 6. He, when younger, did NOT want to do all those "sports" activities all the other little boys or his friends were doing. He is athletic but did not want to. He is not and was not interested in soccer or all those other sports offered to kids this age. Not even martial arts like his sister takes. BUT one day HE told us, he wants to take Tennis. And so we enrolled him. He was then 6 at the time. And he REALLY loves it. HE chose it. HE tells us "this is MY sport..." and he is proud. And he does well and was even asked to be on a Team by a Tennis Coach.
He found his niche. For now.

I honestly don't get why modern kids HAVE to be in umpteenth activities. He's 5. Let him be a kid. Kids today are way too over scheduled and have forgotten how to relax, or use their imaginations. It's sad. Sorry for the rant, but it just bugs me.

Not all kids like group/team activities and not all kids like sports. Wait a bit and try something totally different.

Not all kids are into team sports or even organized sports. It may be that he'll really enjoy roller blading, biking, or hiking as he gets older. Those things are all social - but not neccessarily team based. Many kids will try things if you're doing them - so go for family hikes, trying riding your bikes around the block, play frisbee together, go to your local Y and get int he pool together. There are definite advantages to team sports as kids learn how to work as a team, and other valuable lessons. However, not all adults in their working life need those skill and based on their inborn personalities they will probably not be the person who works in a team-type career.

We didn't have any video games in the house until my son was about 8. At that point he always clearly preferred video games - so much stimulation and action! My son NEVER wanted to go to practice. And 6 is young - it's really to young to be good at any sports yet - so it's frustrating. If you can, try to coach him in the basics of the sport. So with Tball - get a cheap T at the toy store and play in your backyard to help him improve. Encourage him, show him the right way and give him respect as his skills improve. As his skills improve he'll feel more confident and will be more willing to participate.

My son played soccer (didn't like it after a few seasons), football (really liked it as a youngster but stopped in 7th grade) and still enjoys baseball and basketball. His reason for not liking football had to to with the fact that he's a big kid (has always been taller than all the other kids in his grade) so he was always on the line and never got his hands on the ball so it was boring. But with baseball and basketball every kid gets to contribute to the game. My husband helps him improve his skills by taking him to a batting cage so he feels confident when he gets up to bat, etc.

As for wandering around and laying down on the mat - let's face it at age 6 it's really boring to sit still and watch other kids play the sport. They want to be doing - not watching. At age 6 in soccer practice, my son used to wander over to the playground when he wasn't on the field. The coach would be tryint to get his attention from the field and I would chase him back to the field. But think about it, if your kid isn't out on the field how intersted are you in watching the game/scrimmage/practice? ANd he's 6 - he has zero interest unless he's the one rolling around on the mat.

They NEVER want to go to practice. See if he enjoys the game and if so then insist he go to practice. It's not an option in our house. In the many years my two teens played team sports there was only one season that we stopped midway and that was lacrosse in my son's first year becuase he HATED it. Oh well!

Not all boys, or girls for that matter like sports. And he is quite young.
My oldest hated it all until he hit about 10. He's been playing baseball since then and loves it. But thats the only sport!
He hated football, soccer, wrestling you name it.
Maybe he's just not a sports kid. Or maybe just not yet.
Have you tried art classes? Swimming? Some kind of music?
If video games you really feel are an issue. Elimnate them completely. We all survived w/ out them as kids right? How much do you let him play on the weekends? A couple hours or the whole weekend?
Regardless, give him time. And take cues from him!

Don't worry about what the other kids (or parents) are doing. They have worries that you don't know anything about.

Not all boys (or all girls) are interested in sports. But your son doesn't sound lazy to me. He sounds uncertain. He tries something and thinks, "Wow - I don't know if I can succeed at this like the other kids are doing," so he lies down or he gets funny. I know grownups who do that, too. Different children mature on different time schedules.

(Side note: My older son has a black belt in taekwondo. He put his oldest daughter into taekwondo classes when she was about four and a half. After a few weeks, the master said, "She's not ready yet. Give her more time." So my son pulled her out. After about a year and a half she tried it again and was able to focus in the classes. She's almost twelve now and she enjoys it greatly. She may never be a champion, but she has fun and it's healthy for her.)

How about forgetting the organized sports for a while? Tell your boy he doesn't have to learn any sport for this season, but he DOES have to do healthy stuff, and that means running around and playing in the fresh air every day. He can swing or climb or bike-ride or whatever he likes, alone or with his buddies, as long as it's done. That's his "sport" for right now, and he can make it a fun one. Maybe he'll even come up with ideas for good things to do, and you can encourage those.

This is the thing about the video games, and it applies to adults as well as children: it's another world where you're the boss. It can be hard to go from that fantasy world to the real world - where you're just a kid. You might want to change your video game routine from the weekend to, say, fifteen minutes per day. He gets to play in the fantasy world for just a few minutes, but the real one is the important one and the best one for him.

Have you exposed your almost-six-year-old to music or art? Some children who can't get into team sports like individual sports instead, but others find they have a greater interest in learning violin or piano or what to do with a hunk of clay or a jar of paint.

So don't put him in sports.

What video games is he playing? Is he playing games that you can equate back to real life? My daughter was - she was playing barbie.com, so we got her build-your-own fashion kits, and building houses on video games - we bought her more elaborate lego sets. Racing games? You can buy pinecar derby kits at craft stores. So instead of putting him in sports, maybe find activities that correlate to the video games he likes, if you can. Or get him harder video games, so that if he's playing, he's at least having to work at it. If he's really, really interested in the video games, then he'll keep working at them, even if they're hard. Then you get that work ethic you seem to be looking for, too.

Maybe rather than a team sport you could get him involved in physical activity another way. Swimming, running etc.

other than that I would suggest that maybe if you change up the game time a little it might make a difference. If you only allow him to play video on the weekends (not judging here just suggesting a different way to do same thing) then maybe allow him a half hour each day instead. that way he won't feel like his is missing his video time. that may be part of the problem.

At 5, he may simply be a little young for organized group sports. If you are concerned about his activity level, now may be a time to encourage gaining individual skills, such as swimming or riding a bike.

My dad was a high school football coach and track coach for over 30 years. He said that starting early didn't really help kids to be better athletes. Starting when the child was well-coordinated enough and motivated enough to succeed (he recommended around age 9) brought greater benefits and decreased the chance of repetitive stress injuries.

About the video games - maybe it's time to give them a "time out" for a month or so, for everyone in the house (including grown-ups). If the adults are easily distracted by their electronic devices, put those in "time out", too. It's hard for kids to discover new interests when the games are so compelling. While you're enjoying your video time out, take your kids places and do things together as a family to look for new interests. Try archery, or bowling, or skating, or skiing. Go to a few museums. Visit the library. Go and take in a live music performance or two. Do some art or cooking together. Don't leave your kids sitting around waiting to get their games back, or you'll reinforce to them that video games are the most interesting thing they could be doing with their time. Show them what other great choices there are out there for how to use their time. Let them see you and your husband exploring new things to do and using your free time to be active.

I agree with the majority...that maybe he just doesn't like sports so don't push him into things he hates. But I also resonate with you wanting him to be active.

I strongly believe that kids must learn that being active is part of a healthy life. Daily exercise is important for health. I don't care which sports or activities my kids choose (I have four); I sign them up for things they are willing to try and see if they stick. If my kids don't enjoy it, that's fine, we'll try something else. For example, my six year old wasn't interested in swimming lessons, so I took her ice skating one day, and she loved it, and she is looking forward to starting skating lessons next week.

What kind of role models are you and his dad? Are you active? If not, that makes things even harder for your son. But alternatively, you could find a role model or respected older kid or neighbor who is active, plays outside, and hopefully your son can find some joy in activity.

At 5 years old, I think he may just be young for organized sports. Some kids are ready at that age, while some kids not until a later age. The instructor and how the practice is run also have a lot to do with it, if the instruction isn't appropriate for the age level some kids will lose interest. I was into sports as a kid, but not until 3rd or 4th grade really...and my husband the same thing, 4th or 5th grade and he ended up playing sports in college and beyond. You might try an individual sport to start, like swimming lessons.

I bring my 4 year old to soccer, some days he's into it while others he acts silly and doesn't participate. I have to remind myself that he's still so young. He's better off running around the field with a soccer ball and his parents than being thrown into such an organized activity right now.

I let my kids watch cartoons on an IPad, it's fine in moderation but it got to the point where they would ask for it ALL the time. I had to take it away completely for awhile, they got over it and went back to playing with their toys and outside. Maybe do away with all the video games for awhile.

My son was like this a little bit. He was more interested in sitting and building stuff with his Legos - if I let him I know he would sit for hours and do that! He would, however, run around and play outside and was active but never really interested in organized sports and that was fine with me. In grade school he did one or two years of soft ball and now in high school he's done tennis all four years.

What really got him active and interested in a lot more was Cub Scouts and then Boy Scouts. He loved all the activities they did and the camping, etc. He really stuck with it - without being pushed - and I'm proud to say is an Eagle Scout!!

As for motivation - does he have a dog? That was easy for me just to say your dog needs exercise and he'd go out and run around with him. Other than that I would just get him interested in playing outside kicking a ball or playing frisbee with him or riding a bike instead of organized sports - worked for us!

Good luck!!

It isn't lazy to dislike sports.

My kids are both in karate. They choose to not compete in tournaments. They both love to read and they like to swim (for fun, not sport). My older son is also in chess club at school. The younger one is in a club that promotes education about special needs and how to be of service. The younger likes to play outside building forts and riding his scooter. The older one is learning computer programming as a hobby.

They have interests. They just are not competitive sport interests.

My husband's interests in high school were saxophone, improv theater, and creative writing. Mine were concert choir, art, and photography. As you can see, our kids do not come from sporty-genes. :-)

Are you writing about your son or mine? Mine is 8 and is still exactly the same way. I will be reading your answers for sure! The one thing that I have found is that he does better at individual sports than team ones. However, wrestling is an individual sport so I guess it might not apply in your scenario but maybe he would like a different individual sport? My son has recently told me he wants to do golf... we will see.

Make another activity a requirement for the video games. Give him a list of activities, include team play, solo play, and something artistic, to choose from and tell him he will have access to the games as long as he participates. No participation, no video games.

My son is the same way! We tried soccer for about a month, and every single time another kid took the ball, he would dramatically fall down on the grass and wail.

His favorite activity so far has been gymnastics. He was the only boy in his particular class, but I think that made it all the more fun. They have a trampoline and a rope swing and he would never want to leave those 2 stations.

I also agree in making them finish, but at some point your punishing yourself more than anything. If everybody's miserable, it's not worth it!