Changing Your Child's Name

I'd let it alone for now. In less than 3 years, if she wants, she can take steps as an adult to legally change her name. In the meantime, she can try on the name socially and see how it works out.

Can she go by her middle name? I've known a few people, including a cousin, who did this. I just think that it seems like a major change.

when i was a kid i wished i had a unique name. as an adult i have to say that i'm a bit baffled by the huge groundswell, that's lasted decades now, of finding a 'unique' name. spelling things weirdly. adding silent syllables.
like the absolute horror of finding one's name on a souvenir mug would mean that you're just ordinary and have nothing special about you.
sorry. mini rant.
changing one's name isn't a big deal. it IS a PITA because you spend the rest of your life having to explain it on Official Documents of all sorts.
lots and lots of people have nicknames that they use to the point that their 'real' names are mostly forgotten. i'd just start having her use the name you all like, and let her change it legally when she's an adult if she wants to.
khairete
S.

While I completely respect and admire your decision to honor your daughter's wishes, I would just say this. She is a minor. Fifteen is way too young to make legal decisions. Call her whatever you (all) want in the mean time but leave it up to HER to make the call (and do all the leg work!) when she turns eighteen. Chances are she will have come up with at least five more names by then.

Name changes are relatively straightforward. You should google your county courthouse and "name changes".... or call them, someone will direct you.

They take the request and the fee, give you a court date, and they usually take it from there. Someone will post the name change in the Public Notifications in the newspaper. On the day of the court date, show up, they usually just run through everyone who wants a name change in order. It's likely they won't deny your daughter unless the paperwork isn't complete. After that, you do need to fix your daughter's paper trail. A new birth certificate will be issued; you will need to go to the social security office and present proof of name change; once that is done, if she has a learner's permit or ID from the DMV, that needs to be dealt with. Ditto bank and any other accounts held in her name. (Think any college accounts, etc).

Medical accounts/doctors' office/insurance also need to be notified.
And she should keep the documents handy to explain why her SSN has another name on it.

My kid could change his name when he is either emancipated or grown. This way they get a full understanding of what kind of a pain this could be.

I know of a person that had his name legally changed when he was 16 years old. He was a junior but his father was such an @ss to him he couldn't endure it any longer. He took the steps of getting emancipated and also changed his name. He's famous now and enjoying the fruit of his hard work and not looking back at who he was but could carve a new path for himself based on his new name with no ties to daddy dearest.

Let you daughter do it when she is grown.

I wanted to change my name when I was 13 but I've since grown to fall in love with my name and myself. I wouldn't change my first name for all the money in the world.

My sister changed hers at 52. It was hell! Please change it now before she starts having more things in her name. I totally disagree with those who say to wait. Other than her schooling, she has little in her name and hasn't yet started to sign legal documents. It will be much harder after she starts to drive next year and starts working and having taxes taken out. Do it now.

Eta - I also disagree that kids always do this - I have always hated my name and regret not changing it - my kids love their names, even my teen. We've had lots of conversations about names in our house and it always surprises me that they do.

My SD's last name has been legally changed twice. When you get a new name, you can get a new social security card in that name, which is one clean form of documentation. She can then get a state-issued ID or driver's license in her new name and as an adult, those are usually the only two forms of ID required for identification and employment (and/or a passport for travel, which would also be issued in her new name).

If her birth certificate were required for anything, which is very rare as an adult once you have those other forms of ID, she would need to present that with a copy of the court order for her name change.

It was definitely more of a pain when SD was younger as there were more instances (school, sports) where proof of age was required and birth certificate was her only documentation for that, so we had to present her birth certificate, the first court order and the second court order. She got a state ID (non-driver's license) at 14 to make it easier to travel via plane with her friend's family and we've been able to use that as her primary ID for all sorts of things ever since.

As others have mentioned, many people go by a completely different name without legally changing it. I used to work in HR/payroll and was surprised to learn the legal names of many of my employees. Most of my Chinese or Vietnamese employees went by random American names that they had chosen and many of my Hispanic employees went by their middle names or completely different names. I had a roommate in college whose boyfriend and his 3 brothers all had the same name and then they all went by different names (he was Diego, which was not his middle name).

Anyway...I would let her try it on for a while and see if she really likes it and then she can change it if she wants to.

My grandaughter started using a different name in 9th grade. School records list her as new name legal name. I've worked with legal names. I know of one person, an adult who changed his name in court. The many others who use a different name socially keep their birth name as their legal name. Over time with use, their social name becomes a part of their legal name. Records show both names. Not birth records but credit records, driver license records, graduation and school records, etc.

My granddaughter has used her birth last name, and the last names of her mom's two husbands. She's back to using her birth last name. She and her mom use the "new" name when registering each year. Schools have all the names she's used. Never been a problem.

I suggest you not legally change her name now. Wait until she's an adult. Teen years are for exploring different possibilities. She may like a different name better once she's an adult. She may devide to keep her birth name. A y number of possibilities. She can use any first name she wants now without the confusion of correcting her name on records such as birth certificate. She can always use that name without changing it in court. I've been involved with hundreds of people who use a different name than the one on their birth certificate. When filling out paper work they list the name as a nickname or include the birth name as an aka also known as. She can keep her social secutity number. There won't be confusion if she fills out papers with her legal name. The people I know of have no problems using a different first name. Lots of people go by Nick names.

It's enough to keep track of changes from maiden name to married name.
If she ever goes for a security clearance she'll still have to list her original name (and all aliases).
If you change it now her school records will show the change but at least her diploma would have her new name.
If I were you I'd leave it alone.
If she wants to change it as an adult or if/when she marries then she can handle it at that point.

No reason to legally change it now. Have her start using it what she likes now may or may not be so great to her in 5 or 10 years. I use my middle name socially since 16. Always loved it but now with social media and everyone being searchable on the Internet I wish it was less unique. She can tell people it's a nickname or middle name. Lots of nicknames don't make sense to the actual name.

For an adult, it's not a big deal. For a child, I would let her chose her name and use it as a nickname for now and if she still likes it in a couple of years she can do a legal name change to make it all hers. My SD goes by a nickname 95% of the time. Only time her "real" name comes up is on official paperwork. If my DH was not on board, I would respect that, frankly.

Your local courts can tell you how. I changed my last name as an adult and it was a few simple forms and a fee. All online.

ETA: Sue is right. One of the guys I work with is really Robert but goes by Tony, and most people with Chinese names go by an Americanized nickname. I had a friend who didn't like her name and gave herself totally unrelated initials - just letters she liked.

My daughter is almost 12 and decides on a regular basis what name she would like more, it's totally normal for this age - and your daughter's age too. If you truly didn't like her name at birth I'm sure it would have been something different. None of my kids have very common names, but they aren't very off the wall either and we have run into a few others with their names. Either way, they are staying.

No one spells my daughter's name right the first time - especially at Starbucks! One spelling she liked so much she was legitimately upset we didn't spell it that way - ha! All we could do was laugh.

So I say wait, let her see if she still wants that name in 3 years when she is 18. If she does, then go for it.

I have a friend from college who changed her name during college. She never liked her birth name and found one which felt right, so she took it. It has been her formal name since then, and I barely can remember her original name. I don't know how her parents felt about it, but I'm glad you all are on board with your daughter's new choice.

Since she is a minor, I think you (her parents) would have to do the legal paperwork to change it. There are two pieces: the legal impacts of name change and the social ones. I imagine that there will be some issues with her friends having to get used to calling her by a different name, but ultimately I think they would get used to it. What if she did a testdrive of the new name--started going by the new name at home with you and with her friends? She can see whether it fits and whether you all want to move forward with the formal process.

In terms of the legal part, aside from school records, social security, and doctors, she doesn't have a lot of formal documents that would be affected by the change. She has never had a driver's license in her birth name, nor has she had an adult passport in it. It's not that late in the game, comparatively speaking. It probably won't be a huge hassle. Good luck with it!

I think I would let her try the new name out for a while before legally changing it. When she meets people, she can just introduce herself with the new name and on the first day of school when they call attendance, she can say "I go by XXX". If she still wants the name when she's a senior in high school, I'd change it at that time so that starting with her high school graduation, everything is in the same name.

I do have a friend who, in high school, changed the name she goes by, but she didn't do it legally. She just started introducing herself by the new name. Those of us who knew her for many years had a hard time switching, but in college and thereafter, everyone knew her only by the new name.

First, anyone can go by any name they chose without a legal name change, except for government issued documents - driver's license, soc sec card, etc. Many people do this. I didn't realize how many until I worked as an HR manager and had to submit legal documents and saw how many did not match the name on their resume/job app/what they asked to be called.

But, my ex-husband changed his first and middle names. He was given his father's name at birth and didn't want it anymore. It is a fairly simple process, but varies by state. In MN you fill out paperwork and submit it and get assigned a court date. The court action took about 10 minutes and it's a done deal. They mainly want you to swear you aren't doing it to commit fraud. Because he was an adult who had a house and other assets, he had to do the "name change" thing for each of those things. He also keeps a copy of the court document handy for things that may require proof. It's really not been a big deal, no more than a woman changing her last name at marriage or divorce.

You/she would get a legal document and anything requiring her to show her birth certificate would need her to show her name change legal document as well.

I seriously considered changing my first name for the reasons you state, (really Mom? Susan Kay seemed original??) but didn't get up the nerve to do it. Sometimes still wish I had, but seems too late now.

I would imagine her documentation would be her court docs.

My mom hated her first name so she removed the first two letters of her name.then she really didn't like that so she goes by her middle name. She didn't like the common a at the end, so she removed that. It is all reflected on her drivers license. She just laughs and says she just did it.

There was a girl that went to school with me that changed her name. Her stepfather adopted her so she took his last name and decided to change her 1st name too. For some reason the kids started avoiding her. I guess it was because we didn't understand why she would change her 1st name. No one would call her by her new name because we were used to the old name and probably to irritate her.

I think I would let her wait until she is an adult and make the decision then. I didn't like my name because some people wouldn't or couldn't say it right but now I don't care. Your feelings usually change when you get older. Good luck

I know women who had one name in HS and switched it at some point during or shortly after.

I am not sure if they did it legally. Often they pick the middle name or just go by the preferred name.

I am guilty of calling them by their original name. She might have a hard time getting current friends to switch vs new friends. I would recommend doing it when she moves to a new group such as HS or College. This about your grade school friends and how many once went by Billy or Joey and now you need remember to say Will or Joseph.

I made up my daughters name, it was a typo that I liked. She is 15 and the only one we have ever heard although when I put it fb a few come up in other countries.

My sons name however is the same situation as you. Since I made up my daughters, I wanted his to be unique. I couldn't think of one on my own but started to play with last names as first names and we decided on one we loved. Never heard any kid in CA called that but when we moved to AZ, there are a TON!

I think your daughter is old enough to change it if she wants. As long as everyone is on board, I don't see the big deal and can't think of any problems in the future but I don't know of anyone who has done it. Good luck!

Can she use her middle name?