Cell Phone Usage

I never controlled my kids cell phone usage but they got good to excellent grades. It it was good to fair it would be an issue I addressed.

My kids did high school sports and student government while still maintaining their grades and cell phone usage.

Sounds pretty normal for a 14 year old!

Pretty normal, but she does need to follow social rules. No phone messaging texting or calls during meals or after 10:00 pm. No cell phone during school hours. At all of our daughters schools, if you are caught using your cell phone on during school hours, it is confiscated till the parent or guardian come to campus to reclaim it with the srudent.

No cell phones out at Church, movies.. etc.. Yes, texting in a movie is just like talking.. Here in Austin if you are at the movies a Symphony, Ballet or Play, you can be asked to leave with no refund.. Really.

If she is keeping up with her school work chores.. etc.. then it is really not a problem.. especially since you were smart to get unlimited on your plan.

yes, it's normal, but it sucks.

I have found that the younger the kid....the more the phone usage. It can slow down....if you recommend it!

sounds like my son. But he has a trac fone, so when he is out he is out. Until he gets it again... every two weeks 120 mins.

Since you have unlimited, I would make the rule that once home from school, the phone goes off at dinner time and doesn't get turned on until the next day. Unless she needs help with homework or something school related only.

I also limit him to 1-2 hrs on the computer after homework and supper is done.

That's how it is in our house.. when he has minutes on his phone. :)

That's normal.

As long as you have a family plan, so it's not costing you a fortune, and she does well in school and has extracurricular activities -- don't worry about it. That's how they communicate these days.

Remember when you were a kid and you would not get off the telephone? You parents were worried sick that you talked to much on the telephone??

Now it is texting and cell phone.

I have a 16 yr old. We don't use many of our minutes at all for talking but we both are sky high on texting which is unlimited.

Even when your stepdaughter answers or receives a text with "yeah". ":)" , etc it counts as a text so it is not like she is texting long essays. It is probably short texts which add up fast.

I think as long as grades are up, she is active in extracurriculars and it is not cutting into daily life as in making her withdraw, etc. that she is ok.

Make sure you communicate about this so she knows your concern and you can understand where she is coming from.

Good luck!

Unfortunately, it's normal...

There are things you can do to combat it...

1. make her pay for the texts...unlimited or no, you have the plan for her and 22K is just a ton!!! that tells me she's not getting her work done.

2. Remind her or ask your pediatrician to tell her the hazards of it...there are kids who are having problems with carpal tunnel as well as thumb problems because of excessive texting..

3. Make her give you her cell phone after 9PM...if someone calls our home after 9PM? It BETTER be an emergency. My kids are not allowed to "chat" on the phone after 9PM...

4. Make one night a week a family night. Cell phone, computer and house phone free...focus on the family..if she can't do that - then she can't have her cell phone...she is part of a family and must participate.

I would keep the lines of communication open.
DO NOT use words like "YOU are..." use "I feel"...because the minute you put "YOU ARE" in the sentence - defenses go up and she's a teenager...so communication is EVER important!!!

GOOD LUCK!!

That would drive me batty. I thought it was a girl thing until I read the other responses here. I have a 13 year old son who doesn't even turn his phone on most days. He rarely uses it. The computer is a different story, and we limit how much he can be on the computer. My 13 year old niece is constantly on her phone though.

Anyway, the responses here seem to be pretty divided, and I don't think there is a "right" way to handle it. She is getting good grades and is involved in extra-curriculars, but I would have a problem with it anyway. I would never allow the phone to be on during meals, or during any family activity, and the phone would have to be off and left in the kitchen or some other family area whenever she goes to bed. We made those rules when my son got his phone last year, but I doubt he even remembers the rules since the phone is so seldom on.

Good luck with your decision, and enjoy your daughter. Teens are fun; I know - I teach high school. :)

The only concern is her keeping the phone near her head. Make sure she has a hands-free (look up the recent studies on cell phone risk, especially in children). But it sounds COMPLETELY normal. When my stepdaughter moved in with us, her first birthday present was her own phone line (this was before cell phones were common). I remembered how my mom would complain that she had lost all her friends because they couldn't get through, and did it out of self preservation! (I was a teen before call waiting and voicemail were common)

I don't have a teen/tween and texting was not around when I was her age. But OMG 22 THOUSAND?? Sounds crazy. I don't want to freak you out, but I watched a movie the other night "Trust"with Clive Owen about tween texting and online chat sites. Basically a sexual predator got to Cive Owen's daughter and lied to her and it was a very scary-thought movie. I am so glad my neice (age 10) does not have a phone (yet?). So just make sure your step daughter is not chatting with people she does not know. And IMO, make sure she knows how to have a normal conversation with people. Kids now-adyas don't know normal english only text and they avoid difficult conversations, deciding to text instead.

Every child needs to learn self control. This is a teachable moment but I would be careful you mentioned step child.