Can Someone Help Me Snap Out of This ? - Sorry - Pretty Long

Take a deep breath and pick ONE thing that you would like to try and do differently. When you start listing out all of the things you want to change it can seem like too much to tackle at once.

I do not suffer from depression, but I remember having a conversation with my husband about 3 years ago along the lines you are describing. I felt like we never went out with friends, I wasn't finding time to exercise, I wasn't finding time to read anymore or do the things I enjoyed before having a family. I spent all of my time working or being a "wife and mother"- somewhere "I" got lost.

His response was pretty simple... what's stopping you? I just assumed that he wanted certain things or had certain expectations of me, but I was wrong. I wanted 30 minutes a day to exercise. Great! He played with our son each night after dinner so I could get on the treadmill or go for a walk. I wanted to spend more time with grown-ups, so he stopped rolling his eyes when people invited us to go somewhere and went along. I wanted to get back to church consistently, so he started getting things done on Saturday so we could.

This didn't all happen at once, but after I started reclaiming some time to myself, I felt better and moved on to another thing. The funny thing is that I used to get frustrated with my husband for taking 30-45 minutes each night to do something quiet and now I realize that was is a genius! He knew what he needed to "reset" and made sure that he found time to do so.

Talk with your husband and see what you can do. Taking a 30 minute walk at night doesn't cost a dime. Bring your cross stitch with you so you have something to do while your son is in therapy. If the time comes that you can free up some cash, take a course at a community college or enroll in a free class at your local library.

It takes planning and communication with your spouse, but you need to MAKE time during the day for yourself!

Well, if you were nearby, you could come and see my friend, who is dying at home. She recently (days ago--while she had the strength) had to have O.-on-ones with her kids telling them goodbye and how much she loves them...

I guess what I'm stating is...be glad you HAVE a life to manage!

Prioritize your life. (Church? Free! Go!)
Hug your kid(s)!
Kiss your husband!

when you're overwhelmed it's easy to get paralyzed. so let's just look at things you've got listed here. exercise, crafts, church, career, reading and money.
first, prioritize.
then find ONE thing to change. do it consistently for 2 weeks. once you've got that in a groove, and you've got the flush of success going on from doing something positive for yourself, you can pick another thing.
but don't try to do too much at once, you'll spiral back to the Bad Place again.
i'd start with either exercise or church. either or both will probably benefit you at least as much as upping your meds (and i'm glad you're wise enough to take them if you need them!)
let's do church. it's just once a week. commit to doing THAT and let the rest go for now. once you're back in a regular worship groove, you can start going on a 20 minute brisk walk once a week. with those 2 small changes you'll probably start feeling better, and as if you can do more. maybe you'll start reading the bible or some devotional literature a couple of times a week in addition to church. maybe you can fit in another walk or two. your kids can walk with you, or you can fit it into your husband's schedule as your own 'me' time.
after you've tackled these issues you'll be in a much better state of mind to make bigger decisions like going back to school or work, or restructuring your family budget to make more room in it. but don't do those yet. they're too big, too easy to let them paralyze you again.
small steps, hon. you can do it!
khairete
S.

The best remedy for any kind of funk is vigorous exercise. I just sent a depressed friend on a five mile run yesterday and he came back much happier.

You don't need a lot of money or time for a good work out - 1/2 hour and a jump rope in front of your house or on a back patio can work wonders, although to really feel the endorphins, I suggest 40+ minutes. Can't do anything about the finances, unfortunately.

As Nike says, just do it.

I think in this DFW heat, it's easy to find ourselves feeling down. My husband has had the blues too.

Don't be too hard on yourself. If you are being treated for depression, it's not like it's something you can just "snap out of". Life gets rough for everyone, but for people who struggle with depression, the weight of it seems impossible sometimes (I know first hand).

Time for YOU should be a priority. I just had this conversation with hubby last night. He feels guilty because he wants to start working out every day to pull himself out of his funk. He feels depressed & fat. So I told him, this family can make it so that he can take an hour every day for himself to go to the gym. He felt guilty about that, but I would rather have a healthy husband for one hour less per day, than an unhealthy, unhappy husband. And, it's worth the expense.

For you, the time you take for yourself to read, to decompress, and even to work out and lose the weight you've been wanting to lose, isn't a burden to your family, because when you feel better, so do they.

Also, as a fairly new Christian, I can tell you that going to church should be on the top of your list. When we have HIM in our life, things just seem... better. We feel stronger. Problems are such problematic. The good things are more fantastic than ever. Sweet is sweeter.

Give yourself a break. In this heat, I want to crawl in a hole and die.

Hey, PM me if you ever need an ear. I'm close by. :)

Realize that this is not WHO you are - this is a season of life you're going through. Just like when you drive down the highway there are parts under construction that are more bumpy and narrow than other parts. It's not forever and it will end. Also, like the part of the road under construction, there might be a place that you can get off and relax or take a different route.
Having been t hrough some really tough times in my life and having come out of them I know that it's temporary. The tough times don't define me. I know that even if the worst happened - disabilty, job loss, divorce, death of a loved one, I'd still be able to get through the rough stuff and get to the other side becuase I've done it before.

You will get to the other side. Try to pop the kids in the stroller and go for a walk. Or put an exercise show on and you and the kids do zumba together. You may find it not only to be fun, but you'll get your endorphins flowing. Try fish oil too - there's all kinds of studies shwoing it to help with depression. Then pray - or before you try everything else pray. Many Bible scholars says that DAvid and Elijah and maybe even PAul suffered from depression - so yo're in good company. If men that were special to God, that He used in powerful ways suffered with depression, maybe God is forming you in to something awesome for a powerful purpose.

Praying for you mama.

First, I am not sure why you are not able to go to church....But, set your alarm---get up, get dressed and take your kids with you and GO to church! Talk to the ladies, get some support, ask for prayer, find a friend etc. Talk to people and get out and do something. Its not too late to go back to school. Apply and get financial aid :)

You seem to definitely be in a downward spiral--so its time to pull yourself out of it. Write out a personal affirmation for yourself and read it aloud several times a day. Post it everywhere. It will help you in so many ways. Best wishes and ask your Dr for a referral to a therapist--alot do sliding scales for their fees.

All I can say is I know how you feel. My girlfriend and I were just talking about this yesterday as we are both in a funk and feel either we are expected to do better than we are or we are putting that on ourselves. Really, just knowing we are both in a funk at the same time makes us feel a little bit better. This feeling comes and goes for me - unfortunately now I am in it and I know shortly I will be out of it. I hope you get to feeling better soon!

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You need to give yourself some grace and not beat yourself up so much. This season of life is hard juggling kids, work, bills and trying to find time for hobbies.
I love my church too and without it, I would be a mess. I would look into counseling that is available there because it is free or will be a very minimal fee. Also see about any activities like a women's bible study in the evening or on Saturday that is offered. You need to be fed with God's word to help you get through these moments that make you less inspired. Even if you can't find a group to do this, take time out of your day somewhere to read the bible or get a daily devotional to help lift you up and then meditate on those words and talk to God. He hears you and when you quiet yourself, He will speak to you as well.
For exercise just start moving more and eating less. I hear ya on this one. I didn't gain a lot of weight with my pregnancies, but what I did gain I have gained back and then some putting me at my highest weight ever. Focus on making healthier habits you can stick with. Join a bootcamp, jazzercize or do yoga. Groupon and other sites like it are always offering specials for such things to get them at a very discounted rate. If you can't do that just get out for a walk or run and workout with exercise dvd's.
If you desire going back to school, then check into some programs online or at a community college. Look into some financial assistance opportunities for help. Don't beat yourself up for not finishing college. It is one of those commitments that has to come when you are fully ready to commit to it. That doesn't mean you have to drop everything else to do it. Good luck!
HTH,
A.

A counselor will be your best option. Can you go to a church to talk to a pastor? There are places that do income based for therapy. Or insurance should cover most of it.

I went a few weeks ago because I feel like a lot of things are out of control in my life as well. It was $25. My husband and I start counseling tonight to work on the trust and communication issues we have - two big ones! They will be $25 each time we go. Can someone in your family help you?

Bad idea, but can you get a loan to get you on your feet? I recommend that as a LAST resort...

But otherwise, try to take some time for you and be thankful for what you have. It sounds like you really need to just brreathe.

God bless.

Can your family downsize to help a little with the money worries? Getting rid of a car payment, smaller house/apartment, no cable, etc. can really help with some of that.

Would pay as a teacher assistant be comparable to what you get paid now?

I know its so hot out now - but when it cools down a little - can you go on family walks? I'm lucky enough to live within walking distance to the playground so that's a good evening option. My husband and I also enjoy (once we make ourselves do it) getting out and walking with the family after dinner.

In addition to church every week you really need to start exercising!!! And you don't need money to do this at home - walk, run, sit ups, push ups, lunges, squats, get a workout DVD - start yoga. It will not only help your weight issue, but you will have more energy and once you get over the initial hump of a few days to two weeks in the beginning when working out is hard (its hard for everyone at first when they haven't been working out regularly no matter how fit so don't be discouraged it gets much easier!) you will have a natural endorphin rush when you exercise that will last you into your day. You must treat your body right and it starts naturally with food and exercise - not just upping meds!