Hello, i study in russia and i have been with bf for 5years and we stay together,we both are going to graduate in 10 months and when i finally asked him the reason why he does not want to commit, he for the first time said it was because of money!!he said where is he suppose to get the money for marriage from ?!and where is suppose to get a place to stay from!!in exactly 10 months he will have to leave Russia and go back to his own country!!!the only solution he came up with was:: me waiting for him for 1 year and half!!because by than he will already have money from his job!!!but the problem is i just cant do long distance relationship!!we are already away now for a month and its killing me and i just cant go for a year without seeing him plus i dont think it will work!! plus if i go with him to his country than where am i suppose to stay ?!because he stays at his mom and his mom has issues so it will be difficult to stay with her!?please is there anyone that can help with suggestion?
:(:(.....yes its d same bf i had wrote about before...i almost broke up with him but he said that he is sorry and stuff and he wants to be with me!
Ummm, isn't this the same boyfriend that you have caught having "sex chats" with other woman? The same one you wrote about on here a week ago and everyone told you that you should break up with and not give a second thought? What happened to what everyone had to say then?
Be thankful he was honest and move on without him❤
If you can't be away from him for a year and a half ... then no matter how much you love him, your heart/mind is telling you that either this is not the man for you to marry, or that you yourself are not ready for marriage.
He may be passionately in love with you, and completely committed... but from a culture where one does NOT enter into marriage without a stable life to offer his bride / show the respect a stable life will provide to her family. He would feel himself a feckless boy instead of a man capable of providing.
OR
He may be trying to tell you that he does not want to marry you. That the past 5 years have been a wonderful learning experience, but that he does not feel that you are the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
2 such very different answers, I know, are hard.
Best of luck to you, however your life shapes.
HI, L.:
Are y'all in Russia now?
If he is worried about money and that is his reason not to commit, let him go.
It sounds like you are in love but he isn't.
Get your education and come home.
Cry yourself to sleep at night and move on.
Good luck.
D.
L., this young man is not ready to commit. Perhaps because of money, but more likely because he's just not ready to marry. He may have been staying in the relationship with you because it was more convenient than finding his own place without you. If he were really, really committed to you, he would be moving heaven and earth to find a way you could stay together.
My suggestion is that you face the truth. He has moved on, and until you accept that, your heart will stay chained to a man who doesn't even exist. At least not as you picture him. Your ideal of him lives only in your head.
Take whatever time you need to grieve this loss. Women have been losing men they love for the whole history of humanity. And we survive it. And then, often, when we have made peace with it and gone on with our lives, somebody comes along who is even better for us. This has happened to almost every woman I've ever known. Including me.
You can go a year without him. You can go a whole lifetime without him. It's up to you to make your life better, starting with the reality of it, right now. You can do this.
As hard as it is, let him go and move on. You need to be with someone who makes the effort to be with you. Makes it important to him. Don't follow someone around who says whatever it takes to make you always be there for him. You deserve better.
