so my daughter is 14 months, and a couple weeks ago we said goodbye to the binky. it was time for it to go since she was always waking up in the night crying not being able to find it. so far with it gone she's been fine. she definitely seems a little extra whiny at times, but mostly things have been good. her naps have gotten way shorter, she'll wake up after an hour and just cries, not able to get back to sleep. i don't mind her naps changing, but now she's started waking up in the night SCREAMING. there is no way anyone else in the family could possibly even try to sleep through this if we were just going to let her cry it out, so that is not an option. BUT WHAT DO I DO? we want the screaming to stop, and quite frankly i'm sick of getting jolted out of sleep at 3 am scared to death by her wailing. She has little 'woobie' blankets that she loves, and a couple stuffed animals she's had since we brought her home, so she's not lacking any 'transitional items'.
where do we go from here? how will she learn to self-soothe and go back to sleep on her own?
PS. after she was no longer eating in the middle of the night, and so long as it was just 'waking up' we've never gotten her out of bed. i always just went in there, rubbed her tummy or back, gave her back the binky, and walked out. it's always worked, and i know that's a lot more than some people get so maybe we're just spoiled. the past few nights she hasn't woken up at all hours screaming, but she has woken up at 5ish, and i've managed to get her to go back to sleep, it's just kinda aggravating.
like most of you have already said, we might just have to wait it out.
Yes I agree, she will have to cry this out. You can come in and let her know you are there, but she has to stay in bed. She will go to sleep and it won't take to many sleepless nights. Yes, no one else will sleep, but that is part of being a family.
ooh, I guess you probably can't go back on the "no binky" thing now... but that is exactly why our 19 mo old still has the "binky" (in our house it's a "baba"). I can't believe I have let her have it this long. But your post reminded me why- any time she wakes up too early from the nap or at 4 am crying, we just pop the baba in her mouth and we're good to go. Yes it gets lost every night. I have about 3 lined up on the dresser when I put her to bed so I don't have to go searching for it in the middle of the night; I just toss a new one her way.
For the record, I would not think you were a bad parent if you let her have it back just for sleeping... I am all about doing what is easiest on everyone.
Sorry this doesn't really help with what you specifically asked! Good luck, I know exactly what you are talking about with the convenience of pacifiers.
If nothing else works, you need to let her cry it out. Yes, your family won't get much sleep for a week or so, but she won't cry all night, and eventually she will realize you aren't coming in and she'll stop. We did that with both our kids (although they were 6 mos.) and it's the best thing we've ever done. For us it only took one night, but the older they get, the longer it takes. Good luck!
A., she could possibly be having "night terrors" -- not at all related to the removal of the binky. My best friend's daughter had them terribly at night and the screaming would last for quite a long time (literally an hour). I would do a little online research about the terrors to get ideas on how to handle them. I just read some research that they are genetic. Best of luck to you!!
I don't think you have many options. Let her cry it out or give it to her at night.
My son is 18 months and we've been only giving him the pacifier for naps and bedtime for quite awhile. I was just about to start taking it completely, when his "pointy" teeth (aka canines, eye teeth, cuspids) started coming in. The bink really seems to help him deal with the teething pain. On bad days, I would even let him have it during the day. I know we might go through a rough time later, but I wanted him to have the comfort while he's teething. Gosh, I really don't have any advice for you, but just wanted you there are a lot of us thinking about how to handle "bye bye binky!" It's definitely a process and it seems to be a little different for every child. Good luck!
How did you wean your other two kids from their "soothie" (paci or thumb)?
Could your daughter be teething at the same time? With my son we never had any issues with teething...he just drooled like crazy. With my daughter we have all the symptoms from diarrhea to middle of the night wakings with crying. My daughter is 19 months and her two bottom eye teeth are breaking skin right now so she has been getting up around 4 am every morning. She cries for a few minutes, then sucks her thumb, then goes back to sleep for about 20 minutes, then cries again and repeats the cycle and eventually gets up around 7am.
Maybe the paci soothes her teething gums? And now with it gone, she has nothing to soothe that pain? That's why she was getting up in the middle of night crying for it in the first place? One of my friends used to duct tape a paci to her daughters blanket so it wouldn't get lost at night. That worked for them.
As for the self soothing...she will only learn that by you teaching it to her. Both of my kids for the most part will self soothe. We taught them early on. With my son we started at 4 months when he first started sleeping through the night. With my daughter she started at 3 months when she first started sleeping through the night.
For the next couple of weeks you may just have to let her cry it out. I know when we first moved, it took my son 3 weeks of crying it out to get used to sleeping in the new house. We used the graduated style. The first week we knew he was truly afraid by the type of cry that he used. But by week 2, we knew he was just trying to get attention at night since his cry changed to a more whiney cry. So that's when we started the gradutated CIO method. We would let him cry for 10 mins before checking on him the first night. Then 15 minutes the 2nd night. We kept adding 5 minutes each night. Trust me there were some pretty tough nights where he would basically cry for hours on end even with us checking in on him and soothing him. But at 3 weeks, he eventually would just pass out. Then the crying pretty much stopped immediately once he figured out that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be coming into to play with him in the middle of the night. My son was about 13 months old at the time.
Good Luck!
Hello A.... okay, this solution worked for me..
I put a clock radio with soothing music. It can be soft country, christian rock, christmas carols or even instumental. Create a calm bedroom. Also, the "glow" worm works really well. She can press it in the middle of the night to light up. It doesnt make noise to wake up the house. Also, get a teddy bear that has a pull cord bottom (infant section at Target or wal-mart) the kind where half the body is a pull, and it will play music at her command.
It worked for us.
M.
Since you got rid of the binky because it was inconvenient and she could never find it on her own at night... why didn't you just put SEVERAL in her crib with her? That is what we used to do with my son. It worked. By this age, you just show them, "explain" and they will know. But yes, at some point, the binky-bye-bye period ends and everyone is different. Or yes, as Bergen said... just give her the Binky at night or for naps... many parents do this option too.
Maybe her sleep issues right now is just a coincidence... but maybe she is actually going through "night terrors." It usually comes up around this age... it is purely developmental and a phase. Look it up online, it is not as "horrid" as it sounds. BUT, it's normal. I would really consider this. If it is "night-terrors"... she can't just stop it at will, nor will other methods "stop" it... it is developmental and it can happen on and off throughout this age. BOTH my kids had this too.
Or, maybe she is just over-tired... over-tired kids tend to NOT sleep well, wake more, and are fussier when waking or if waking during the night... as you said, her naps have gotten "shorter" now without her binky... so she IS probably more tired than usual...AND her "usual" sleep pattern got disrupted.
Not only did her binky go away, but now, her sleep/naps are shorter and she wakes more and cannot go back to sleep as well... so maybe she is just too darn over-tired by this point.
Tired sleepy kids are just grumpy when waking.... my daughter is like that. It takes her time to transition out of the haze so to speak, before she is in the real world with us.
Self-soothing is attained... not all kids are good at it, nor do it. My first born would NOT self-soothe, and believe me I tried EVERYTHING and researched it tons. And, she would wake up SCREAMING and shrieking too. But me, I co-slept and she was nursed.
My 2nd born on the other hand, self-soothes no problem and is much more less clingy. Each kid is different with different abilities. If it were so simple, all kids would be self-soothing and sleeping without a hitch.
And, well, some kids are just more "oral" and this soothes them. My son is like that. Even in the womb, a baby will self-soothe too, by sucking their fingers. It's just an instinct.
Sorry, I don't have any answers concretely. But it may just be a combination of things... which MANY times, is it. It is rarely just "1" thing that is tweaking a child.
Good luck,
Susan
It might be too early for her to give up her Binky. I attach my son's binky to his PJ's, up by his shoulder. That way he never looses it during the night. My oldest son gave up his binky when he was big enough to want to give it to the "Binky Fairy" in exchange for a new toy.
