", But I Can't Hold It Any More!"

I wouldn't let the kids go on anywhere that could possibly be considered public or private property not belonging to you. There are strict sanitation codes and if you got caught you could be hit with some hefty fines. Just saying.

When my girls do this I make them wait until we reach where we're going as long as it's within 10 or 15 minutes. If it's going to be a long ride then we stop at a Dunkin Donuts to use the bathroom and then I get myself a drink as a reward. :-) My girls are prone to UTI's and bladder infections and my eldest gets kidney reflux so I have reason not to make them wait for long. It's just not healthy.

I am a country girl myself and I see no reason why your daughter cannot learn to go outside if you are ok with the boys doing it. Maybe after a few "nature calls" she may decide that she can hold it after all.

It also might be a bladder infection if she truely cannot hold it very long.

Why can an 11 year old not hold it? Is this a medical issue? If she has JUST used the bathroom 15 minutes prior, there should be no reason she can't hold it if everything is functioning normally. My two year old can hold it for 20 minutes if need be (no, we don't do this often, it just happened that we were stuck in traffic once on the freeway and there was no other choice).
I tell my children before we leave the house, "Use the potty, because I'm not stopping. If you need to go again, you'll have to wait till we get to our destination." And I stick to it. I don't give them anything to drink right before we leave, or in the car. They can have a drink when we arrive where we're going.

I taught my daughter to squat at a young age. She can and will if it is truly an emergency. If boys can, girls can, too!

The crazy thing is, normally she can hold it for hours! I'm the one who always has to go!

There is a folding product called the PeeMate that allows a woman to pee standing up. About 30 years ago I had something like it for hiking, but it was more like a plastic cup with a tube. On Amazon.com you can search for GoGirl, Freshette, Urinelle or pStyle, all accessories for hikers. Your girl might like one.
http://www.femalefreedom.ca/

Rule out any physical ailments, anxiety, UTI, bladder infections.
Say we are going to Walmart, target, wherever, it will take so many minutes and I will not stop.
Then don;t stop.
Bring a friend with you and the potty chair , when she or he wants to potty pulll out the old potty chair.
My daughter has a weak bladder. She also knows that I will not stop, even on long hauls, 1-2 hours or so up to DC. So with me she can hold it. With daddy all she has to do is whimper and he will stop. We also live out in the country.

Are they actually peeing, or just running in and sitting on the toilet before you head out? Does someone in your family have a tiny bladder and this is genetic?:) I ask these questions gently, but I do have to ask. I have known one kid who did need a potty stop every 15 minutes sometimes, but fortunately, he was just stopping play and running to the bathroom. (We were at school.)

I think your eldest can understand why it's important to use the bathroom at home. My hard lesson suggestion would be to have them use the bathroom and give them the information: we will be in the car from here until X and we aren't stopping until we get there. Unless they are tanking up on liquids in the hour beforehand, this shouldn't be too hard of a challenge to get 15-30 minutes away. And yes, teach your daughter how to squat. I've found having no underwear on and wearing a longer (not mini, not immodest) skirt to be helpful for this. Trying not to hit the underpants is the hardest part!

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can she hold it and pee whenever you get to where you're driving to? almost every where has a toilet. as for why it's okay for the brothers and not her, it's not too hard to understand that. they have a little hose that makes it so much easier and modest! when i was little, i remember squatting by the side of the road at times becaue we were on a long road trip and i couldn't wait anymore, but typically, waiting for a potty was the best bet. it's normal, though. needing to pee depends on when they last took a drink! so maybe no drinks 30-35 minutes before departure time if you want no pee-ers:-)