Potty Training Issue for 2 1/2 Year Old Boy

Updated on February 09, 2008
S.A. asks from Bowie, MD
21 answers

My son is 2 1/2 and we have started trying to potty train, but not too seriously. In the last several weeks, he has started holding his pee so that he often doesn't go all day and then when he takes a nap or does decide to go, he pees so much that it seeps out of his diaper. I am not sure why he does this. He drinks plenty of fluids so it is not that and when he does finally go, he pees a ton. I don't think it is good for him to hold his pee like this and it is a huge pain because when he does go and it seeps out of his diaper it gets all over his clothes too. Any thoughts or suggestions on this?

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi,
I started with my daugher when her "window" was open for being potty trained. I took out the potty from the bathroom to the room where she and I were the most - the family room and placed it on a vaxed table cloth with a rack of magazies next to it. It took her some time to get used to it, but as soon as I new she was on her way to "go" I took of her pull-up and placed her on her potty. Then I would sit down in front of her and read books or just chit-chat about everything. It was a great experience for her and soon enough did she go all by herself, at that time did she also want to try the toilet so I got her a step-stool from IKEA and a seat from Target, and on the way she was.
Just to let you know. Boys and girls brains develop in differently so can it take some extra time for boys to be potty trained - it's normal.
Good Luck,
L.

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe it's time to get serious on the potty training. He may be holding it b/c he doesn't want to pee in his pants then when he can't hold it any more or he takes a nap it just comes out. If he is not rejecting the potty then there is no reason not to start him. He is at that age and my ped said one major sign that they are ready is if they don't want to pee or poop in their pants or are begging to have their diaper changed. My son still runs from the diaper changes...NOT ready!

Good Luck!

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G.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S. A. Please dont fret! My little boy is about to turn three and we just went through potty training last month. He did the very same thing. He drank lots of fluids, but would 'hold' his pee all day- he even went nearly 16 hours once without peeing and I started to get nervous! Then, when he did go (during nap or sleep) it was way too much for his diaper and his bed would be soaked!I think especially for boys it can be one of the typical parts of potty training. We removed the diapers completely during all waking hours (be ready for accidents- we rolled up our rugs), and he did pee a couple of times on the floor, then really started to hold it more to avoid peeing on the floor! To help, we brought the potty to him. We put the potty in the living room, and let him sit on it while he was distracted by his favorite TV show/DVD. He would sit until his little legs got numb, I would have him stand up a bit, for a break, then sit him back down to keep trying.Eventually he started to pee in the potty. Within a couple of days he was going like a champ always on the potty, and within a week on the toilet every time. He has been diaper free for a month now, and has not quite turned three. It was really only about one week of difficulty in the end. I hope this helps! Don't give up...if he is ready, it WILL work! The first couple of days cleaning up the accidents are the worst, it should get better from there!

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T.T.

answers from Dover on

Hi, I have potty trianed two of my sons so far, and from my experience, the boys really have to be ready and willing to potty train. They are lazy when it comes to this because it is easier to wear a diaper, and especially for boys, it is difficult to accept change. I would reccomend leaving him in the nude, or from the waist down all day. I did this with my boys, and eventually they caught on to running to the bathroom to go number one. Another suggestion, which did not work for my sons, is putting cheerios or fruit loops in the toilet bowl and asking them to aim for the circle, or adding food color to watch the water change color when they pee. Did any of this help?
Some boys just seem to be ready earlier than others. Good luck, T.

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A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My little guy would do this too in the beginning of potty training. I think it is really about control. Toddlers have little they can control in life so they grab on to what they can!! The first day he held it from when he woke up until 6pm!! this showed us he could control his bladder which was a plus! From there we just had to work on the struggle of him being strong willed about it. We put him in underwear from the first day. No pull-ups except at night.
We do not ask him throughout the day as recommended by a pp. If that works for you, go for it. My feeling was if I had to do that, he wasn't truly ready to potty train b/c it would be me that was potty training. Instead, he has to go at designated times-upon waking in the morning, before nap, after nap and before bed. He goes in between if he needs to but usually those times are enough.
I read once that you can potty train in one day IF you pick the right day meaning that if a child is ready it shouldn't be months and months of nagging them to go. We told him one day that little boys who were almost three stopped wearing diapers as of that day (This was in Nov and he will be 3 this month)and we never put a diaper on him again but we knew he was ready because he was showing all the signs (asking to be changed, telling us when he was going, waking from nap and bedtime dry, etc.). good luck! I think most boys aren't potty trained until 3!

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A.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi,
I have 2 girls and they both were out of their diapers by 22 months. I know that's rare, but some kids are like that. Just hate the wet diaper feeling. I think you should not worry about it, he'll get the hang of it on his terms, but perhaps you could let him run around naked in the house or in real underwear!!!!! And give him something very special, when he does sit on the potty or toilet......(even if he doesn't do anything)..... If he think it's a fun thing to do, and he gets a reward for it, and if you don't pressure him, so there is no trauma of the toilet, he will do it I think. Or maybe get him to do it outside? Water a bush??? I don't know, I'm a girl mom.....Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Dover on

I am not sure if my experience is the same, but my daughter (now 5), while potty training, did not pee very often either. And when she did...it was a ton, like what a grown up would do! But, she still does that. I have decided that is just the way she is, she has a strong bladder or something, and doesn't have to go as often as a parent would think they should. It was horrible during potty training, when there was an accident, because it wasn't like normal kids having an accident, where it would just wet their pants...it would be like a flood. Was always a big mess, luckily...she potty trained quickly. (Probably because of that!). I wouldn't worry so much, maybe your son is similar in that aspect.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey Stephanie, my advice is get him out of the diapers and into underwear. Don't even use pull-ups. They are so used to the diapers that it doesn't bother them at all when they go to the bathroom. Let me tell you - you will have several messes to clean up so make sure you have Resolve carpet cleaner. Once they are in underwear and when they go pea in ther panties, they don't like it so much because they are completely wet. Stay close to your son throughout the day and get to know his signals before going to the bathroom. When you see those signals, rush him to the bathroom and after about a week of this, he will be doing A LOT better. I started training my daughter at 2 and a week and a half later - she was potty trained. Trust me - it works. The key is to get them in real underwear and continue to tell him that he is a big boy now. Also, you could do a sticker chart, everytime he goes potty in the toilet, he gets a sticker and after so many stickers, he gets a "prize" or "treat." Something like that, but a reward system usually works great as well. Hope this works for ya! Good luck and remember to stay positive, don't let him see any frustration because it will only discourage him. Have fun!

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J.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you heard of the book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day?" I used that book on my daughter and now on my 2 1/2 year old son. I really like the method the book uses. Its all psychological. It sounds like your son is nervous about going on the potty. He needs to be able to sit there and relax. The book didn't suggest this, but my son has been with holding his bowel movements and the way I've over come that is by giving him a toy magazine. That's been helping. I'm not saying that's a cure all. I think the method described in that book may help him with what I'm guessing is a fear of the potty.

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh boy potty training!! It sounds like he is scared of giving up is comfort of diapers. It helps to take them with you when you go so they can see it is normal to release their bodily fluids. It also helps if a male will show him. I have four children from the age of 3 to 9 and they all potty trained at different times. One thing I learned is that its not acturally training. They will do it when they want to and to make them when they are not ready will only make them resentful. (I did this with my second child he is now 7 but he didn't completely use the bathroom until he was 3 1/2.)Its all trial and error. My youngest son just decided one day he was going to go and did right before he was two. I didn't do anything but make sure he made it to the potty when he said he had to go. You may want to try and only put him in underwear for an hour a day, and take him to the potty every 15 minutes. If he makes through the hour praise him. Then next time make it a little longer. This may make him warm up to the idea and not have to hold it all day. Good luck if you have any more questions Let me know! C. D.

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, I potty trained my oldest son at 2 1/2 also, he's now 5. Here's my advice:

Ask your son every half hour if he needs to go potty, and if he tells you no, tell him you'd like him to try anyways. Take him into the bathroom and stand with him while he tries. If he's not interested you could try something fun, like float some cheerios in the bowl and have him try to sink them. This only works if he's standing. My mistake with my son was assuming that sitting would be easier for starting off, but he wanted to stand like his dad, let your son pick his method. If he does go, you can wait for an hour before asking him again. Also when he does go, reward him with something he loves. With my son it was these fruit gel sticks made from real fruit juice that he adored and we made them his special potty treat. If your son loves fruit snacks (I always recommend the ones made from real fruit juice, but pick something he already loves) then you can use those. The trick here is to make his favorite treat a "potty only treat". Once I wanted to potty train my son I made it clear that he had to go peepee in the potty to get his favorite treat. He wouldn't get it at any other time. He was potty trained in two days. You just really have to stay on top of it and be consistent with asking him if he needs to go potty and having him try anyways. This helps teach him what it feels like when he needs to go potty and it also teaches him to pay attention to his body.

The most important thing you can do is stay calm and not make a huge deal out of it. Kids can be notoriously gun shy and if you make too big a deal out of it, he could freeze. Just keep your cool and be consistant and he'll get the hang of it.

Hang in there and remember no kid ever went to college in diapers. :)

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

It's definitely not good for him to hold it. When my daughter was potty training, she would get so involved with playing that she wouldn't say she had to go until it was almost too late and she would barely (if at all) make it to the potty. She ended up getting a pretty terrible UTI, peed the bed about 5 times that first night on the antibiotics, and screamed with pain every time. It was a nightmare. Afterwards we had to have an ultrasound of her kidney's/bladder etc to make sure all was in working order. The doc recommended that I rip her out of playtime every so often and make her go. Make her sit on the potty if nothing else, with rewards if she is able to perform, and not getting disappointed or angry if she doesn't. Good luck!

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C.J.

answers from Washington DC on

After having to start & stop potty training with my son 3 times, I'd tell you to hold off. Boys just need to be older. My son is all trained now, but will still hold it unless I walk him into the bathroom. He used to tell me he was scared. Well, now I have another boy, so I get to do it all over again!

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N.P.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you tried taking him to the bathroom at specific times throughout the day? I took my son the the bathroom when he first woke up, and then about every 3 hours. I made sure to run the water which helps. If he still doesn't go give him something to drink about 15 minutes before you take him. A friend of mine actually floated Cheerios, but my son didn't stand to pee. Good luck!!

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N.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi Stephanie, My little girl did the same thing when I started her that age. So, we waited few more month and started again and she was fine. I think your little one need a little bit more time.(Every child reacted to potty training differently)Hope this will help. N.

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M.M.

answers from Lynchburg on

I've read that you should make them go to the bathroom at the same time every day. This way they get in that habit of always going. Don't wait until he has to go, just take him. Also, for boys.....put Cheerios or Fruit Loops in the toilet and make them aim. It becomes a game for them and then they go more often to "play"! I hope this helps a little. Good luck to you!

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R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

You will probably have to train him to go by putting him on the potty every couple of hours and just making him sit until he goes. You don't want him to hold it so long because I know in girls they can easily get Yeast infections and I'm pretty sure boys can get infections as well. My daughter always had a habit of holding it too long. I had to go through the same thing with her. Also, if you feel that your son is capable of comprehending you should explain to him why it's not a good idea to hold his pee so long. You might find that if he understands why he needs to go more frequently then he may do it himself. I've told my kids when they are drinking, "The milk goes in the mouth, down your throat, into the belly and out in the pee pee." I use my finger to kind of tickle them as I touch their mouth, go down their neck, etc. You kind of make it into a little game. Then when you do take him to the bathroom you say, "Oh, no you better hurry up the milk is getting ready to come out!" After he pees tell him flush it down and say, "Bye, Bye milk (or pee pee)." I know it may sound a little silly, but it helps get them excited about going to the bathroom.

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

It may be stubbornness, like some of the other response said, but my son did this and we found it he had an infection that hurt when he peed. He never once cried while peeing, he would just hold it all day then as soon as he would fall asleep, he peed everywhere. Just something to keep in mind, especially if the color of his urine is off at all.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

It was a stuggle when I tried to potty train my son 14 years ago. My doctor taught me a trick that worked. Teach your son the color red. Put Fruit Loops in his potty and have him aim for the red Fruit Loops. They love playing the game and it makes them want to go to the potty often. Pretty soon he will be going on his own. Hope this helps.

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M.R.

answers from Roanoke on

Try leaving diapers and undies off him for a few days when you're home. Explain why you need to put them on when you go out.

When I tried underwear and they'd fall asleep in the car, I would open up a pull up or diaper and slide it under their butt. It at least saved me from cleaning the car seat

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

When my daughter started I bought her a potty chair that played Old MacDonald whenever she used it. She couldn't wait to use her potty.

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