Busy Mom Seeing Advice

I just gotta say that I agree with Tiffany about the Five love languages book. Very helpful! (It's not that long either.)

HI C.! I feel for you. I'm not in the same situation, but I can certainly empathize. I may be in lala land with this, but the only thing I can think of is to make a schedule for one-on-one time. For example, Mondays evenings is with your teenager, Tuesdays - 7 year old, Wednesday - 4 year old, Thursday - YOURSELF, and Friday - date night with the hubby. You don't have to go anywhere, just snuggle on the couch and watch a movie, give each other massages, or just talk in candlelight. I know they sound a little corny, but it's something to do for the both of you. Oh, and quit Brownies. You have too many people demanding your attention as it is. The last thing you need are outside sources. Weekends can be school work (although my husband is in school too, online courses also, & I see how hard it is to get all your work done and check into class everyday AND still devote time to family) and some family time. I really hope this helps. Let us know how things are going. Best wishes!

Hi C.
When I read your post the frist thing that popped into my head was you need to read the five love languages of children.I know your thinking I don't have time to read a book!!But if you are not meeting each childs love language. You could spend a whole day with them alone and they would still say you never spend any time with them. Hope this Helps:) T.

I don't have any wise advice for you but when I read your request the first thing that popped into my head was "that family needs a vacation!!!" Nothing huge or extremely expensive...maybe just a weekend away somewhere within driving distance. Have some time to get away from every day life and reconnect with each other!

You have way to many things going on. You need to put your family first, then your job, then your school.

Being a Brownie leader is awesome but it's not really spending time with your 7 year old it's spending your time with a group of 7 year olds. I was suppose to be my daughter's Brownie leader too but backed out because it's a job all in itself any my daughter is just to jealous to share me.

I would try and focus on one on one time with each one in your house and designate a day or night "FAMILY TIME" stay in and have a movie day or pizza and board games where everyone in the family is there no interruptions, turn the cellphones and house phone OFF, just good ole family time. Or everyone go for a walk or to the zoo.

When you do your grocery shopping have the kids take turns only let one kid come with at a time. It will be special and they will feel great having all your attention and being able to help you.

not only do you have your kids to tend to, you are taking care of other's kids all day...i am sure you have a small amount of energy during the day...can you carve out some me time once in a while to recharge your battery?? I like the other posts ideas of a family getaway or the 30 minutes of alone time with each kid. As far as brownies...i am a leader too...get the other parents involved!! You may be allowing them to dump their kid off for meetings/events so THEY get the me time that you need!!

YOU are an incredible woman. I got tired just reading your schedule. Should you be feeling overwhelmed? Yes.

I agree with all that's been said, especially regarding spending alone time with each child. However, you need to have a talk with your husband. My husband has very good intentions, but let's face it, they can be pretty clueless. I expect your husband has no concept of what your schedule is and how much you do. Even though it is pretty obvious to all of us women.

Literally write out your schedule and ALL of the chores that go along with it. (You will be shocked yourself.) Ask him for an hour of his time for him to review these things with you (plan for two hours in your schedule).
Start with: "Honey, I know I don't get to spend enough time with you. So I thought we should go over my schedule and see where I can find that time for us to be together..." Then go over your schedule and responsibilities with him. Will he see the light? Who knows. Will he take on some of your chores? Maybe. Will it take a few tries for him to comprehend fully? Yes.

Next step. Do the same with your kids. There should be tasks they can help with. Chores are part of being a family. Did your grandmother have chores when she was a child? You betcha.

Good luck.

Wow I have three girls too 4,2,4months. You are doing great! Just keep communicating with you husband do not try to do it all yourself. A fathers relationship to his daughters is very important. Check out the book "Strong Father, Strong Daughters" for your husband and yourself. 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker.

Woah! You've got quite the full plate. Someone suggested to me to take 30 minutes, per family member, per week and soley spend that time with them and only them. It really isn't about the amount of time. It's that your undivided attention is on them, doing whatever they want to do. You also need to plan a date night with your husband. Once a month, you and he need to spend time ALONE together.
Let's face it, with a busy family, working full-time and going to school full-time doesn't allow for much extra time. It sounds like you really need to prioritize, as well. What is important to you?
Try the 30 minute plan. That might help.
Good luck! Nobody said being a mom is the hardest job for no reason! :)

Hi C.,
I'm sorry you're so stressed right now. I think as moms, many of us can relate to the feeling of being pulled in many directions and feeling like no one is getting 100% of anything...let alone yourself!

I agree with those who say to carve out individual time for each person. Even small moments help. I am working on being "present" at whatever I'm doing, and it takes some effort (for example, when you're with one of your children, focus on them instead of worrying about what else you should be doing). It's not easy, but it makes a tremendous difference. With regard to your husband, many of my friends and I have marveled on how our husbands respond to little efforts. If you give them an inch, they will give back a mile. Sometimes it's hard to give anything else to yet another person at the end of the day, but what I've found is that when you do, they are so happy to connect with you that they then do other things to make life easier elsewhere.

Lastly, do take time for yourself, too. It seems counterintuitive to spend time on yourself when it seems you don't have enough to go around as it is, but everyone needs to recharge. If you don't "put on your own oxygen mask" first, you will have no strength to offer your family. I'm not talking about a rousing social life, but a night here or there to do something just for you is not unreasonable. Even if you grab a magazine and sit at Caribou for 2 hours. Good luck...hang in there!