Bummed Out... - Richmond,VA

Sweet that you want to take the 1st step to resolve your issue from the weekend, considering he was the one being moody. It's hard to be the grown up. Sometimes it gets into a "im not going to blink 1st, game of relationship chicken." Do you have any idea what caused his troubles inthe 1st place? Was it home or work related? Is there any possible way that you were being moody too? I only ask because you haven't had a break from the kids in so long, noone could blame you for being tired, cranky, frazzled. Maybe he was feeding off your mood? Or maybe felling neglected because the kids get so much of your energy?
Probably hasn't even occurred to him to celebrate the 1 monthiversary. And, If he was being moody because your cycles have lined up, maybe quiet time on the lake is just what he needs to clear his head.
In any event, your dinner fell through. What to do now? You can't make him a nice dinner, but you can pack something great for him to take with him, along with a little note or a card. Quiet time on the lake is a good time for reflection, so, putting your feelings onto paper should go far.
Next thing is how to get you a break from the kids! Can you enroll them in Vacation Bible School or drop them with family or something? You need to recharge your battery so you will have enough left to give.

Well, I've actually been on Rob's "side" of this deal once and it totally blind-sided me when my husband exploded on me! Between a new job, new house, new "married life" and dealing with my BIL's depression (yes, the fell to the family pshrink) I didn't acknowledge the anniversary of our engagement/purchase of our home. Oops. It really wasn't something that I thought we were going to "celebrate"... then again, I wasn't the one who shelled-out $10,000 for a diamond AND the down payment on our home. The fight was terrible and I was so upset that I cancelled our appointment to do our wedding album with our photographer.

In the end it came to communication. He never told me that he wanted to do something "special" and I never told him why I was feeling so stressed b/c there were so many "little things" that I couldn't put words to it. We talked and it wasn't "fun" and we didn't have a romantic weekend, but at least we weren't minutes from throttling one another.

He made plans for tonight, which bothers you (this has happened before). If you bring it up, he's going to start name calling (again, not new). You are going to be the peacemaker here and he's going to get the message that it's okay to be a moody jerk and that if he waits you out, it goes away.

Tomorrow night, you get a break when he gets home. Not in a "tit-for-tat" way, but in the "I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and need to go for a walk by myself" way. No accusations, no anger, just honesty. When you get back from your walk (make it a good 1/2 hour at minimum), let him know that you want to talk with him about the weekend. It's not healthy for your kiddos to be around this and it's not good for you two either!

Are you guys still seeing a therapist? If so, may be time to make another appointment and talk through the need to co-plan and co-exist! You're a married couple now, not just co-habitating! No matter what anyone says or how long you have lived together... being MARRIED is different!

One time recently, when I was similarly venting to a friend, she just looked at me and said, "You two need to have sex."

So I'm going to say that to you. When he comes home, let him have his shower, and initiate it if you have to. Can you even maybe get a babysitter and a hotel room for the night? Hotel rooms work wonders.

Also, didn't answer your previous post, but on the husband cleanliness thing, be happy he's clean, because it's WAY preferable to the opposite. I'm sure you've seen posts on here about husbands who didn't wipe their butts properly and then refused to shower.

Hope you feel better soon.

If it were me, I'd be HOT too. Then I'd complain to everyone but him and not talk to him for a day or two - he'd make a move, we'd do it, and all would be good again. Oh wait! That was my weekend - again! Lol...tell him how you feel - because if you don't know won't know. And tell Mr. Boss that it's not a guys night for him ;o).

Ah you really need to do something .Let's see if any of this works for you.

1. Buy him something nice. Something simple , maybe something that he has been wanting to buy for a while now. He will be happy that you were so thoughtful to get it for him.
2. Since you still have time to cook today , I would say do it. But instead of dinner maybe - make his favourite snack(the one he loves and you never get time to make) for him to grab before he leaves for fishing. Also have maybe card and flowers for him to show how much you love him. OR make lunch for tomorrow , pack it for him with a sweet little note on what he means to you that will make him smile. OR make something he loves (that reheats easily) that you can serve for dinner tomorrow night instead of today.That way you can celebrate tomorrow even though you won't have time to cook.
3. Stop by at his work place today and go out for coffee.
4. Give him a massage tonight after his fishing trip. (hopefully he gives you one too!) and cuddle.

So sorry that you're disappointed!! Disappointment SUCKS. IT's the worst.

So, how about you do a little something sweet for your hubby. Leave a note saying what you planned to do (romantic dinner) and that you will make it up to him next week. And tell him that you will miss him and will snuggle with him (insert time here). And tell him you love him.

This way you will be putting something together that is sweet and will let him know that you are thinking about him.

Have your talk when the timing is right - a wronly timed talk won't have the outcome anyone wants.

And plan ahead - your 6 month anniversary will be here before you know it - put everyone on notice that you are NOT free that day. Including your hubby. Then have a romantic night.

sending you a hug!!!!! you need it.