Bullying - Wichita Falls,TX

I think that the bullying behavior is more of a power thing right now than a mean-spirited thing. Remember, negative attention is better than no attention. Also, kids are so egocentric, that they have a hard time realizing that their actions affect other people. They have some videos at the library that demonstrate what bullying is and give role-play scenarios and then ask questions about the scene, like "How do you think that made "victim" feel when "bully" laughed at her like that?" and "How would you feel if someone hurt you like "bully" hurt victim?" etc. Basically, I am suggesting a mini-sensitivity training course in 5 year old language. Also, I don't think that consequences such as time-out or taking things away help him to see why his behavior was unacceptable. Try to focus on the behavior and not the child as you don't want him to get a negative self-image that only fuels the behavior. One thing that worked with one of my students was to have him be our "feelings" person for the day. At various moments during different activities, I'd stop the class and ask him how so-and-so must have felt (about getting an answer right, or sharing, or having someone help her with something such as carrying a toy for her, etc). It really helped him realize that people are people and have feelings just like he did. The kids really liked it too (they're all 3 and 4 mind you), so we do this from time to time now as a game.

My 3 year old is the size of a 7 year old and was really rough. He thought it was funny until I started using Love and Logic Parenting skills. Now when he is rough he has to go to his room and I tell him that we don't want to play with him when he is so hurtful. He got the message! He's started being a lot nicer because he does not like being removed from the rest of the family. I give him enforceable choices, you can either walk to your room or I will carry you, you can stay in your room with the door open or closed. Go ahead, you can scream and throw a fit in your room. He gets very upset but I don't talk to him until he calms down. He's getting quick to say he's sorry however I still make him stay in him room for a few more minutes while he's calm. Also I use lots of empathy "Oh oh, someone has been _____, and now he has to go to his room". I've discovered that if I don't get angry but remain calm he will focus on what he did wrong and not my anger. I recommend Love and Logic for many parents. It's easy to tailor to fit your families needs.

it may be a phase or maybe not...developmental doctors look at the bigger picture and do tests that would help. Dr Harkins is a wonderful doctor in the San Antonio area, e-mail if you would like the number

It's called Sibling Rivalry. at first it was funny with my kids because my 1yr old would get the best of his 4 yr old sister. but once he started fighting with her more and more every day it wasn't funny. so we decided to let her fight back with him to let him know how it felt to be hit or knocked down. after she got him really good a few times he backed off. as they grew up they would have their spats and fights. what i did then was to make them stand toe to toe until they hugged each other. if one hit the other, mom stepped in and spanked the one who hit. they eventually grew out of picking on each other and started ignoring each other at times. Neither one of them bullied anyone at school. Today they are 18 & 21 and get along great and laugh at their fights back then.

Hi there. I was wondering, does he only do things like this for fun? How is he when he gets in trouble? In general, if it is a temper thing, not just him trying to "be annoying" keep a close eye on it. My brother was often like that when we grew up. Nobody ever did anything about it.now as adults he still says mean things and can't control his anger. Not so much to me anymore because i am married and have my own family but to his girlfriend and my mom. We all feel we have to walk on egg shells. You have a baby also, of course ig sister can tell you when something happened but the baby is a potential victim/target also. This may not be the case, however don't be nieve to it if it may be. Be proactive, find out about counseling ect... Otherwise from my mom point of view, all you can do it try to take the things he values away until he starts making changes. I'm know to ground my kids often when they misbehave. It seems to be effective so far. Good luck.

I have four boys, and this behavior is pretty typical in my house. But, I do stress to my kids that it is not ok to hurt somebody on the inside or outside and that the behavior is inapporiate.

As far as stopping the behavior, you'll have to figure out what is really important to him. Maybe it's not taking things away, but rewarding good behavior.

I have made up charts on poster board in my home, and have put behaviors/chores on it that I want to be accomplished. Everyday at the end of the day, if they have done what is expected of them, they get a sticker for that chore. Each sticker is worth 5 cents. My 5 yr old has no concept of money, so 5 pennies over a nickel is way more money to him!!! And that amount won't buy much at a store, but I will tell my youngest two boys that if they earn $2, $5, or whatever, then they will get to buy .... and i put in the remaining money. I was amazed at how my boys responded to the idea of making money from the chart! When I was discussing it w/my 5 yr old and just telling him what I was going to do, he immediately ran around the house and picked up every toy in sight to earn his stickers. You can put any thing you want on the chart. Being nice, eating veggies, picking up toys, brushing teeth, feeding pet, reading a book, etc. I made sure to put a few things on the chart that I knew they could be successful at everyday and it is working beautifully! Even my 2 yr old is doing great! Good luck, and let us know how things turn out for you!

One more suggestion, when the boys get tired of doing what they need to do, and collecting the money is no longer an incentive, I pick out a toy/item that I know they want and tell them that by next weekend they should have enough money to buy it and that gets them right back on track w/a goal to look forward to.