My son is having issues with a bully on the school bus. He told me on yesterday that a 5th grader was punching him over and over in his stomach on their way home from school. I was so furious. For one, I don't like bullies and secondly this kid is in the 5th grade picking on a second grader. I don't know what to do because my son is such a free spirited kid. I don't want him fighting but I do want him to defend himself if needed. I have no idea how to explain that to him. I tried explaining that to him but he told he doesn't want to fight back because he will get in trouble at school. Being a mother I was going to remove him from the situation by not allowing him to ride the bus anymore but I can not protect him forever. I will go to the school to report the issue but I am concerned that the matter may get worse. The bully may try to fight him more because my son reported him.
Help I don't know what to do.
The bullying has ended!!!! My son told the bus driver what was going on and he got onto the kid. My son even told me that he is talking to him -- wanting to be his friend. He also apologized to my son.
I had this problem and I called the tranportaion dpartment at the school. They have cameras in the bus and that boy was kicked off the bus.
You need to take the bullying VERY SERIOUSLY. I remember a few months back, a website that I read about a child who committed suicide over being bullied by another student in his school. The parents didn't realize how serious it was, although their child's attitude changed drastically by his appetite, not wanting to go to school, became extremely introverted, etc. Then one day, he said he didn't want to go to school and finally the parents caved in. This is several months of battling the school district over the bully who already had a big history, and several months of counseling. That day, he had called his dad at work on the phone and told him good bye. When his dad knew something was wrong, he sped home only to find his son had shot himself to death. This was all over a school bully.
Seek attention QUICKLY. School bullies are a serious thing. Meet with the bus driver, principal, and the superintendent of the ISD. Explain the situation... perhaps the child will then be removed from the bus. They will also need to alert any officials at your child's school so that the bully does not look for your child at school.
There are several advocates and websites full of school bully information. Don't let this un-mannered child ruin your son's experience with school.
I wish you all the best of luck... please be careful.
tell what happens and say to your son has to defend himself dont care about school your son is more important
My son was in the same situation from the third-fifth grade. We talked to several teachers and the principal. Needless to say it helped to some degree but my son continued to to be harrassed. His father told him to defend himself. The next time it happened several boys ganged up on him on the school bus. He had to fight back and is now well respected. Sometimes as a mom we've got to let our boys be boys.
C.,
You can't protect him forever, but at the tender age of 7/8 he desperately needs your protection (especially from a big kid). I'd definitely consider the option of taking him off the bus.
You absolutely have been getting great advice. Don't let it escalate more than what it already has. This child and bus driver both need to be reported. If that kid continues to hurt your son and you pull him off from riding the bus, there will be another victim. I don't know if you saw the report a few months ago in Florida, 5 boys raped a 14 year old girl on the bus and the bus driver did nothing. It was all caught on tape. HOW HORRIFYING.
Put a stop to it, ASAP!
Hi,
Some family members and I had experiences with bullies growing up. I'm sorry to hear your little guy is dealing with this. When I was harrassed on a bus in the third grade, I told my family and my brother arranged to be around and confronted the bully for me. Is there anyone same age as the bully or older on the bus or around that could do the same for your son? It's pretty powerful when another peer, an older peer, takes up for "the underdog." I have other experiences and things that my family members tried that I could relate, but this may help. My dad was in the military so we were constantly moving and being the new kids on the block. We were teased and tested until we proved ourselves.
Things have changed some since we were kids, but bottom line: Bullies will bully people until someone stands up to them or they see it just doesn't have the effect the bully wanted. I would try a "level approach," but don't let it drag on for months. Level one, let your kid try to deal with this on his own. One set of advice you received was to have your child tell you what he would do if it happened to his best friend. That is a great idea. Start with that. I also like the "3 strikes idea." (Tell the bully to back off; tell a grown up; defend yourself.)
Level two: go through the proper channels. Better yet have your son go through the proper channels. Have him tell the bus driver and ask to be seated closer to the bus driver. Have him tell the school counselor. (The school counselor should call the bully's parents.)
However, if this doesn't get resolved SOON you may even need to step in (level three) and leave a paper trail that says if this doesn't stop, you will take action (file the complaint with the bus company, school counselor so that it gets into the bully's file, etc.) You may even want to say in writing that your son has your permission to defend himself, and that if need be you will be prepared to take legal action. (I would prepare your son, too, that he may need to defend himself. My dad always said that we were not to start a fight, but we could sure end one!)
I hope this gets resolved soon!
Holly M.
Things have really changed and schools cannot afford to allow this kind of behavior on their buses or in their schools. You need to go straight to the principal today and let them know what is happening. They will work with the bus driver to ensure that this does not happen again. They may also go ahead and call the boy in and suspend him, usually 3 days, especially if there is a witness. You must protect your child, especially at this age. The staff at school will be glad to know this is happening so they too can protect your child and others.
I had a similar situation with my son last year. He was in 6th the bully in 8th. I don't stand for things like this at all. I had my son go to the principal & and I followed up with a phone call. The 8th grader was given a very stern warning and I believe his parents were called as well. Never had any trouble the rest of the year. I also told my son you definately do not want to start a fight but there is nothing wrong with defending yourself. Hope this helps.
If the bullying was coming in the form of teasing or name-calling, I might say let him handle it himself. But when it escalates to something that could cause physical injury to your child, like punching him repeatedly in the stomach, then you MUST report it to the school. The school should have a zero tolerance policy in this matter. And where is the bus driver during all this??? I know they can't be expected to see everything all the time, but how do you know notice someone being repeatedly punched?
Contact the school district and the bus driver. Has the bus driver witnessed the bullying? The bully should be the one removed from the bus instead of you pulling your son off the bus. Do you know the child's parents? Maybe you could contact them directly and make them aware of the situation.
Good luck!
As a prevetion specialist in schools, and a student therapist I suggest that you definately report the matter to the school and report the bus driver. Bullies can be a serious matter and its won't go away on its own. The bus driver should be watching for that sort of behavior and the bully should be kicked off the bus for a couple of weeks. I doubt that your child is the only one being picked on, so you can ask the school to keep the report confidential and to watch the bully.
Developmentally your son isn't going to understand standing up for himself, fighting/not fighting and getting in trouble with school. You might even ask the school to bring in speakers to talk to the students about bullying on an age appropriate level.
First off I would get in touch with whatever Busline he is on. I was a driver for 19yrs. if I seen a child bullying a younger one I would make the older one sit at the front of the bus. I had a monitor on the bus as well. You could also speak to the driver as well. I don't know about your State but we in Ontario is a hands off policy. This child if her were here would be getting a pink slip and suspended from the bus for us to 10days. You could also ask the driver to have your son closer to the front as well.
I would put the elder ones' at the back, the middle grades in the centre and the youngest at the front. I wouldn't go to the school because yes your son is right, this kid will get him somewhere on the school grounds, I know this sounds so unfair but it happens without the knowledge of the teacher who is on yard duty. This bully is probably a bully with others as well and nobody will snitch on him so to speak because they are afraid of him. I think your best bet is to speak with the bus driver or call the bus company and have the driver call you. I don't know if they would give you the drivers' phone number, but he/she can certainly call you.
Good luck and I hope your son has a much more enjoyable ride to/from school.
It could be helpful to try to set up a time that you and your son could meet with the bully and his parents in order to try to work out the conflict. His parents may have no idea how he is behaving when they're not around, and by alerting them to the problem, you could end up helping both your son and the bully. By doing this you also reinforce the idea that it is better to talk out problems than to be pulled into a physical fight.
Also, I would say that it is important for you to make sure your son knows that it's not his fault that this is happening. In fact, it is often because of positive characteristics that children are picked on; for example, he is kind to everyone and doesn't want to hurt others or get in trouble (as you mentioned). Therefore, the bully may be targeting him because he is almost sure there will be no retalliation or consequences.
Just make sure your son knows that he is doing nothing wrong and that just because the bully seems to dislike him, that doesn't mean that others dislike him. Often young children will try to find a reason why they are being hit because they don't understand that it's a problem with the person hitting them. They blame themselves, and try to change their personality sometimes, and I'm sure you love your son just the way he is,and wouldn't want to see that happen.
Good luck with your problem, and I hope at least something I've said can help.
Hello there,
I am sorry for what is happenign I am sure it is a terrible feeling as a mother not to be ablet o help all the time..I just you speak to transportation. I have a friend who drived the school buses and she does not tolerate any nonsense like that on the bus.. Let transportation know of the situatuion on the bus and request to have the kids moved around. they can just say they wanted t kids to have a change of scenery, noone will know. If you know the bus driver and have there direct information contact them too. My friend helps parents all the time. She has moved kids around for the same reason.. I hope all works out..
L.
www.marykay.com/lnaranjo
What happen to defendin ur self ?? My son is the same way very free spirited he is 9.I have givin him the 3 strikes ur out..First tell the child to leave U alone or ur going to tell the teacher , if it happens again tell the teacher, an make sure U are there to hear her tell the child to leave U alone an so forth. 3rd if he does it again, defend ur self cause..An I will handle it from there.Needless to say he has never had to hit a child at school. But where we lived he was gettin bullied.I went right to the parent. An it was a 6 grader..Ur son needs to tell the bus driver when he is gettin off, about wat is happenin to him..Then if it happens again U should be there in the morinin to address it to the driver, also askin her to move ur child away from this kid..If that doesn't work go to the school, have a meetin wit them an the childs parents cuase they proba don't know they have a bully..An keep it written down when & time U talked to the driver. An the date ur son tells her. Good Luck
As a former bus driver I know that going to the school has minimal effect. But go to the bus barn and explain the situation to the manager or driver or even the dispatcher. They in turn will watch your child by placing him closer or even the bully so it does not happen again. If it does and the bully gets caught then he will be suspended on the bus.
Good luck. Tell your son to sit with a buddy too.
