Brother's Girlfriend Is Using Drugs and I Need Some Advice ...please

I would be very cautious in this situation. First of all, you are not absolutley positive that she was referring to or is definitely using drugs. If you falsely accuse her and or him, you stand the chance of distancing yourself from him, which is the last thing you want. If you think that an open course of conversation with your brother is welcome, then i would ask him about it, and tell him what you suspect and why. There might be a lot more to it than what you think.-Lace

Personally, I'd tell him that if he and his girl friend wanted to get high before coming to my house - skip coming to my house. But that's me, and I'm not known for mincing words or remembering manners when it comes to the safety of my children.

That said, based on what you've written they're behavior doesn't concern you with regards to safety - so you might say something along the lines of, "Between her end of the phone conversation and her behavior while you guys were at my house, I'm concerned that Ash was under the influence of ______ while you guys were here. I love you, and I love her - but I can't have that stuff around my kids - then either he will get pissed and hang up, or you can suggest an alternative (shorter visits, if she is an addict - or choosing not to use while she's there, if he insists it's just recreational - as my niece did to me) ... and you simultaneously set the boundaries for his behavior.

Some people might consider it going behind her back - for the record, in my family we deal with the family member and if they're not married, then she's not family.

I don't think you should automatically assume that because she is doing drugs that your brother is also. Why don't just sit down and talk to him, say that you noticed she was acting kind of strangely and be honest with him. Don't jump down his throat or be forceful just ask him to tell you the truth and either decide to believe him or decide that maybe you don't want her around your family. You can't control what he is doing or who he wants to be around and speaking from experience the harder you push the closer they will get. Be there for him, let him know that if he needs you you will be there for him but if his girlfriend and/or himself want to do drugs that you don't want that kind of stuff around your children.

mydvice to you is talk to your brother but in non judgemental way.you could be paraniod about it all.as being a neet freek i read,you may just be one of those who look for flaws in every one.but ya know if you bud in to harsh you could push him away.good luck.

You have to talk about it, if you ingnore it- before you know it they will be living under a bridge together trying to score! Whether or not he aknowledges it, you need to set boundaries now. They should not be welcome in your home while high or do drugs while there-at the very least! You have kids and they do not need to be exposed to this and they will be if you let it continue!

This is a very hard thing to do but...Iwould approach him and just ask. DOn't accuse or point fingers just ask if he's noticed her acting strange. If she's a user she needs to get help. He might not have any idea. I have younger brothers and I get in their face. One listens the other just does what he wants. The one that doesn't listen is a lost cause but if he falls i will help him back up. You're his sister not hers. Take care of your brother. If he has noticed then talk about getting her help. If he's using that's going to be even tougher. I hope this helps a little.

I would ask your brother if he or she is going drugs and simply explain to him that you cannot have that going on around your children and not to visit while they are high. Most importantly you have got to put your childrens safety first no if's and or but's.
Some times you just have to give the ones you love tough love and choices to make.
Good luck.

Please talk with your brother. Get some professional advice from a drug counselor to effectively handle to the conversation and then talk with him.

I just came home from a funeral. My best friends son died from a drug overdose at the age of 19. He was a great kid. Great grades then after graduation went onto a good job where that job was paying for his college. He had a promising future and then he met his girlfriend. Things went downhill after that. Many people wished they would have said something to him but they were afraid he would push them away. Their fear now leaves them with guilt.