K.G.
My experience is pretty much the same as the rest. I had 4 bridesmaids (my brother was my Man of Honor) each with a different personality and 2 of which were pregnant. I gave them 3 colors that were in the wedding and added that if they found another complimentary shade I would not be opposed to it but would want to see it first. The 2 pregnant bridesmaids both chose the same color and the other 2 ended up in the remaining 2 colors so that all 3 shades were represented. All of the dresses were the same length but each dress suited the wearer perfectly (one friend loves vintage and she found an amazing dress that fit her personality perfectly). I also let them decide on shoes, jewelry and hair styles so that the over all look was what they wanted.
I also had all of the men in the wedding chose their own ties (most already owned black suits and those that didn't preferred to buy then rent). They had the same color options and were allowed to go with pattern the only stipulation was that one of the colors in a solid was to be worn only by my Dad and my Father-in-law. My husband wore black. To make things easy on everyone in the wedding I used fabric and paper samples (leftovers from some of the decorations) and gave each a Ziploc bag with the samples to make their shopping easier.
The overall look was exactly what I wanted and still looked very elegant. The most important thing was that everyone was happy and their personalities were not hidden.
My 4 flower girls wore the same dress in the lightest shade of the wedding which was also the same as one of the bridesmaids.
Good luck!