I have a four week old baby, he is using me as his pacifier. I'll feed him and shortly after I unlatch him he'll start to cry. The only way to get him to stop is to latch him on and he'll eventually fall asleep. Do I let this go on until he's a little older and if not what would you mom's advise me to do?
My advice is to feed on demand, including just as a pacifier. This stage won't last for long, and he's just a tiny baby looking for comfort.
You don't need a pacifier, you need to keep feeding your little guy. He will 'use you' to prep your body for his growth spurts and they do eat non-stop for a while. You're probably getting a 30 min break in between feedings? Normal...congratulations!
Hi there, get yourself in a breastfeeding support group, they are so helpful for continuing bf and getting answers to all your questions. Everything sounds normal for this age. It gets a lot easier as time goes on :)
He is very young & although it might seem like he's only using you as a pacifier, he might actually still be getting milk that he needs. I agree with some of the others - let him be free with your breast at this age and as he gets older his nursing routine will normalize. All three of my babies fell asleep on my breast! Very normal!
Congratulations on your precious-one!
Angelina - how long are your feeds? In general, babies feed for however long they need to until they are full and then you feel a real difference in their sucking, they stop swallowing, or they just come off like a drunken sailor. They also often take a break as they wait for another round of letdown. Your little guy is still pretty young so I would just let him feed until he's done. If you're unlatching him, he may not be getting the rich hindmilk that gets them really full. Remember that your foremilk is thinner and has more sugar in it while the hind milk has more fat. There is a unique connection where your baby tells your body what he needs by his feeding/sucking patterns, so I'd really suggest going with it.
My little girl took 20-30 minutes PER breast when she was 4 weeks old, so I was basically nursing for an hour then got an hour break before the next feeding. She eventually became more efficient but now she is feeding longer but at 20 weeks, she has 6-8 feedings instead of 10-12 since she sleeps more at night.
Hang in there!
Aaahhh, I remember those days. I don't know how many times I fell asleep on the couch waiting for my son to stop nursing/sucking. I would just go with the flow and let him, but that's just me. For me it was like the ultimate compliment, he needed me so bad that even in his sleep he couldn't bear to be away from me. If you really want to get up and get away try switching out a binky or even your finger for a bit and then slowly taking it away.
I really really didn't want to give my daughter a pacifier but she was using me as one... so i gave in and gave her one of her own, so I could rest. She was fine after that and she stopped using the pacifier when she was 3 almost 4 months.
My baby did the same thing. I took to having a book nearby so I could not be as annoyed or bored. By about 6 weeks she stopped and started using the pacifier. By 5 months she was over the pacifier and just a happy baby!
Everyone I talked to said you are pretty much doing whatever they want until at least 3 months. It is not until then that they can even start to form "bad habbits". (even then any "habbit" can be changed if you are willing to change.)
So no worries, you're normal!
My oldest would fuss anytime she wasn't latched on to me, too. I tried every pacifier on the market, she had no interest in them, only me. Finally, I bought a sling & a couple of nursing shirts at a 2nd hand store so that I could move around & kept a book with me when I needed to sit & she was a happy baby. Incidentally, the next 2 went immediately into the sling & I nursed them whenever they wanted & they rarely even fussed at all. We went everywhere with the babies in the sling, so that the older ones could have outings & the babies were safe & close to me...cut down on too many hands touching my newborns, too. I really felt like since she was inside me for 9 months, she still needs my closeness to feel safe & content.
My husband would carry her in the front back or when she was older, in a backback, on outings, when she was awake & didn't want to nurse. I was always fearful of carrying them without them being in a sling or front/backback, what if someone knocked into them in a crowd?
Good luck & try to relax & enjoy this time. He's so small now, believe me, it won't be very long at all before you are running none stop after an active toddler!! If you are into reading parenting info, Dr. Sears has some great books on babies & kids.
I just had my third baby.
I'll be busy helping my first two kids after I've changed and nursed my third baby (I can tell he's tired, so I put him to bed) when my third baby cries. By the time I can get to my third, he has stopped crying.
Your baby is your first and, naturally, you respond to every cry (I did too); I responded to EVERY single sound.
If know your baby is tired, try to distract yourself for a set period of time (ten minutes?) before responding to your baby. I've found that my baby needs about that much time to cry himself to sleep.
I know it's torture (it still is for me), but it's establishing your child's ability to put himself to sleep rather than relying on you. You'll experience more sleep and your child will too. A win-win situation!
I always try to imagine if I had triplets or more and what I could do if they were all crying. You can't tend to every one simultaneously; just do what you can do, but put your needs first: sleep when you can, use the restroom, drink lots of water, shower every day, keep the dishes clean and put away every day.
I didn't do these things with the first and it made life more difficult for me because I never put my needs first; this also includes continuing my relationship with my husband: he will still be there once the baby's gone; don't grow apart.
I'll get off my soap-box.
Good luck
