Breaking the "Habit" ** Updated Slightly Due to Some Responses**

If you really want to get her off the bottle at this point, THROW THE BOTTLES ALL IN THE TRASH. If you get rid of them, you won't be able to use them. She will get over it. I know to a lot of mom's that might sound harsh and I will probably get a lot of criticism for thinking that way, but if you feel it is time for her to give up the bottle, put them all in the trash and take them to the curb. In order to break her of that habit, your husband will just have to deal with a little bit of crying. My partner is not patient in any way either, so believe me, I know how it is. I had to deal with a similar thing when I quit nursing my son (now, 4). He went straight from breast to cup and skipped the bottle thing all together, but when I quit nursing him, I did it all at once. He screamed and cried for a couple of days (mostly at night), but after about 2 or 3 days, he soon learned that he would only get a cup of water from me. Quite honestly, it went a lot faster than I thought it would.

Hi T.-
It sounds like she's using the bottle for comfort before falling asleep, and that she's not ready to give it up yet. You're actually way ahead of where we were at 12 months - my little boy was still using bottles for all of his milk until at least 14-15 months or so. Our pediatrician suggested that we wean him off the bottles by 18-20 months, and when he was about 18 months old, we were able to (peacefully) stop giving him milk in the bottle at bedtime and first thing in the morning (which was when he liked it).

Unless there's some real need to get her off the bottle right now, I'd suggest letting her continue for a bit longer, rather than forcing her into a behavior change that she doesn't sound ready for.

From what I have read bottles and milk at night create dental problems. When we weaned my daughter off a sippy at night it was so hard. She refused to give that thing up. Comfort items are comfort items for a reason.

We had some scream it out (I know some ppl don't agree with this, but she is the type that would still have a sippy if we had let her decide when to give it up). But I began introducing a stuffed animal for her to sleep with, and after a month she was fine. We do a cup of water before bed and she is fine.

I have asked my doctor repeatedly about the sceaming it out method since both of my kiddos are extremely stubborn, and I've had four different doctors tell me it is perfectly fine and safe so long as they don't do it all night. One said it actually opens their lungs up, which is healthy. Kids do a lot of screaming on the playground, while playing, and running around and so on. The doctor only cautioned if they are getting themselves into such a tizzy that they burst capilaries, but that usually only happens in anygry fits. Mine have yet to do it.

Anyhow whatever you choose to do is up to you - you know your daughters personality and if you feel this is something she is going to be unwilling to give up for some time to come you will need to decide how to approach that. If it does continue and you have another baby I would highly recommend breaking the habit way before the baby arrived. My mom had my sister close to me and she said I was three before we could come close to getting rid of bottle because she just let me have them for comfort. Once the baby was there I would simply take her bottles if mom removed mine. Hilarious, but as a mom I know see the problem.

Best of luck!

not to sound harsh, but you really shouldn't be giving her milk to fall asleep with. here's why: lactose, the sugar found in milk, can cause tooth decay. if she falls asleep with the aid of a milk bottle, some of the milk is remaining in her mouth, soaking her teeth with lactose and weakening the enamel.
a piece of advice i got from our dentist and our pediatrician (who both gave me the above advice) is to use her bottles for water only. tell her that she can have a bottle at bedtime, but that milk is not allowed anymore unless it's in her sippy. during the day, praise her for using her sippy for milk, but be very consistent about only putting water in her bottle. at this age, babies tend to lose interest with a bottle if milk or juice isn't in it.
also, giving in to her when she's screaming tells her if she screams loud and long enough, she'll get what she wants. your husband needs to understand that. my ex-husband gives in to my 3 year old at any sign of argument, and while he only sees her every other weekend, it means we deal with more than our fair share of temper tantrums on a daily basis because she honestly thinks if she throws a fit for long enough, we'll give in (even though that's not our way). it's a horrible precedent we have to put up with, but there's no way out of it until her father decides to parent instead of placate.
good luck. kids can be very stubborn, but with patience and love, you can do it.

I agree with Val. She's transitioned into the other things smoothly but shes telling you she needs her bottle at nap and bed time. Continue the bedtime routine. She'll easily give up the bottle at those times when she's ready to do so.

The inconsistent way that you're trying to take away the bottle is "teaching" her that if she cries long enough, hard enough, etc. she can get the bottle.

Having the bottle does not harm her or you. Removing it is causing stress and anxiety for all three of you. Give her the bottle. She'll let go of it when she's learned that she can be comforted by something else and that you are not going to make her do something that is against her own sense of security.

Update: I've seen many cases of "bottle mouth." It is not caused by letting your baby go to sleep with a bottle while you're holding her. It's caused by leaving the baby in the crib with the bottle which he/she sucks on thru out the night. Or by letting a baby have a bottle all day long. Especially when the bottle is Kool-aid or fruit juice. It's the constant sugar on the teeth. IF you give the baby a bottle while you rock her and then remove the bottle when you put her in her crib her saliva will wash the milk away.

She's a year old. Does she have "bottle mouth" now. If not now she won't after another few weeks of giving her the bottle at nap or bedtime.