Going to Bed Without a Cup/bottle

My son also threw a fit if he didn't have a sippy cup of milk when he went to bed. He is 24 months now, and about 2 months ago, we started putting ice water in his cup instead of milk. We do this for his big sister (almost 4 years old) and she puts it on her nightstand. We told him the cup was just like his sister's, and that was enough to keep him satisfied. I give him milk with dinner, and he hasn't complained since we switched.

Have you tried to hold her while giving her her cup and perhaps singing songs or reading a book and when the song/book is over, she takes a couple big drinks of water and she goes to bed with a cup of water. The milk would then leave the room with you and she could keep a cup of water. SHe can also take a favorite toy to bed like the other mom suggested, but the milk wouldn't then be left in her mouth all night. I would maybe start talking to her about it and maybe buy her a new nighttime cup that she can get excited about that will only have water in it. Good luck.

I understand what you are going through I went through it with all 3 of my older kids and my 18 month is getting ready to get his cup taken away soon also. What we did was only give them water in the sippy cup when it came to bed and nap times. That way it wasn't so bad on there teeth and they usually don't like it as well as milk or juice. Then after a little while of that we took it away all together. I like doing it in little steps it makes it easier for me and the child to adjust I think. Good Luck I hope this helps.

I would give her a bottle or cup- whichever she wants with water only- and stick to it-- no milk-- that way she still has the comfort option if she needs it without it hurting her teeth.

My daughter is 3 now and still wants a sippy cup at bedtime. I've always let her have it, but only with water. She gets thirsty through the night and that's a non messy way to let her keep a drink with her. I wouldn't worry about letting her have a sippy cup as long as it was just water. The cup may be a comfort to her and water won't hurt her teeth. Hope that helps!

Hello N.,

I'm not sure what other bedtime cycles you have, but have you tried reading to her or giving her another object to take to bed? I use to have such bedtime problems with my 3 year old, when I finally let him pick one thing (besides a sippy cup or bottle) to take to bed with him. From then on we haven't really had any crying spells at bedtime. Now the item changes everyday..from a favorite blanket to one toy, a certain pillow, stuffed animal, a certain book, and sometimes he just wants to kiss his baby sister before he goes to bed. Always something different, but I always let him pick what he wants... I hope this helps and good luck.

N.
SAHM of a 3 year old boy and a 7 month old daughter.

I know this is not timely, but I was reviewing my mail and ran across your letter. My children, 3 of them, are adults, but when they were young, my wise mother took a relaxed stance toweard childrearing and helped me with problems like this.

Your little girl is just in need of some reassurance and . I share the concern about her teeth, so what about a sippy cup with water. My son, now 26, wanted a bottle when he slept so until he was 4 or so, he just took the water bottle to bed. No drama, no decay and no long lasting repercussions.

It is sad that your baby is so upset. It is hard on everyone. Perhaps this will help.

she needs to see a pediatric dentist.

As other responses have suggested, we also switched to water in our son's bottle (at around 21 mo.) at it works great. In the beginning we had to dilute the milk with water, and continually reduce the amount of milk untill it was eventully all water. Sometimes we warm the water at that really soothes him. If he really wants milk, then I put a splash in the water, no big deal. This also helped with the transition from a crib to a toddler bed. He still prefers his bottle over a sippy cup when he goes to sleep, as he never took to a binkie.

If she is crying with the sippy cup in bed and then finally drinking it, why are you giving it to her at all? Is the amount/intensity of the crying getting less? Who is the crying effecting more, her or you? Hopfully in another few nights she will be over it and going to sleep with out the aid of a cup or bottle. But if you are finding it difficult maybe you could try decreasing the amount of milk in her cup by an ounce or so every night. Hopefully she will just get board with it and give it up on her own.

I let my boys have milk in the 'baba' at nap and bedtime until they were three. I didn't see any harm in it and they are 13 and 17 now and are normal well adjusted kids who make a's and b's in school. Their teeth did not rot from having a bottle for so long. If it comforts your daughter consider lettting her have it.

A week before they turned three I told them that on their birthday the 'baba' fairly would come and take the baba's away to a new baby. Magically, the bottles disappeared and neither one of them cried.

T. C.
Spa Girlfriend Parties
www.spaescapescottsdale.com

While it is tough to listen to your daughter cry and I imagine it breaks your heart as well, you need to just let her do it and she will eventually realize that she isn't going to get a cup or a bottle. 15 minutes of crying is worth the end result. You have to keep strong and hold your ground. Best of luck.

Just be consistant. If you say "no sippy cup" mean "no sippy cup" She will not like it at first....but bottom line....kids really don't need milk/cup/bottle to fall asleep. Hang in there when she gets tough....just get tougher...(ie. love her enough to not give in.) Oh...and praise praise praise for when she makes it to sleep nicely without her cup! Little rewards that show how much you appreciate what a BIG Girl she is...will go a long way.
G.

My son is two and a half and I still put him down with a sippy cup full of water. Now that he's potty training, I'll need to start thinking of cutting that out (so he can eventually lose the diapers at night) but I really don't see the harm in it, otherwise.

I wake up thirsty at night, why shouldn't he?

So, my advice is to switch from milk to water in the sippy cup at night. That way, she won't be damaging her teeth and you'll be resting easier knowing that she's happy. It's a win-win.

Sure, eventually, you might need to wean her off it...but chances are good that she'll simply grow out of it first. My son no longer drinks his entire cup at night and (I suspect) wouldn't even notice if I snuck in after he was asleep and removed it altogether.

Of course, my advice is completely moot if she won't accept the water in her sippy...

Good luck to you!

Unfortunatly, I have gone through this with 2 of my 4 kids. I too was seperated and although it does have an effect on our kids, we are still there for them at night. What ever you do, you must make sure your significant other if visitation is in play or babysitters follow the same routine. We just had to grin and bear it. Pick a weekend or your days off and just have to try to comfort and talk and explain to them "no more sippy cup" When we did this though we took it away all together as to avoid their confusion of why they could have it during the day and not at night. My youngest son was the worst and we like you gave him milk at night and we just took him to the dentist at 2 1/2 years old and say the effects of milk. I would have emotional support, maybe your mom or a girlfriend stay the night with you to give the reminder not to cave in and give it back to her. Its tough, your tired and want to sleep, they are crying and naturally you want to make them happy and give in to sooth them but I found this worked for us.

Try giving her the milk before bed while you read her stories. Then give her a cup of water to have in bed.

Hi N.,
My daughter had the hardest time giving up her sippie cup. I know what you are going thru, but please take this advise. If she is falling asleep after only 15 min of not having it, then you are on the right track girl. I know its hard to see them crying and you just want them to stop and you think well I will just do it this once. Every time we give in, they know this and they will just cry each and every time and more because they know we will give in. Due to the fact that you said she will cry for 15 min then take the cup, just don't give it to her at all. Save yourself the time and energy and just do it all at once. I think your daughter will fall asleep without it all together if 15 min is all it is taking. Now my daughter on the other hand would cry for hours. It crushes you , you know it is bad for them but after 2 hours of non stop crying we would give in. I finally did what I knew I should have in the first place and just let her cry. One day I was washing her cup in the dishwasher and the lid fell to the bottom and melted. I panicked ! I said to myself now what am I going to do. That was the best day of my life! I showed it to her and she knew it was gone and there was not another cup like hers in the house. The first two nights were awful, but she realized the cup was gone. She was 3 and a half. So with all this said, I feel just don't give her the cup tell her its missing, get rid of all sippy cups in the house. Do it on a Friday when you know you won't have to get up for work, do it all weekend and nap times. I promise you , it will work. I just wish I would not have waited so long. Good luck to you , and keep us informed .
S. mom to two wonderful kids ages 13 and 8

Hi
The longer you hang on to a habit the longer and more difficult it becomes for it to go away.I stopped each of my 3 kids from their bottle at 15-16 months and I never replaced it, I went straight to bath, massage ,snack with big kid cup, story time , kisses and BED.
they all will cry for ten min or so to break a habit.....crying has never killed any kids?
Don't give in , u r the parent, get the result you want with my suggestions, I hope.
How about telling her she is a BIG girl now and she has a bath then a BIG girl snack before bed and give her her drink[in her sippy cup ] at this time and have her rinse it say bye bye to it until she gets up?
If this doesn't work? read a book with her and her sippy cup then bed?
A., I am a Registered Nurse and mom of 3 kids, 14 and 12 year old girls and an 8 yr old boy.
Hope that helps.

Hi N.,

We had the same problem with both of our boys. I know the doctors say it is bad for them to drink while lying down - can cause earaches but it comforts them. What we did is slowly watered down the milk. Then just gave them sippies of water. They lost interest quickly after that switch - best wishes!

I see that you are separated. Did the separation happen recently? If so, this would certainly have an effect on your daughter. Her bottle gave her some security she might not be ready to relinquish, especially if she is newly adjusting to your separation. Sometimes as parents we have ideas that are not always in sync with our children's actual needs. It sounds to me like she is not ready to give up the bottle that has provided solace for her. Would you consider letting her decide when she doesnt need the bottle any longer? You might want to set the limit that she drink the milk before actually lying down as you develop (by adding) some other routines to her bedtime schedule, such as cuddling with you as you read a book or two to her. As she attaches to these other ways for bedtime she might more easily relinquish the bottle. I have found that if we simply trust our children, they really know what they need, and we can usually take our cues from them for what they are ready for, when.

Breaking a habit is always difficult. But in this case I think it's a good thing. You might try offering her a "big girl" cup with a small amount of drink in it as a substitute and then let her have a plush toy to sleep with or an special blanket. It is really hard to take something away without giving her something else in its place. when she is older that will work, but for now it's easier to make a game of it.

Good luck,

M. D

Just give her a sippy cup with water. We have always gave my son a cup with water in it when he goes to bed, or when he was still taking a nap, he would have one as well, he's 2 1/2. She is probably just thirsty and needs something to drink.

My son will be three in Sept and still gets his sippy cup at nap and bedtime. It relaxes him and he falls to sleep so much easier. However, we only put water in it. I would say if you don't care about her having a drink then just worry about getting her switched to only water at bedtime take a week or two and water the milk down a little more everyday if you have to. Even if you'd rather her not have a cup it may be easier to just replace the milk with water before completley taking it away. It's a habit that you've created(we've got a few ourselves) and it can ruin a toddlers day(not to mention yours) when you suddenly break their routine because they depend on it at this age.

N. ~ You could try giving the milk in a sipping cup about 15 mins before she goes to bed. Reading to her while she is drinking her milk can help her relax and get ready for night night. Good luck.

N.,
At 21 months your girl is old enough to understand the concept of "You are growing up so fast, you're a "BIG girl now, and big girls don't take sippy cups to bed". After repeating this for a while, simply take the cup away. Yes, she'll cry for a few days, but she will adapt. Perhaps you can buy her a new "BIG GIRL" cup for her to have with her meals or snacks.
About me: I'm 62, mother of 2 boys and 1 3-year old grandchild and 2 granddogs.

Hi N.,

She is defiantly old enough to be off the bottle as most pediatricians recommend you should start weaning your baby off the bottle between the ages of 6 and 9 months.

At first start by putting only water in her bottle. Then try offering her other comfort objects at night such as a favorite blanket or stuffed toy. Try reading to her or rocking her to sleep instead of putting her to bed with out anything at all.

Aim to get the bedtime bottle of milk completely out of your daughters life as you had mentioned it does cause tooth decay. The longer you continue to offer the bottle, the more attached she will become to it, and she wont be able to fall asleep without it.

Only offer the sippy cup during the day and in an area such as the kitchen, or in her high chair. This will help teach her that the sippy cup is only associated with feeding time in the kitchen, or high chair and not for naptime or bedtime.

Always remember to praise your child. You can use phrases such as “who’s mommy’s big girl? YOU, because we drink our milk from our cup“. “Look at mommy’s big girl, drinking from her big girl cup”. “Oh you did it, and drink from the big girl cup”. These all work for potty training too!

Good Luck! Happy smiles to your and your little girl!

Please stay firm and do not give your child a sippy cup with milk in it at bedtime. The reason why: it isn't good as it is a great medium for bacteria to grow and start forming cavities in the baby teeth and could also lead to gum problems. Both my children were off all bottles etc. at 12 months. The longer you prolong this and the more you give in, the harder it will be. Kids wear us down and tire us out, so it is always easier to take the least resistive path. However, it wouldn't be in your child's best interests to continue with the cup.

A little about me: I'm a 60-year-old grandmother. I have two adult children and a 12-year-old grandson. Good Luck!

My 26 month old also has to have his sippy cup when going to bed, but it is always filled with water. After he brushes his teeth at night that is all he is allowed to have, so I try to give him his milk before it's time to get ready for bed. Once in bed, he usually takes a few swigs and that's it, but he always likes to know it is there for him and I see no problem with that. It is a dry state we live in, even I have to have water before I go to bed.
I'd say a good bedtime routine and water in the cup and making sure daddy has the same rules as suggested by all the other moms so far is great advice and there is really no harm in any of it!

From a dental standpoint, get her off the cup immediately!!! The last thing you need is a 21 month old with milk-related tooth decay. That hurts more than losing the cup...
But you can wean, so to speak, by putting water only in it. It may be less appealing. Also, can you rock her, snuggle her, give her some substitution for the nurturance of the cup?

First of all don't feel guilty for being a single mom. I was a single parent with 2 girls. I don't think there is an easy transition. Not letting her have it would be my solution and when she crys it's ok to let her cry. Not giving into her is important. If she is using the cup for comfort then spend a few minutes with her cuddling, telling her a story and making sure she knows you are close. Since you are seperated it's important that your ex does the same so both parents are consistent since her life has changed somehwat. If you need anymore advice please email me at ____@____.com