Breaking the 18 Mos Child of Hitting

Updated on March 26, 2007
D.P. asks from Dublin, OH
5 answers

My son started hitting me about a month ago whenever he is upset. If Dad tells him no, he comes to me and hits me! I grab his hand and tell him "no" everytime, but it doesn't seem to phase him. Other ideas or just keep repeating myself until he stops?

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

If grabbing his hand and saying no does not phase him, then he may not be realizing that it's actually wrong. Have you tried time outs for hitting you? Two minutes of having to sit in a time out may help some. Telling him it hurts you and you do not like that behavior may also help. Find a "punishment" that elicits a reaction, so that you know he realizes he has done something wrong may help stop the problem.

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B.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I gave my son a time out everytime he hit me. It worked.

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L.A.

answers from Columbus on

Hi D. - First thing, make sure that you and your husband's form of discipline with your son is NEVER hitting, even on the bottom. It would be extremely difficult to teach him not to hit if he gets hit when he does something wrong. My daughter had trouble with biting other children when she was that age...unfortunately, the only thing that FINALLY worked (just before she was kicked out of daycare) was to bite her back...that's right...she bit me on the arm and then I bit her back on the arm at the same place she bit me. She then looked at me with amazement like "wow, you hurt me!" and then I said firmly "no biting". That was the end of the biting for her. The problem was that other children never bit her back so she didn't realize the pain she caused them. However, you can't do that with a child that hits because you will simply be hit back. I think the best thing to do would be what "Nanny 911" teaches and that is: use your firm tone and say "no hitting" then put him in a "naughty chair" (or wherever you decide) and have him sit there for 2 minutes (they said one minute of timeout for how old they are...e.g. two years old = 2 min). When he fights you, get down and his level, look him in the face and hold his arms down firmly, then say "no hitting, use your words not your hands" and send him back to the naughty chair. It will take A LOT of patience and discipline on the part of you and your husband to pull this off, however, CONSISTENCY IS KEY, and it will work!

L. ;-)

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B.M.

answers from Columbus on

that's what i did and it seemed to work. I think and i've found at this age (my son is now 24 months) a lot of the discipline is what you're doing ie. telling him no and holding him. My son hates this but it does make a difference i've found that forcing him to look you in the eyes, whether that be by you holding his chin or not. They hate it! But I believe it communicates that you demand respect which is what he needs to learn, to respect his mommy that is.
hope this helps you!

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S.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

What works for us is not saying "No!" We just take the child's hand and stroke with it, saying "gentle." It's sort of become a game for my 12 month old. She starts hitting and I say "gentle". She quickly changes over to stroking.

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