Breaking a Bad Habit - Hagerstown,MD

You need to stop co sleeping all together. My theory is don't start what you don't want to keep doing until they are grown. what we do in the evenings is do something calming maybe watch something like animal planet on tv. It's not eye catching or something they want to jump up and run around. Calming...
If you have been co sleeping it's not going to be calming once you get to the room no matter what. She's had you in bed and no matter what you do she won't know what your doing and why. No need to feel you can explain. To get through it the quickest and easies you need to just do it and not stop. Put her to bed the way you would expect. Read a book in bed, lay down, turn out light and leave. If she yells or gets up come in every 5 min or so and put her back down not talking and leave. Don't Talk. She isn't going to understand there is nothing to explain. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck. It should only take a week.

F.,

Unfortunately I do not have any advice. I have raised both of my children the same way for the most part. My daughter (the oldest) and my son both nursed to sleep until they stopped nursing. My daughter will still try to climb into our bed, but we just pick her up and bring her back into her room, after a few weeks of this she stops and sleeps through the night again. My son is 18 months old, and has slept through the night 19 times his entire life. He refuses to sleep in our bed, so I am stuck with holding him in the rocking chair until he falls asleep. He plays with my hair to fall asleep, much like your daughter holds your ear. He wakes up approx 5 times a night. We tried cold turkey - for 1 hr straight I would just lay him back down in his crib when he stood. After that hour he was crying so hard that it took me another hour to get him back to sleep, I broke down and picked him up, and I was crying too. That method just does not work for us.

So in the end, I can relate to your troubles, I can identify with every one of your three points listed... and I have no help. :( I plan to read the suggestions other moms have left for you, and if I find anything in my research I will send them along as well. I hope things improve for you and you begin to get some sleep before baby #2 arrives, as you know you won't get much then.

I'm pretty much in the same boat. I have a 3 1/2 year old son who sleeps well, but my 2 year old daughter wakes in the early morning hours and we bring her into our bed. She falls back to sleep easily and sleeps through morning. She doesn't hold my ear, but she has to be right up on my shoulder or in my face - like, my husband doesn't even get that close! I'm 33 weeks pregnant and sleeping is a joke anyhow. I now have to put a pillow between my belly and DD so her movements/kicks don't hurt my stomach. I've known for months that I need to break this habit, but, well, it's been a rough 8 months and this is just the easiest way to get everyone back to sleep. But with another on the way in probably 5 weeks, yikes, I'm going to start keeping her in her crib. Here's what I'm going to try:

1. Tonight I had a talk with her about sleeping all night in her bed. Don't know if that will mean anything to her at 4am, but it was worth a try.
2. When she wakes crying for me to come get her, I'll go to her crib and lay her down, put the blanket back on... I may take it one step at a time and sit in the chair next to her crib until she dozes off. Later I'll eliminate that and hopefully she'll stop waking.

She can get out of her crib, but hasn't at night, only during the day. Hopefully that will still be the case when I put my foot down.

I have the same prob almost but with nursing back to sleep. I think if it was me I would just let her until she is secure enough not to (it does wear off). I mean as long as she isnt holding it all night long and you cant sleep. I assume she eventually falls to sleep? If you are having another baby soon its even harder to "push her away" so she wont be jealous or anything with baby. My first girl was the SAME way and then her and baby together. Its IS hard but dont last very long and makes easier for no jealousy or anythng with baby but rather bonding. THey are close now at 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 yrs. old. This may not be ANY of what you were looking to hear? I am sure you will get some other great ideas besides. That is so funny....your ear. They are something arent they! Good Luck
K.

hi F.,
you definitely want to have this in hand before the next baby comes. you really can't take care of a newborn with a toddler hanging on your ear! i think you need to address the problems individually so as not to overwhelm her. i'd love to offer some no-drama solution, but with an ingrained habit there is almost inevitably drama.
i know i'll be decried as a meanie, but i'd go cold-turkey on the ear. give another woobie, and detach her firmly and repeatedly from the ear. it might mean a couple of days of no sleep for the whole family, but if you are there for her and letting her snuggle, she won't feel abandoned or unloved or anything else that will put her into therapy.
once that's addressed you can look at establishing a relaxing bedtime routine. if bath and book aren't enough give her more, but be aware that for some littles there isn't enough 'more' you can give 'em and there comes a point when you simply have to decide whether or not you want zero crying or are okay with hours being dedicated to going to bed.
but first deal with the ear.
khairete
S.

Hi, she is still at an age where she does not have a concept of time or hope, and knows that she is safe with you. If you and your husband can continue to allow her to sleep with you, it will not harm her and you will all sleep better. This is common in many other cultures, not to put a child in a crib and so forth, and it is normal to want to be next to the warm, cuddly human that she feels "right and safe" with: you. You might try a few drops of lavender essential oil on her pillow, try playing soft, sleepy music and giving her your finger or something cuddly and furry to hold. She will eventually feel safe enough to fall asleep on her own and will want her own bed when she is "securely attached." My 14-year old son slept with us until he was 3 and fell asleep right away when in bed with us, which may be more than you and your husband want to take on. He slept between me and the wall and I slept next to my husband. He has turned out to be very independent and secure in himself, and we all got a good night's sleep. I hope this helps and best of luck,
L.

I used the Sleep Sense Program and still have all the info in my computer...I can send you the files if you like. I paid 40 bucks and let me tell you it made life so much easier! it has tips and workbooks for ALL ages and includes naptimes and bedtimes. my daughter is now 21 months old and sleeps from 7pm to 7 or 8 am...with a one hour nap during the day! and no crying! (anymore) thanks goodness! shoot me an email if you want the info! ____@____.com

This is NOT a quick fix, but read 2 books: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" and "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". Not cover to cover or anything, but you'll find the parts that apply to your situation. By "not a quick fix", I mean probably a few weeks...6 at most.

I would relax and not rush her. I would also not make too many changes too close to baby #2 arriving. I would try substituting something else to help her fall asleep and intro it while she still has you. I read to my kids before bed and sometimes sing. So you could sit up in bed while she lays down and you read until she is asleep or you could stroke her hair while you sing her to sleep. I have six kids most fall asleep on their own now but we still have things we do as a family before bed. We are usually reading a book of some kind together and praying together but my 4yr. likes to have an extra story before bed. Don't let people tell you that if you don't make her stay in bed all night or fall asleep on her own that you are spoiling or damaging her. People do not go to therapy as adults because they were shown to much love as children and they do not develop insomnia later in life because they had bedtime stories or someone singing to them while they drifted off as children.