Boys Won't Stay in Bed!!!

I have 4 children ranging in age from 9 years down to 10 months. I think with each child there was an age when they got out of the crib and into a toddler bed, there new found freedom meant, middle of the night walks to mom and dad's room. We just shuffled them right back to bed.

I recommend a book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: by Marc Weissbluth.

Currently my 4th child is 10 months and has yet to sleep through the night, so I need to take my own advice and work on this.

It may sound silly, but the boys getting up in the middle of the night are getting too much attention from you and your husband when they do it. Try this (note that it is a long process), when they get up the first time talk to them about it and put them back to bed. The second time, simply tell them that it is time for bed. Don't make a fuss, don't talk to them too much (I know, easier said then done). For each occurrence after that, just put them back in bed in silence. Kids are so smart, they understand that it is time for bed--you just have to break the routine of getting up with them. The less attention you give to them at bedtime, the less fun it is for them to get up in the middle of the night.

E.,

If your boys are sleeping on the couch, and staying there, then let them. Get a couple pillows and blankets, and then don't worry about it. At this point you need sleep more than you need to win. Your son may be ready to stop napping. You cannot MAKE someone go to sleep; you just can set conditions so they are comfortable to sleep. Get a couple sleeping bags, and turn your kids' sleep conflict into an adventure. Obviously, the baby will continue to wake you for feeding for a while, but if the rest of the family is sleeping more, that will help you.

Best wishes for more sleep and less difficulties,
K.

PS You can also consult www.askdrsears.com for other ideas.

My response is really more a series questions. Are you putting your children down for long naps? Or, are they eating something sugary late in the afternoon? I guess, I'm trying to discern the cause of their inability to stay asleep.

Do you have a baby monitor in the room? It is a difficult situation and a potentially dangerous one. Have you spoken with your pediatrician? I don't imagine that reasoning with them at their respective ages would work. Can you put bells on the gate so that you hear them as they try to escape?

Good luck! I hope these questions lead to positive change.

In regard to your boys, you may want to try putting them in bunk beds or let each have their own bed. It may be they are moving around a lot and waking each other up. I would try to make sure they have a routine each night. Try to engage them in quiet activities before bedtime. NO TV. If the TV is in the room with the couch, unplug it before you all go to bed. Give a bath, and have them brush their teeth. Give a snack, such as milk with cheese and crackers or yogurt. Dairy products are known for sleep inducing qualities. If they get out of bed, put them back in to bed. No exceptions. The first time you give in it gets worse. The key here is consistency and routine. Best Wishes and Good Luck!

p.s. I'm a soon to be a retired mom of 2 daughters, ages 27 and 20.

I think we have all been there at one point. I can't believe your kids have figured out how to take the gates down! I remember playing "musical beds" when my boys were small. They would start in their beds and move to our bed, then I would move to the couch, and the kids would come to the couch, then I would go to their beds and then they would come back to their bed, and it was just nuts!!! BUT, when I put them in the same room (in separate beds) they FINALLY stayed in their own beds. What I would do is start the bed time process VERY early so that all the times they would get up wouldn't take us late into the night. If it took 2 hours for them to settle down and go to sleep, I would start at 7:00pm. I just adjusted the start time by how long it actually took for them to go to sleep, it is WORK! The most important thing is being VERY consistent with your routine. BUT it wasn't until they were 3 and 4 years old until they finally went to bed on demand and stayed there all night long. My pediatrician also suggested a 1/2 teaspoon of Benadryl to make them drowsy until they started a pattern.

Not sure if your getting up with your 8 month old has any influence on the other children but your 8 month old should be going without any middle of the night feedings by now. Try giving your 8 month old some cereal right before bedtime and see if that will help you wean him of getting up. If you did this with your other children, it could be a cause of why they still get up now.

Dear E.,
It sounds like complete chaos. Why dont you put them in baby beds that they can't climb out of. The 3 1/2 year old may be entitled to sleep in a toddlers bed by now, but that should only be determined by his behavior. When I was a girl, babys had their mattresses lowered so that they couldn't get out. I remember trying to climb out of mine, so I must've been at least 3-years-old before I (or any other kid in those days) got to sleep in a real bed. Back then you went from a baby bed to a regular bed. Also,it could be that wetting themselves wakes them a little more often than it should. Stop the sugar and let them wear themselves out during the day because they sound like they are a little too easily roused for kids who should be tired out from playing all day. I wouldn't even give them a nap until they began to sleep through the night. Cut ou sugar completely, no drinks 2 hours before bed except for the nightly bottle, and if you must give them a nap (I know you probably need one)only let them nap for 1/2 hour a day. I wouldn't listen to anybody else if you decide to put them back in baby beds. Mom's determine each baby's readiness for a toddler bed, which I think are a complete waste of money because they are almost ready for twin beds by the time they sleep in a toddler bed. There may be some other issues at work here, but you can't let yur kids get up and do whatever they like during the night. That's not a healthy habit for any of you. In fact, you might want to take them to the park and let them play and run as much as they can to wear their little butts out. I'm sure you are tired and don't feel like taking them, so get one of your babysitters to work ALL DAY... JUST TAKING THEM OUTSIDE TO PLAY AALLLL DAYYYY. I know you are tired and overworked as a new mother with two toddlers and an 8-year-old, but if you don't get control of them, they could get hurt or hurt one another when they roam at night. Hope I helped a little. From a granmother who wears out her grankids before bed. My prayers to you. ____@____.com

Hi E.!
I have recently heard and implemented some new advice. My 4 yr old was getting out of bed frequently at night, just stalling. So, it was recommended that you make a "bed time pass". Just be creative, and even let your boys help. As you're creating them, explain to them the idea of it. The concept is that they are given one pass at bed time, allowing them out of bed one time only. In the morning, if they have only gotten out of bed once (or twice, depending on your preference), he gets a treat. You could have a chart, and add a star with each successful night, and after so many nights, they get a big prize. Given your sons' ages, I wouldn't have them wait too many nights before something "big". It's up to you to decide what is appropriate for you and your children, but hopefully this is some helpful advice. Good luck!

I know what you are going through, I am having some of the same trouble, but have found some help. There is a all natural herb called melintonin...I know thats not spelled right, but hope u get that. I have also took my small fan out of my room and put into theirs. This has helped a lot, so now the only time my oldest son gets up is to go to the bathroom. And I am able to get him right back to bed. There have been a lot of people on here to tell me to go to bed early, or to keep the room dark, but I have also failed to let them know that I don't live in town so it is already dark in their room...lol. Anyways I hope that some of this has helped you and good luck getting rest. I know I'm a busy mom also, but u have more little ones then I do...Good luck and best wishes