I’m having some concerns about my son’s potty learning. He has been spraying his pants for months, and then empting his bladder in the potty. I would like to help him get to the toilet in time, but without requiring him to do so. Sometimes he will just go to the toilet if he sees me going, but some days he is just “too busy.” Here’s his back story:
He started waking dry from naps at 16 months, so I started potty learning with him (letting him run around naked for 10-15 minutes every morning). By 19 months, he started taking himself to the toilet. By 21 months, he was at the 99% rate of success while naked and he night trained. I decided to put him in trainers, and he had a few days of bad accidents. Occasionally he would spray his pants, but he was mostly dry. Flash forward a few months, and that awful two year old distraction thing has taken over. He is just too busy to go to the toilet, so he sprays himself lightly and then goes to the toilet. Sometimes, when we are outside playing, he will relieve himself a tiny bit and then just wait until we go inside. I really don’t want him sitting in wet undies, especially with summer coming!
I would really like to help him to stop doing this. I don’t want him to be spraying his pants for the next 1-2 years! I’m afraid it will be a hard habit to break, the longer he keeps doing it.
I've tried having little chats with him, and every day I remind him that he needs to be responsible with his pee, putting all of it in the toilet, but he doesn't seem bothered by the spraying, it's no big deal to him.
So he's about two??? Change the vocabulary. Instead of reminding him and asking him, you tell him. "It's time to try and go potty." Then take him. Before you go out to play, have him try. Before his show starts...go potty. It's been a while...go potty. Eventually he'll do it on his own. But at two, you will still have physically take him. He'll get it mama. Hang in there!
He's doing great for his age, just has some control issues left.
I agree with the others that say to remind him before it gets too late so his urgency level isnt so high..
In the long term of things, potty training and it's issues will be behind you soon enough. It just takes some patience and of course the accidents before it becomes perfection.
Heck my husband still pisses himself, lol.
My seven yr old still is too busy to stop playing and go potty, he waits till the very last minute. The difference is, at 7 he has the control to not wet himself and just hurries to the bathroom. What I'm saying is he really won't learn to go before it's too late or almost too late for many years. So as S.B. says you TELL him it is time to go to potty, just like you tell him it is time to take a bath, time to go to bed, etc etc.
If you haven't tried this already, you might want to set a timer for, like, every 45 minutes or whatever. When the timer goes off, he needs to go "try." When you're out, use the alarm on your cell phone. For a while, you'll need to be his reminder. Keep reminding him until the accidents stop, then lengthen the time between reminders. Especially with the "distractor factor", you'll need to be diligent for at least 3 weeks (it takes that long to form a habit). Until some kids are around 5 or 6 they need parental reminders. Some just get so involved in what they're doing that they can't listen to their bodies -- and some just don't mind being a little damp as much as they mind being interrupted.
Sorry -- you won't be able to count on him remembering for a while. Gentle reminders will help!
When training my daughter I took her to the bathroom ever 30 mins to an hour. "N, do you have to go potty? Let's go check just to be sure." I sat her down and chatted with her for a bit, even got a little silly to help her relax, if she went.."Look at that, you did need to go. You need to tell me from now on now that you're a big girl." At night/nap we did pull ups with the disappearing pictures if she was wet. She loved checking those when she got up.
You may have to start just taking him every 30mins. Interrupt his play and just take him. If you want him more independent you can use an egg timer. Set it let it go off and interrupt him so he can get up and go himself.
Good luck.
My son also potty trained at that age. The main thing you need to do is not ASK him if he needs to go, you just take him, every hour or two (however often he normally goes.) You just keep doing it, over and over, "it's time to go potty now!"
He clearly has control so it's not a developmental issue. They call it "training" for a reason, and it's really no different than training a puppy. It's not a choice, it's just a matter of lots of repetition and praise, and it naturally becomes a habit :)
When I was potty training my son, the hardest part was to get him to stop what he was doing to go potty. So....if he peed while watching TV...then no more TV for the day; if he peed while we were at the zoo...then we left; etc. etc. He got the idea pretty quickly that he needed to go potty if he wanted to continue doing what he was doing.
I'm with SB; don't ask, tell. "It's time (like a fact of life, non-negotiable) to go use the potty."
I've found that 2 is a great time for kids to practice their "no"s. That is to say, if we give youngsters at this age a chance to say "no", they will, even if it is not in their own best interests. Add to this the busy-ness of being a toddler and engaged in play. When I was a nanny, I discovered that when I asked kids "do you need to..." I was usually met with a no-- and an accident 10-20 minutes later. When I said "It's time to go to the potty.... I'll hold/save your toy for you".... no problems. (In situations where there's more than one kid, I always offer to hold a toy, save whatever they're working on, so that they don't come back to find someone else using those items. I do this with my preschool groups too...works like a charm.)
I'd also stop talking about it too much to him. He really will have to 'get it' on his own. Sometimes kids really enjoy the attention they get when we are changing them, etc. And once you can see that he's able to change his own clothes, stop doing it for him. Just take him to the bathroom with clean clothes and let him do the changing.
Also consider making a potty place outside, with a travel potty. We did that the first summer my son was learning to use the toilet.... it helped a lot.
"Kids develop at different rates, in different areas, and we all get where we need to go. I truly believe this, and know this to be true."
Sorry to throw your words back at you as we all get caught up. He sounds developmentally where he realistically should be in this area. Like others have said, Tell, don't remind. Kids KNOW what they are supposed to do but putting into action isn't always possible for them. Telling them to go when it should be time will help him be successful at this and develop the habit.
Stop worrying about this so much. He started potty training VERY young and this is normal. Pottying successfully is developmental, and he's not developmentally THERE yet. You are not correct in saying that it's habit that will be harder to break later. What is correct is that it is a hard habit to LEARN now. It will be easier to get it right later.
Give him incentives, like a sticker program, each day. If he has only one or two accidents a day, he gets a sticker. If he gets a sticker at the end of the day for 3 days, he gets a treat. Show him the calendar, clap and act excited that he has one day with a sticker, then say how nice it will be for tomorrow to get another sticker. If he has more accidents, say to him "Aww honey, I'm sorry you don't get a sticker today. I know you wanted to have dry pants. Let's start over tomorrow." Be positive with him, never fuss, and make a big deal out of earning a sticker.
When he gets 2 days in a row, draw a line between the stickers and draw little hearts on the line. That will help him see the difference in "days-in-a-row" and what doesn't get a treat. Same thing for 3 days in a row. Don't make the treat terribly big or important. Make it something that is fun to do with mommy, like baking cookies or something.
Also, remind him every hour "Do you need to go to the potty?" That makes him think about it, and recognize the need quicker than he normally does.
Good luck,
Dawn
Try sitting him on the potty every 2 hours.
Both of my boys didn't potty train until they were 3. I was of the philosophy - who was trained - me or the child? They both were potty trained (see below) within 2-3 days of them telling me that they wanted to use the potty. Older child has a hard time with the bowel movements for another 6 mos.
