Boundary Problems with an ex...help?!!

Omg get her away from you and your child she is delusional for some reason she is taking it that u are already gone and needs to step in and if u are not carefull she will walk off one of these times and dont come back.she is clearly not respecting anything u say and she doesnt care because she feels like she is right and can do what she wants.my advice get a new godmother. U dont need someone who has little sane capacity going on around your little blessing one day she might snap she needs help herself she cant help u out if she cant follow simple directions. Keep your eye on that one she is crazy. Good luck u will need it with her if she continue to do this.

I would not tell her that the legal paperwork has been changed. Let's hope she never needs to find out and that you two can be around until your baby is a grown man.
Inviiting herself over, coming along on date night and strong reactions when she is not the one to babysit, all point to some serious mental issues.
I would certainly set the boundaries as a couple to her: YOU are his parents and need to be with him. YOU need to know where he is at all times. YOU decide how he will be treated and when he needs to be diapered and when he needs to be in your arms. I would try to limit her visits and access. As you would to any person who invites themselves into your life more than you would like, it is time to be adamant about your needs since it involves your son's safety. If she gets upset, then be even more careful. Find out all you can about her and her past. You may even want to talk to professionals about this, like the police, since it sounds awefully close to stalking.

Hello, I have found when working with children (and yes, she is acting like a child) who need to be told something negative that you want to start with something positive, put in the negative and then end with a positive note. I would make sure she knows that you understand her love for your son, but she needs to remember that he is you and your husband's son and that there are these boundaries. I would tell her that if she can't stay within those boundaries you will have to lessen her time with your son. Don't beat around the bush, make it very clear. Then remind her that you want her to be a part of your son's life, and that you know she wants what is best for him. If she can't get it, cut her out and don't worry about anything except your family on this matter. I know this sounds cold, but I wouldn't trust her out of my sight with him.
Good luck with your precious baby.
K. K.

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Definitely take her off of the paperwork as guardian but DO NOT tell her. Doesn't sound like she can handle it. But have the talk you are planning to have with her-if she can't change then I don't know what to tell you. I would be very afraid if I were you and I would make sure ALL caregivers know of her and that it is not OK to let her in. Your best hope is for her to have a baby of her own- NOT saying that I think that would be a good thing for her or a baby-but it would definitely get her away from you.

Now I don't want to defend her because some of her issues do seem out of line, but others...she might not know any better.

I remember when my BFF had her first daughter I wanted to do stuff like put her to bed (or get her up from her nap or something). If you're not a mother, you don't necessarily realize what a weird request that is.

2 years later, after I had my son, I went back and apologized for my behavior, lol.

Also, my attorney told us (when we had our wills drawn up) to make sure we DIDN'T tell people who was named as the guardian. We told several people that they'll have a role in his life (financially or in other ways) but don't tell anyone who's getting the child.

Good luck!

WOW! Can you say Rebecca De Mornay, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.

First, I would make different arrangements for your son in case of something happening, this woman does not sound like a fit guardian. You need to tell the new person, and make sure they are a part of yours sons life, but you may not have to tell the old guardian right away. If/when she finds out this will probably cost you the friendship, so you need to think about if that is ok with you in thinking about when and how to tell her. Reading your post I just thank god I have my mom as my son's guardians, I already know she would do a great job, she did with me :)

Best of luck and Blessed Be.

It's very sad, but she's not stable and needs help. She's not evil, just not in a good place mentally. Once you've read these replies, I think your BF should read them as well. Everything you have said about her is with good intentions, just concern. Good luck!

Our lawyer had us notify the original guardians that they were no longer guardians. It was their idea as the lady had a breakdown after her parents were murdered. Still, the lawyer wanted to make sure everyone knew the new arrangements, all paperwork was redone, and people KNEW the new arrangements in case she later tried to claim the child. Afterall, she is now unstable. I would NOT let this woman around your child and I would end the relationship if possible. Your instincts are right.

Sounds like that movie where the parents hire a nanny who secretly tries to steal the kids and husband...

It appears that you already know what you should do. I think it would be ok to say her emotional dependency towards your son makes you a bit uncomfortable and let her say her side. I'm sure that it's probably a) because your son is the bomb! and b) she feels a need to have her own child. She needs some professional help and let her know you are willing to go with her.

I'm not sure if after talking with her, things are going to improve without her seeking professional help but at least you will feel you did what you could before severing ties completely.

This girl sounds dangerous. It seems she has several things going on, probably including some fantasy where she is your child's mother, maybe even with she and your BF as a happy little family. Now she "needs" to have a baby? Why are you tolerating your partner's ex inserting herself in all your business? Friends don't treat friends by manipulating others to try to influence you. Therapy and multiple meds over several years, coupled with her irrational behavior, make her unsuitable to babysit, let alone take over raising your child, under any circumstances. Please, gently ease this nutjob out of your lives.