Hi moms.
I was just on Amazon.com looking at parenting books for moms raising boys. Someone recommended Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys, but after reading a little about it, I am not sure it is the book for me. I also looked at That's My Son (forget the author), and same thing there. Not sure it is for me. I am not interested in very general information that any of us knows or could get from our mom friends about parenting skills. I am just looking for a book that talks about the boy-specific behaviors and the ways boys tick... and how a mom can best nurture a son to help him become a responsible, compassionate, good man.
Just wondered if any of you read either of the books I mentioned or if you have any other suggestions of books for moms raising sons.
Thanks for any input!
Thank you all for your book reviews! Just to clarify, I am not really looking for a book about parenting in general, and I am very familiar with a lot of the parenting stuff out there, having worked with families and children with behavior difficulties for years. I was just looking for something that highlights the "nature of boys"... Having grown up an only child, and a rather well behaved girly girl at that, I just wanted something to give me some insight into boys, what makes them tick, and how they differ from girls... I will definitely look into some of your suggestions. For those of you who asked, my son's father is in his life, but the most consistent and positive male figure in my son's life is my father. We live next door to my parents, and my son and my father enjoy a very positive and close relationship, which I know is very important to my son and his development.
Again, thank you all for your thoughts!
I have read the Wonder of Boys and Why Gender Matters. I got a lot more out of Why Gender Matters. Wonder of boys goes on a lot about setting up proper roles models and "tribes" which isn't really something that I can apply living so far away from my family. It had good points but I liked Leonard Sax better. Let us know which one you read as I would like to read more!
I was given "The Wonder of Boys" by my SIL and it's very good. What they need, from a father, from a mother & their Peers at different ages. The author escapes me, but that is the title for sure......
If you find a book let me know also. I am dealing with a lot with my almost two year old son. he is a trip. I would go to the bookstore and look myself. look at barnes and noble and look and borders. I know it is hard dealing with a young boy and all the issues of temper tantrums,hitting,biting and pinching just to name a few. the best thing i can say is to use your common sense and try not let him get the best of you. I have to tell myself iam the grownup and he is the kid. I wish you luck
I love Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph - funny, practical and compassionate - great.
Hi L.,
Someone recommended " The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian, Ph.D. This came from a childcare director with three boys of her own.
Good Luck
C.
Hi, L., I have three sons (right now 11, 10, and 9). I have read Bringing up boys and now keep it on my bedside table for reference. It has many times helped me to see that my boys are "normal", and that boys and girls are "hard-wired" differently. I highly recommend it. Dr. Dobson is a name that you can depend on with his 30+ years of experience in child developement and psychology. There are two more books I'd like to read about raising boys called "Raising a modern day knight" and "That's my son". "That's My Son" is specifically to help moms with raising boys of character. Kudos to you for looking for help when your son is still so young. There really is so much out there that raising childeren is not a journey you need to travel alone.
I really enjoyed "The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian. He has written a number of other books on boys but I haven't read those yet. If you check with your local library, they may have it and you could check it out before buying.
L.,
I read a really good book called Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax. It talks about the ingrained differences between male and female children and they play a role in their social and academic development. One thing that I learned was that in disciplining a girl you can say "Imagine how you'd feel if someone did that to you" but for boys this would be to abstract and discipline should be more concrete such as "you do this again and I'll take your favorite toy away" etc. There's other good stuff in the book that I can't recall offhand b/c I read it about 2 years ago.
Hi, I have read Bringing up boys...twice (: It is very good and very boy specific. I have heard of That's my son, btu haven't read it yet.
Bringing up boys does help explain the differences in the sexes and how they think and act and what makes them tick. I would recommend it. It is from a Christian World view, so you need to keep that in mind as well.
I haven't read any other books on boys.
A.
Compassionate mothers help make compassionate sons but more importantly, a gentle, loving father who is also consistent and reliable has the most influence on how his son will turn out. Is your sons father this kind of person? Do you know anyone who would fit this mold that could be a role model for your child and be stable enough to be around for a long time? (Maybe an uncle etc.)
I have four boys and just found out boy number five is on his way. Dr Dobson is great but he advocates spanking which I don't agree with.
I have found that its great to read books about each developmental level so you can figure out what behaviors are typical at each age as well as emotional behaviors.
Many parenting books not geared towards boys are equally as good. One I like is called 'The power of positive parenting' by Dr Glenn Latham.
There are a number of good books out there by Richard and Lynda Eyre about teaching your children values and responsibility also.
Both authors have raised several children successfully and so I trust their opinions.
Good luck, having boys is exhausting but so much fun!
".
Hi L.,
Raising any child means having a consistent schedule and discipline measures,and open honest communication. Listening to what the child has to say and giving him choices that is appropriate for his age.
Reward good behavior with praise and inappropriate behavior with consequences that can be set up before the inappropriate behavior happens.
Of course other people can give you specifically what you ask for.
Good luck. All the best. D.
Hi L.,
The book that helped me the most was the book Mothers and Sons. I can't remember the author. But it does just what you asked, it explains the the boy mindset. She explains what makes a a boy tick and how a boy thinks and reacts to situations. I read it when my son was around 12, and it really dispelled my fears and made me understand how normal my son was (is). Women think differently than men, and boys think differently than girls, and that is a disadvantage when a mom is raising a son. We, as moms, don't react sometimes in the way the boy is needs us to because we take their actions, reactions, and words differently than intended. It just made a world of difference to me. I wish I could remember the author's name, cause the book has been around a while, and I don't know how easy it will be to find. PS She also wrote one about Fathers and daughters, I believe.
Hope that helps,
L.
