Hello Mama's
I have a friend that has just got out of a terrible domestic violence relationship she was in for 10 years. They have a 5 year old daughter. She is going to start counseling state ordered but they have it scheduled to start until May 2012.
I would like to get her some books that she can begin to read to begin her healing process.
Can any of you offer any suggestions as to which book or books to get?
Anyone else that has been through this or knows someone that has any ideas are welcome.
Thank you so much!
Thank you all so much I am going to the book store tonight. She is coming over tomorrow.
Curious to see the responses; your friend is in my thoughts. You're a great friend for being there for her!
A book that was really helpful for me was "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them."
I'm the type of person that needs to now WHY something happened or WHY someone is the way they are. In order for me to walk away and put aside my own guilt and begin to rebuild my self esteem, I needed to know why he was doing what he was doing. This book really went into it. In reading it I was able to begin to accept and understand that it really WASN'T my fault, there was nothing I did to derserve it and nothing I could have done to change it, and that there was nothing I could do to fix him. It let me let go.
Good book to start is Ginny NiCarthy's "You Can Be Free: Any Easy to Read Handbook for Abused Women." NiCarthy has also written another book to go with it and has additional resources that can be found on the website AbusedWomen.org.
A little more clinical but a good resource is Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence."
Try calling Safe Nest here in town at ###-###-####. They may be able to direct your friend to some support groups for women in similar situations. She'll need all the support she can get right now, so a group setting, in addtion to the wonderful friend she has in you, will help tremendously.
Best wishes to you both.
J. F.
While formal counseling does not occur for 5 months there should be support groups in the area that either don't charge or have a nominal charge like 1 to 5 dollars as this covers the cost of space rental or snacks or speakers. Check with social workers with both the local hospitals or counselors at the county. They usually have the list of area groups and physical people usually help more than books. There are powerful books out there but I think this would give her others to lean on and learn from.
I have heard many recommendations for the book The Gift of Fear, by Gavin deBecker.
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. He's an authority on the topic.
She probably has post traumatic stress disorder from the experience also.
I agree with those who have recommended Why Does He Do That? I know...I have been there. I feel for her, it is so painful. I will pray for her.
