My daughter who is 3 has been potty trained at home for about two months. When she first needed to go she asked and we took her and that was that. The problem is at school she won't go poop in the potty. She refuses. We have tried having her clean up her accidents when we get home. School has told her she is getting her pretty panies all yucky. We have talked to her about it. We have talked to school about trying to have her sit on the potty longer and sing twinkle twinkle. I think if she could get one in at school she would be fine it is just getting that first one in. At home she got the first one in and rearly has accidents maybe if we are running around at the park she may have one. I am at my wits end with her and refusing to poop in the school potty. Any suggestions would be great.
So far we have been doing well. We had her clean up her last accident and now she is happy to poop in the potty. Maybe before it was magic they got clean and she didn't relize what went into cleaning them. She seems content for now. I hope we don't go back. I really hate cleaning poopy panties every day.
Maybe she is afraid to use public toilets for whatever reason. I know when I was younger I had an incident where I went poop in the toilet and it overflowed so I would not go poop in a public toilet after that until recently.
My daughter only goes at school if there is a reward. She gets smarties if she poops at school and expects them when goes at home too! Maybe if you take a bag to the school, they can try it. If you are doing it and so are they she may catch on!
Good Luck!
R.,
My daughter had the same problem. Finally we ended up bribing her. We told her she would get a new barbie (her favorite) when she pooped in the potty at school. She did it that week and once she realized it wasn't that bad, now she does it all the time. Hang in there!
try to be patient...i know it's hard...the yuckiest things to have to handle or clean up has to be poo and puke right...but some children will actually try to hold in there poo if they r not comfortable there...obviously she is not comfy going poo at school...maybe they can try the reward system...maybe you can work up to something special when she makes it the whole day, then makes it a whole week...nothing big--dinner at mcdonald's, ice cream night--a small toy...maybe a little more privacy would help...it sounds like she is receiving alot of attention from this and stressing you out a bit...try not to convey any of that to her...some children love attention regardless of where they get it...we all learn to make it to the bathroom so she will surely pass this phase in no time...maybe until then you could try putting her in plain white panties and getting some bleach to keep them sanitary and tell her she can have her princesses back when she is able to keep them clean....good luck...but don't worry you will make it through!!
My daughter had some difficulty with this as well. Sometimes, they are too busy playing at school that by the time she realizes that she needs to go poop, it is too late. There is a comfort level involved also. We had to go back to pull ups at school for a few days when accidents were frequent until my daughter got it. We tried the clean up method also, but it didn't phase her. Watch her when she is at home- is there a certain time of day when she needs to poop? If she poops in her pretty panties, but then has to throw them away because they are too dirty, how will she feel? We also did stickers, stamps, skittles etc... for a positive reinforcer. Good luck and just keep trying!!
My son, who will be 4 in about a month, has problems with going poop when away from home. The problem for him is that he still uses a potty seat because he is scared of falling in without it. He also has a hard time leaving the action when there is a lot going on.
Is the toilet at school too high or big for your daughter? I'm guessing girls get use to sitting on toilets faster than boys, but I know public toilets can be higher.
Other than that it seems like you (and school) just have to work on getting her to sit for longer. Does anyone stay with her to keep her company when she goes at school? Someone could just stay close enough to talk to her. If a teacher doesn't have time another girl could stay at the door to "help" her. I would just talk to the school and come up with some ideas to help her.
I think you are right about her getting just one in at school. Let them know. If they can give her just a little extra help she will probably get the hang of it.
GOOD LUCK.
Be careful...this can turn into a control issue. I have a 3 year old daughter and I have gone through this as well. She would take off her pants and poop in a hiding place around the house...like in the closet. I was flabbergasted.
First, consider that your daughter is feeling more modest as she ages. My daughter doesn't like anyone to be in the bathroom with her when she is pooping. She is becoming aware of her body and frankly pooping in front of someone is embarrassing to her. Maybe at school they are unintentionally making her feel uncomfortable by their presence. My daughter knows she can ask for help wiping (as I am right outside the door) but she doesn't want me to see her poop in the toilet (she flushes before I come in and she doesn't want me (or dad or her brothers) to tell her it stinks (this offends her).
Second, consider that she may be constipated. This was another issue I ran into with the whole accident thing. When children get constipated it really hurts to sit on the toilet. I know juice helps, but sometimes the longer she would wait to go the worse it got. I found reading her a story on the potty (or singing a song through the door) helped.
Personally, I think the trick is to convince her it is HER idea to poop in the potty like a big girl (not yours or schools). I think it is more helpful to reward her when she goes to poop in the potty or tries to poop in the potty than to punish her for accidents or intentionally pooping in her pants. I guess I am saying punishment doesn't work in bathroom issues. I sincerely hope this helps, B. C
Does she pee in the school potty? My friend had a similar problem. Her daughter wouldn't go at all at pre-school. They had an automatic flush toilet that she was scared of. One of the teachers takes her to a manual flush toilet and there have been no more problems. Hope this helps!
Just keep practicing and be patient because if you just give up it will never work!! I got lucky with my 4 yr. old boy I started at 2 it took 1 week for peeing and 1 week for pooping and the summer before he started school i started helping him practice wiping. This is the 2nd year of pre-k and he still has problems getting wiped but he is getting better at it. I have an 8 month old daughter and she will prob. be my problem but i hope not. Good luck and just be patient with her she is still young.
