J.B.
As far as getting him when you're supposed to... don't let her threaten you. All you need is a copy of your custody paperwork and you can go to the police station in her area and they will escort you to her house and remove the child for you (it doesn't matter if your backed up on child support or anything, a judge wrote the order and its their job to enforce it)... no one wants to do that of course. It would be traumatic for the child. But if she wants to threaten you remind her that on your time, you have the upper hand, period. Maybe if she recognizes that she is not the only one with an element of control (because she has him) then she'll be more reasonable. My hunny's ex used to do the same thing... we told her we'd bring the cops if we had to... we got the boys that weekend and our next weekend on time and ever since, she's been having us take them every weekend (guess she realized having a break is nice!) Right now she is probably being controling and clinging to what she is using as a manipulation tool with everything she's got... "the kid is mine and if you want him you'll have to jump through this hoop, and this one, and..." she's excersing her power over you-don't let her. And remind her that using your son as a tool is damging for everyone, maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it (i doubt it). GOOD LUCK!