Biting - Castro Valley,CA

My grandson (a normally happy and cooperative boy) bit a few times in daycare at about that age, so we did lots of research and asked lots of questions about this very common stage. It is usually frustration or sometimes just too much excitement (like a nipping puppy) that triggers the bite, and sometimes the discomfort of teething is also a contributing factor.

For such young children, punishment/correction after the fact is far less effective than "shadowing" the child during those situations in which he's most likely to bite.

When the tension begins to build, stick close to the little guy, and remind him gently "No biting." Give him something else to distract him, talk to him calmly to help him reset his emotions, remove him from the area, if necessary. Give him words for his feelings – upset, mad, sad – and sympathize with his frustration. You can even give him some alternative ways to act out his feelings, if that helps him deal with his very real need to "do" something.

But redirect him before he actually bites for the fastest and most peaceful resolution of the problem. My grandson and a couple of other "biters" his daycare dealt with were quickly corrected by this gentle means.

If you miss and your son bites again, please don't bite him. This does sometimes shock a child into not biting. It also sometimes reinforces the behavior and makes a child more aggressive. If he bites again, firmly but peacefully separate him from his victim and give first aid and sympathy to the bitten child. Then turn to your son and demand "NO BITE" in a stern but not angry voice. Give him something else to do.

Some moms demand an apology at that point, but I think that may simply be teaching a child to be dishonest and discount his own feelings, which create other problems later on. You should, however, model sincere apology toward the other child (and his parents). Kids learn best what they see demonstrated.

So in summary, what works best seems to be stay alert to the child's behavior, intercept before biting (works for hitting, too), give the child words to express his feelings, be firm but kind with your commands, and redirect the child's attention and energy.

Unfortunately, this is a very common phase. One thing you can try is a series of books that includes Teeth Are Not For Biting. Our son was a hitter, so we had that version. The series is geared for very young kids and can help to convey the right points.

My son was a serial biter. He'd bite anyone anywhere for NO reason. No one was safe. The key to fixing the problem is to figure out the cause, which you have. Frustration and lack of communication skills. Be very firm and consistent in taking away the toy he is biting over and work with him on some really basic communication skills (aka telling brother no!) Also work on building some patience and 'please' (aka make him wait a few moments before handing his snack to him.) Good luck!

Hello, I have taken a strong stand on this issue with not only my 5 children, 12 grandchildren, but children I have cared for. I actually have a set of 2 yo twins I care for that are dear to me becasue they live next door to me,that restort to bitting toget what they want from one another. With twins that is usual becasue what one has must be more exciting than what they have right? My sweet daughter in law is a identical twin and we have friends with twins and they all say the same thing. .
I have used soap in the mouth a very small drop will do it( with my children only or with permission in writting from parents). So they learn that it is not going to be good and it is not worth it. In general with children --We have a staircase and when a child is in what kind of trouble depends how high up they have to sit. I do have windows so they can see out at these levals. I don't think that a bored child is going to learn anything from time out! I also have been putting them in a seperate area that makes them aware that thier lack of respect is not going to be acceptable. My son bought a skunk beanie baby and when they have to sit he lets them hold it as the STINKER AWARD, again it makes them see that they are out of line but they are not bored. If we are all outside and someone is in trouble then they have to sit until they are able to understnad they must behave. If a child is VERY YOUNG and yours would fall into that for me I let them sit at the bottom 3 stairs near the bird cage until I say come out. I have personally learned that with my own 5 children and 12 grandchildren along with the Day Care over the years punishment must be something not so much as harsh as maked them uncomfortable enough not to want to do it again for awhile. At 16-18 months old they might not get that concept. For the 1 year old I thought I'd try something new---recently bought a cute chair that she could only be in when in trouble --- oh right-- it talks when she sits down, it has a little lamp and a book that talks when she turns the page--- so she has claim on it and its just her chair so much for it being a time out chair! BUT she does really understand the stinker award part and doesn't like it at all. She understands that she only fets it when in trouble and when someone is not happy with her behavior( she is at the bite stage). So I cn suggest that you defuse it and take the power away from the child that is the problem ( it changes fast at times as to which is ) and see if any of it works. Seperation is hard on twins as they seem to rebound and then bond tight ans go against you. It is not that they don't love one another its just a knee reaction to what they want. Always remember that parenthood is an adventure with twists and turns like a theme park ride & at the end it was scarey at times but a lot of fun at others. Often you can't wait to go again. God Bless your efforts.

Immediately pull the biter away from his brother, give the stolen toy back, take him away from the situation to sit by himself.

Also, bite him back yourself! JUST enough for him to feel that it hurts. You do not have to leave a mark and certainly don't break skin! We did this with our daughter & it worked.