HELP! 14Mos Old Son Biting 2Yr Old Sister

Updated on June 21, 2007
J.G. asks from Glendale Heights, IL
7 answers

My son recently has been biting his sister when angry with her. He bit me once and his father once, but its mostly his sister. I have been trying to give him more attention lately to see if he was just jealous if that was it, but it's not.

Today's incident was the worst, and I'm at my witts end with this. I have no patience for the biting anymore and his sister is starting to hit back and trying discipline him herself when he does it. Today they were playing house with the baby and carrier. He wanted it and wouldn't leave her alone so I said let's share with your brother and get you the doll stroller and another baby. She had no problem doing so. As soon as she came out here and I turned my back for 10seconds...and he sinks his teeth right into her arm because now he wants the darn stroller and other baby. I tapped his hand and pointed to her arm. Then put him in his crib because he doesn't understand the concept of sitting in time out yet....or should I say have the attention spand for it yet. He cried for about 5 min and then I left him in there to see if he'd go to sleep because he didn't get much sleep yet. HELP SOMEONE!!! I NEED ADVICE.

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So What Happened?

Well, I called the Dr. to see what she thinks and am waiting for a response. We think he has behavioral issues because there are another of variety of incidents with screaming and waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. It's a long story and you'd practically have to live with me to catch it all, but I think we are going to evaluate him with the Dr. Someone suggested autism....I pray not. Please pray for our son and his health! Thanks.

More Answers

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

With my kids, I noticed that they all went through a biting phase. Most of the time, they bite because they don't realize how much it hurts. Essentially, all of my children only bit me once because once they did I bit them back. And not very hard either. The idea was to convey how much biting can hurt and then they stopped. Good luck!

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

I never had a biter but my mothr in law did (adopted a baby at 54)
Well he was a biter, she had a small water bottle that everytime he bite one of them she would squirt him it only took a couple of squirts and he stopped biting I don't know if I fully agree but it worked. Let me add when the biting stopped the squirt bottle turned into a game for them.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I know you are having a possible evaluation but I still think you need some strategies to deal with the current issue. First I would not use the crib as a "time out". The crib should be associated with sleep, safety, and his own space. If it is used as a punishment it could pose issues with napping and bedtime and confusion with being in trouble. Children older then one can have "time out" but it will look different. They may not be able to sit in the space but you can designate one. My suggestion would be to do something like this. Once your son bites you come over calmly and say in a firm voice, "no biting." Then remove him from the situation and place him in the designated time out space such as in the hall on a small rug or next to the couch or somewhere you can move him quickly and still be in ear/eye shot of your daughter. Sit him down and have him wait one minute and no more then one minute (one minute per age of child). You could say, "no biting" one more time as well. He may squirm stand etc as long as he is in that spot it doesn't matter how he does it. You may even have to hold him. After it is over you could walk him over to your daughter and find a resolution to the original issue. He may not understand this part yet but he will and your daughter will see good problem solving as well. I would do this EVERY time he bites even when out of town. Just roll up his little rug and take it with you. Consistency is huge. It sounds communicative in terms of his frustration. If this is the case try to figure out some language he could use to say what he wants instead of biting. Regardless if he gets a diagnosis of Autism or not, which I pray he doesn't, you can still use these strategies. I wish you luck and please know that most if not all toddlers have some sort of aggression whether it be biting, hitting, pinching, slapping, or screaming. Most behavior is communication and our little guys understand a lot more then they can tell us at this age.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061900.asp

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

Well if you decides to go back too work and place your child into a daycare you can trust and believe that if he bites one of the kids in daycare 9times out of 10 someone will bite him back and then he will know how biting feels to his sister and good luck becasue some daycare will not except your child

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H.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.

My middle son was a bitter. It is a hard habbit to break. I would tell him he was giving owies (sp?) He understood what that ment. I think your son is too young for a time out. I would consentrate more with redirecting him to some thing else. Teach him how to trade toys instead of biting. When you see him getting frustrated redirect him to something else before he can bite. Make him feel bad about biting. Like saying you hurt mommy. Pull out some fake tears if you have to. Make him feel bad for hurting someone. His guilt will help with him stoping. Hope this helps. If you have any questions or want some help with the day care you can e-mail me at ____@____.com.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

J.-
Try time out... you'd be surprised how early they understand the concept. My 18 month old, (unfortunately) has picked up biting her sister... and though we are still working on it, it's improved greatly by making her take some sort of responsibility for her actions.

Good luck...
Jen~

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P.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J., Biting is never a good thing. I am a licensed childcare provider(since 1996). I have come across several children who were biters! There are several different reasons why children bite, such as: feeling inferior like they always have to protect themselves, lack of attention, cutting molars(mouth pain),etc... I have a 2 year old in my daycare who had started biting,(after being in my daycare since 1/07). I discovered that he is in great pain with his two year molars coming in. I am working with him to help to relieve his pain and watching for signs when he could try to bite. I remove him from all activities and talk to him to let him know that biting is not acceptable. Be consistant with how you handle it and it should get better quickly! I wouldn't use the crib as a dicipline, because he may start to associate that as a bad place to be even at bedtime.

Hope this helps:)

P.

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