Biter

I hope this link works--it looks like it has some really good info!!

www.bananasinc.org/uploads/1112818846.pdf

My son started biting at 2 and is now over 3 and is still biting. A BIG problem. He does not do it all the time, but usually when he is frustrated or angry. He is very verbal now, so that is not the issue. I have been told that some kids bite, but they should not be doing it at this age. So it needs to be stopped sooner than later. What was not done and should have been, is when he bit the second time at preschool, he should have been immediately picked up by me (or someone else) so he could see the abrupt consequences. He loves school, so it would have been a shock. He has bit family member too, so the last straw for me what when he bit a school on a Monday and then bit his brother Wednesday, drawing blood. I used all the suggestions I'd been given: timeout, toys taken away, spanked (1st time), vinegar in his mouth, no reading at bedtime and straight to be after bath. Did it work, hasn't been that long.

bite her back! that;s what we had to do with my little cousin. and she got the point real quick.

I know it sounds wrong, but bite her back! She doesn't realize that what she's doing hurts so bad. All she knows right now is that she wants something to go her way and that's how it's going to work. We had to do that w/ all of our kids and I remember my parents doing it with my younger siblings as well. It will get your point across real quick.

Time outs don't work at 17 months old. I would suggest stopping the time-outs for now and instead try and work with your daycare provider to help separate her from whomever she is biting when she bites. She needs to be watched as much as possible and the behavior needs to be stopped before she even does it. If she is successfully able to bite, she will continue it.

My son did similar types of biting and we had to intervene before he would bite. I could always tell right before he was going to do it because of the look on his face and he would try and grab the person at the same time.

This is a VERY normal stage in your child's development, but it needs to be addressed by both the daycare and by you and your husband.

Hope this helps.

A drop of vinegar, taste yucky but harmless

Ok, I admit we tried the "bite him back" thing with our son who was a major biter. Didn't do a THING to help. Just confused him. Timeouts don't work at that age either. What worked was, first of all, repetition and patience. Everytime he tried to bite us, we said calmly, "Ouch biting hurts. Mommy likes hugs instead." Then I would open my arms wide and offer a hug. It gave him a physical outlet that was positive instead of negative.

Secondly, when things got REALLY bad at daycare (believe me your child is not the only child biting there...our son was pinned to the floor by a bigger child and bitten on both temples) we sat down and evaluated the big picture. We realized that at that point he was acting very differently at daycare compared to home, but was acting aggressively whenever we were somewhere with a lot of people. We realized that he had sensory processing issues and that the aggressive biting and pushing was his way of creating space for himself in a chaos of people (how else since he couldn't use words effectively). We pulled him out of the group day care environment and we were careful about public outings for a while until he was old enough to verbalize when he was feeling overwhelmed by noise and crowds.

So look carefully at the possible reasons/frustrations behind her biting. It is not because she just likes hurting people or being mean. It is a protective mechanism of some type.

Keep at it. I watch a boy that's a biter and unfortunately my son it the one getting bit all the time. Tapping his mouth firmly and telling him no biting has helped, we have started implementing time outs as well which seem to be adding to getting him through this. We most certainly take away the toy that caused the biting and I always give it to my son and tell him he lost it because he bit for it. They do understand even if they can't talk back. It'll sink in in time. So it goes like this. Firm tap on the mouth no biting it hurts people, time out for you you are here because you tried to bit and it hurts people. Time out over (I use one minute) repeat why he is there give him love tell him he can go play. This seems to be working best out of all the things we've tried. Oh we've even tried biting back. He looks at us confused cries and then will bite my son again once he gets the chance. I've even taken away his favorite toys that he typically bites over. That really helped actually. I know some think the time outs won't work, I think it depends upon the child because I swear combining the toy given to other child, firm tap and time out is his ticket. No it didn't change overnight but he is getting better. We've been dealing with this since he was a year old. so for 9 months now.

We tried the "bite back" method and it didn't work...my son thought it was funny. Time outs didn't work either...There is no rationalizinng at that age so they don't always get it. The best we could do was distraction and, as he has gotten a little older, we put a tiny bit of soap in his mouth just for the yucky taste which he hates. It usually gets the point across though. Know that it is very normal at that age though. At our daycare they just tend to keep a little closer eye on the ones going through it and are able to get them out of situations where they know it might be coming on.

We went the "bite her back" route. My daughter is autistic, so you can tell her something until you're blue in the face--she just can't learn that way. However, being shown something is gold; and with biting, she needed proof that it does, in fact, hurt. I only had to bite her twice before she got the point.

Hopefully the daycare is also giving you some suggestions. I would try teaching her some simple sign language words...not having a way to express yourself can be very frustrating at that age...biting is the only way she knows how to show anger, possession, frustration etc. Also, sharing at this age is a new concept...make sure the daycare has lots of toys for her to play. Also, catch her being good like sharing/taking turns...this will work wonders.

Oh, I am soooooo glad that I don't have to deal with that anymore!!! lol. My daughter was a biter for about a month and it drove me nuts! Instead of being kicked out of daycare, I WAS the daycare and lost a client b/c of it!
I thought that people's suggestion to bite her back was insane! I said, "No!! I could never bite my baby!" Finally, after nothing else had worked, I bit her. Lightly, on the hand, I bit my poor baby who just looked at me so confused. It didn't help either. lol. She just quit one day not too long after that. I just kept telling her that biting hurts and removing her from the situation each time and putting her in the playpen. Good luck! I know it's frustrating!

I run an in-home daycare and MY SON was the biter (first time around.) It was mostly due to not being able to communicate his wants/needs. Honestly most of the time it was out of anger that another child took what he was playing with or, yep, he didn't get his way. I tried time-outs and they did not work, he was less than 2 at the time. Finally I was able to get it to stop with all but one other little girl who was always taking things away from him and sitting on him and so on, they were exactly the same age (birthday's one day apart) but she was bigger and more aggressive. Eventually what worked here was to comfort the child who has being bitten and sternly scold the biter. I would take the little girl in my arms and comfort her while telling my son "you don't bite, biting is not nice" I would then go on to say things like you hurt "insert name" look she's crying because you made her hurt and so on. It only took a few more (long) weeks before biting was not an issue with him. Then within a few months I had a new little boy start at my daycare and he was biting everyone and everything, he had just turned 1 when he started here. He has anger issues, still to this day (at 3 1/2 years old) and it took almost a year to get him to stop biting. He even bites still on occasion, if things aren't going his way. It's hard but they say you are not suppose to hit, bite, etc the biter because that just reinforces that anger is the way to handle the situation. It makes sense...
~B

sometimes you have to try biting back. enough to hurt but not brake the skin.
she needs to see how she's hurting you.

I'll give one more vote to "bite her back." Obviously not hard, but enough to get her attention. It is a normal phase. My kids and every one of my nieces and nephews went through at least a month of it. Day care centers should recognize that and not threaten to kick anyone out.

There is no way for a child to realize the amount of hurt she's giving unless she gets a little of it back. Time outs don't work at this age.

On the flip side, remember to praise her whenever she demonstrates gental behavior. For example, "Oh you kissed the baby so gently." Or comment to your husband, "Look how gently Jane carries her dolly. How nice!"

I am interested in the responses becuase my 12 month old son has started biting at home now.

I know some may say this is a bit extreme; but if you can demonstrate to her how it feels to be bitten she may just realize the pain she is causing and empathize with those she is biting. This technique has worked for me in regards to hair pulling, maybe it will work in your situation.