Birthing Advice

Updated on April 07, 2008
A.S. asks from Evansville, IN
26 answers

My husband and I were not able to attend prepared childbirth classes and now I am really getting nervous. I am due in three weeks. Most people told me we didn't need to go, but I wanted to. I am asking for any advice or what to expect during birthing. I've read the books, but I'm curious about breathing techniques and other "tricks of the trade" that might help me or lessen my anxiety. Any thoughts for or against induction? I'm grateful for any help.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

Well like most moms I could right a book on advice from my labor but I will sum it all down to what a friend told me before i went into labor and it stuck true.." Do whatever it take/ whatever YOU need to do!" In the end I did whatever it took however i needed to do you and you will too.. Just breathe and dont try to be a martyr ( I did) Sending you a big hug and goodluck with L&D!
steph (and jack)

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Cleveland on

Relax and do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

I took the class, and I was very interested to hear that when you have drugs - it can slow down the whole process, and that if you are interested in breastfeeding your child it can actually slow your child down (because some of the drug will get to the child) and it will be harder to nurse.

I was very scared of the pain (I don't do well with pain, going to the dentist or the eye doctor can cause me to pass out from hyperventilating and panic) but I was able to deliver my son without the use of any pain meds. I also didn't take any medication after he was born. The only medication they used on me was a topical when they were stitching me up - yup...I had a level 2 tear from my son big head, lol.

I had a great nurse - she made sure I tried different positions, she massaged my back, and it helped so much.

One thing that really helped from my class, was a position that helped to get my son into the right position for birth. Get on your hands and knees at least 1x a day and rock your hips from side to side. I know it sounds stupid, but it helped to get him in the right position. I also used this same position while in labor, because he had rotated a bit and I was having some back labor. After doing this he moved right back to where he was supposed to be.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi A. :-)

I was in your same situation. I chose not to go to birthing classes and towards the end of my pregnancy I started to get really nervous. I was asking everyone what they did. I had my daughter Jan. 15th this year.

Well all I can say is DON'T worry! You will know instinctively what to do. I didn't get to the hospital in time to have my epidural which made me more nervous about the whole process and had to do it natural. It went fine! You will know exactly how to push, it just comes naturally you won't even have to think about it. The nurses in the delivery room told me as I was going through a contraction how to breathe and did it with me.

It all comes natural though, so don't worry about it! Its one of the great things of being a woman/mom... we have that instinct. And when you get the urge to push, you will know what to do and how to do it :)

Good luck with everything!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Every birth is somewhat unique, so you will probably just have to go with the flow. It might actually be better that you don't have a preconceived idea of what it will be like.

I was induced with both of my children (because they were overdue), and I actually thought it was great. I'm a bit of a control freak, though, so it worked for me because I never went into labor unexpectedly - ha ha! My doc had it down to a science, so he literally said, "We'll start the pitosin at 8:00AM and have a baby by Noon."

If there are things you feel strongly about (like not having an epidural or something like that) you need to make your doctor aware of them. Other than that, just relax and do what the doctors & nurses tell you to do.

I guess I do have a few other bits of advice:
1. Ask for a mirror so you can watch the birth.
2. When my 2nd daughter was born, once her shoulders were out, the doctor instructed me to reach down and pull her out & up onto my chest. It was the coolest thing. If you'd like to do this, make sure you tell your doc.
3. Bring your iPod (if you have one...and if the hospital allows it) to drown-out the other hospital noises.
4. Pack some snacks for after you give birth. (The hospital meal schedule never seemed to jive with my hunger, and the food wasn't good anyway.)
5. Bring something to occupy your mind like a book/magazine, crossword puzzles, deck of cards, handheld video game...whatever. There is more waiting time than you might think - especially if you're induced.
6. The nurses will stamp footprints on just about anything you want, so remember your baby book and anything else that needs tiny footprints!

Good luck to you - this is so exciting!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.K.

answers from South Bend on

Not sure where you live but Memorial Hospital offers them, they have to be scheduled. I know they have an all day Saturday class, the fee isn't too bad. However I went but when it came time I was in so much pain I didn't remember a thing anyway. Also I work in the cbu unit (not a nurse) but the nurses there will coax you thru it too and give you ideas and make you as comforable as possible. Memorial has the jacuzzi tubs too in the birthing suites... The number to set up the classes is ###-###-####.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Lafayette on

okay..i did the whole "birthing" class and all i have to say is..I paid 85.00 for bull...not trying to put down anyone elses expirience, just my own...with my first i got to the hospital and was told i was at 4-5cm & couldn't have an epidural, they gave me morphine...DON'T GET IT!!!, i was so doped up i pushed for 4 hours & nothing, they had to take her via vaccum delivery, after she was born, i got a little glimpse and passed out for 3 hours...with my next kid, i was enduced 8 weeks early for gestational diabetes, she was 7lbs 4 oz..very big for that age..being enduced the contractions are ALOT worse & there's no amount of "good breathing' or "focal points" that'll help you through it, thank god for epidurals, when i had a contraction after i got it, it just felt like a hug around my tummy..NO PAIN!!!, my labor with her only lasted an hour. after that, with my next 2 kids it was epidural only for me. he nurses do help alot, they have a sixth sense & can tell when you need them.all & all i would have done everything all over again just to see their tiny little faces looking up at me like that again...it is truly a life altering expirience, you'll never be the same again, in a good way.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

People will probably think I am nuts for saying this but...

listen to the nurses who will be with you for potentially hours and hours while you labor and push. They have delivered hundreds, if not thousands of babies. You've delivered zero. (This was exactly what I was thinking when I went into the hospital - I have no experience with delivering a baby!) They have seen anything and everything out there, from no-med to induction to epidural to emergency c-section. They can really assist you big time. My nurses were oustanding.

I'm not saying that you should just go in there and follow every little command like a robot. Of course, if something does not seem right trust your instincts. And, of course be assertive enough to make sure your needs are being met. But look at your nurses as if they are your 'teammates' working together for a common goal - the delivery of your child.

Also, be flexible as to what you want to do. You may have a set plan in your mind as to what you want to have happen but sometimes emergencies do occur. Above all else, consider the health of you and your baby a priority and be ready to shift your thinking in the event something happens.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I didn't take them either and was treated like a horrible person among people who had taken them. My advice, if you are for it, is an epidural. I'm due with my 3rd in a few months and I'll have one again!
Also I was induced with my first and my water broke on it's own with my second and they were about the same. I was glad I got to experience both.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

A.~
Congratulations!
My husband and I were not able to attend classes either, but somewhere along the line someone recommended the DVD "Great Expectations: Lamaze and Beyond" by Sheri Bayles. (check amazon or other similar sites: http://www.amazon.com/Laugh-Learn-About-Childbirth-Bayles...)

I think if you order now, you should receive it before the baby comes. The DVD is less than 5 hrs long broken into 6 easy to watch segments - so in a few evenings, you can get an overview on what to expect.

A few things I liked about this DVD:
1. We watched (and laughed) in the comfort of our own home
2. Sheri is not overly obsessive about "one specific technique", rather she gives a great, and lighthearted, overview of what to expect
3. Helped us BOTH know what to expect (although I am a nurse, my husband was rather clueless)
4. We owned it, so reviewed it before the birth of our second baby!

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I took the classes, but it was more a way to help pass the time because I was so anxious for him to be born, but something the nurse told me during labor helped more. She told me not to close my eyes when the contractions came, but to keep them open. When you close your eyes you focus on the pain, but if you keep them open and focus on something, anything, it helps you stay "outside" or "above" the pain. Epidurals are great, but can have drawbacks/mistakes (if you want to know more research "spinal headaches"). I had an epidural with both of my kids. With my first I was induced and when the contractions suddenly came on very intensely I started to hyperventilate and my sister was there and she made me sing my ABC's to help me keep breathing - it seemed ridiculous at the time, but again it helped. After having been induced I would advise against it if there's not a medical reason (I am diabetic and it's standard procedure). I was scheduled to be induced with my second but went into labor on my own two days prior and the experience was much better (minus the spinal headache thing) and I can't really say less painful, but different - less intense, more bearable pain. Although I know some others who have had uneventful inductions, I think it's the worst if it's your first child. I hope this helps you. Good luck - it's an AMAZING experience!

J.D.

answers from Columbus on

I took birthing classes for my first and second, and didn't really use anything from them either time. With my third and fourth, I didn't take any classes at all, and everything was fine.

The only thing I would recommend is that, if possible, you tour the hospital where you are going to deliver. With my last baby, we were new to the area, and toured for that reason, and learned all sorts of helpful info (they had a VERY well stocked snack room that the moms had access to after delivery 24/7.)

It is so exciting to be awaiting the arrival of your first bundle of joy! Good luck with everything :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Dayton on

Honestly, what most people told you about not needing them is true. I took them before my first and I did not use a single thing from the class. Most of the tecniques are breathing techniques and using an exercise ball and certain positions to sit in. The problem with all of these is that most women are getting epidurals which prevent you from even leaving the bed so the techniques cannot be used. Also no matter how much you try and prepare nothing goes the way you planned! That is just the beginning of motherhood! LOL My suggestion is to have your husband give you massages to try and relax you.

As for the induction part...Stay away from it unless it is absolutly necessary. This is obviously my opinion, but my first was natural and things went very smooth and quick and no problems. After having her I would have had 10 more kids! My second and third were both over a week past my due date and therfore I had to be induced. It was not a pleasant experience with either. The contractions are soooo much more intense with pitocin (the medicine used for induction)and come much more frequently. Most people I have spoke with have had similar experiences and would choose to not be inducted.Congrats on the new baby and relax...it's all worth it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Bloomington on

use hot water. i have given birth naturally twice, and the best help for labor was heat. a nurse told me that it confuses the nerves, so you feel heat instead of pain. totally worked for me. the first time my water broke so i went in the shower, and had my husband spray really hot water on my lower back during contractions. the second time since my water didn't break i was able to use the jacuzzi tub... AMAZING! i would just jump in the hot tub and turn on the jets when a contraction came, and it felt sooo good.

another good source of heat is a sock filled with rice, tie it off with a rubberband and heat it in the microwave. (just ask a nurse to heat it up for you- 2 minutes) it's nice and flexible and warm. it felt really good on my lower back. the rice sock is also great for breastfeeding the first few weeks-- it can help support the breast or the baby's head.

one other thing that i loved with my second birth-- i rubbed peppermint oil on my tummy. it's an aromatherapy thing-it helps stimulate contractions, and feels great-- kind of an icy-hot feeling that dissipates the pain of contrations.

don't induce. it's more painful, can cause complications, and really should be avoided. your body knows when it's time. ALSO, if you induce your first stage of labor has to be at the hospital... it's so much nicer to labor at home for the first few centimeters! it doesn't hurt, and you can be so much more comfortable in your own space.

good luck, and you can do it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Toledo on

I didn't get to attend birthing classes either, and I also heard that it wasn't much to miss. I had one child induced and one not. Personally to me it wasn't much different. But I think that it veries from person to person. The only 2 things I can really offer are:
1. When you are having a contraction breathe out, it helped me to do that.
2. The epileral is not a bad thing. I didn't have it with my 1st because I was to affraid of having a needle in my back. But then with my 2nd I broke down right before the hard labor kicked in and I wish I got it as soon as I had walked in the hospital doors! For me it was a blessing.

Good luck in labor! I am sure you will do just fine. Oh, and congratulations!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.S.

answers from Toledo on

Congratulations! I had my first and only at 33. Since I was on bed rest the whole time, I didn't go to classes either.
My sugestions are rather simple, first try not to worry. Instead be thankful. When worry sneaks in tell yourself/pray/out loud helps even more< "thank you for this beautiful life in me." or something to thatsort. an "attitude of gratitude" can over come a lot of stresses if it is sincere.

Breathing? The nurses will help you during the hardest parts. Ohterwise just stay calm, breath slow and it helped me to imagine a peaceful scene: beach, mountain stream....

My mother told me: the pain of child birth is agonizing, but when you see that baby the pain is instantly gone and forgotten. It is true.

Don't be afraid of an epi, it will help.

After being on bedrest from May- the end of August, he moved out of the birth canal and I had to be induced. No big deal.

Birth was the most awesome experience in the world. Was it easy? no, my boy had to fight to get here right up to coming out. was it worth it? absolutely. keep your eye and heart on the out come. and take things 1 grateful step at a time. you will do great.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

well i just had my first and the thing that helped me out the most was information onling go to web md it will pretty much explain everything you need to know all of your worries will be answered .. also call the hospital you going to most will offer a walk though of what where and how everything is done.. and you can make an app. when you have the time.. but for the most part you may think right now you have no clue but you will it will come naturally i felt the same way.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.I.

answers from Cleveland on

Do you like water? You can give birth in warm water. Water is a form of comfort. You can think about what you are going to do with your son after he is born. You can get something soft and squeeze that. You can listen to soft still music. You can have your husband rub your back or shoulders to help relax you. You can take deep breathes in between your contractions. Jesus I pray that you would help A. not to be nervous when she goes to have her baby. I pray that you would comfort her and give her strength. I pray that she will not worry but trust in you Jesus. I Pray that you would build her up in your word. I pray that the delivery goes well. In Jesus name I pray amen.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I didn't get to my classes either the first time and took them for the second and it was nice but i didn't learn anything. You are going to be fine your body will tell you what to do and when to do it just listen. as for the induction question, i ws with my last child and eneded up having to get induced twice, both times i was stuck in a bed for 12 hours without beign aloud to eat or get up and the first time they then sent me home and made me go back int he next morning to do it all over, it was miserable event he second day it took 15 hours before labor kicked in and i delivered, and this was after 2 quick births with her brothers so i don't recomend it unless you really really have to be. good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Columbus on

Hello A. and congratulations! I took a birthing class with my first child and honestly it didn't help much. Just be confident and know that women give birth every day! I would suggest not inducing unless you are over due by a week or two. It puts alot more stress on you and the baby and results in a greater chance of c-section. Call the doula who responded to you or hire one to be with you at the delivery! They are a fantastic resource and know what to do to help you through the delivery! My sister used one and she was great! I had midwives at home through Choice. They offer birthing classes you can attend even if you are not using them for your delivery. They also have doula's on staff. I also sat in a tub for my labor and that helped with the pain. Good luck and get ready to fall head over heels in love with your new baby!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.M.

answers from Toledo on

I am a labor and delivery nurse and really you don't need to go to the classes. It will all come naturally. Just go with your instints and have your nurse for the day help you...we are wonderful and know many tricks of the trade. Just trust us when you get to the hospital.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Columbus on

Can you afford a doula? check DONA or ALACE websites, or google doula columbus oh for other listings

Also, you might sit in on a couple of prenatal yoga classes. They can help you with relaxation breathing.

Induction? I'm against it, unless the baby is two weeks late. S/he will come when s/he's good and ready. Of course if your ob thinks the baby is in danger, then that's a different story.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

First if you go to your doctor and he/she says it's time to induce don't fight it. If you induce in the last couple of week who cares...it's either now or later. You'll get admitted and they'll start an IV. Then you'll get taken to your room. There will be lots or questions. Think about how you want to deliver...do you want your water broken, do you want a enima (not a bad idea if you've eaten a lot. All the pushing pushes everything out) Know that from the time you are admitted to after the delivery you will only have ice chips for this very reason, do you want a epidral (I tried to go natural, unless your realy commited to that I idea, go for the epi. A controlled delivery is much more comfortable and less stressful) Do you want you husband to cut the cord? Who do you want if anyone at the delivery? Do you want to hold the child right away then do the clean up? Also bring warm socks for you and the baby. I brought extra socks to put on her hands to keep them warm. the mittens don't work. Also are you breastfeeding or formaula feeding. Breastfeeding is whole lot to learn but is very simply. Trust your nurses. They will help you through. Read the book "what to expect" and get lots of sleep. Sleep when the baby sleeps once it's here. Well my second baby is crying for me. I'm sure others will have more advice. Good luck. The books will really help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.N.

answers from Dayton on

Hi,A.
I am a doula and childbirth educator. I know I am not very close but if you like to call me I will give a over the phone short class and email you some papers that I had out. It would be like class on the comfort measures for labor and any thing that you are worried about. If you have speaker phone you could put that on while I talk to the both of you. This should help you both feel alot more comfortable.

J.
###-###-####
###-###-#### cell

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from Columbus on

Check out my friend's website: www.momsmark.com. If you get in touch with her, you would really benefit from it. She is great. As far as breathing technique goes, I learned them in the child birthing class and liked them. I didn't really use them. I came up with my own breathing rhythm when I gave birth. The nurse that taught the child birthing class said that many women will do that when they give birth. As far as "tricks of the trade", just think about anything that makes you comfortable when you are in pain and bring it. Do you like certain oils that your husband could give you a massage with. You are not allowed to burn candles but maybe you like a certain perfume that you can spray on a tissue and smell it when you get uncomfortable. A lot of times, women get dry lips during labor and since you are not allowed to drink water, only get ice chips, different flavored chap sticks might be fun to use (I did that and liked it). Also, bring a CD player and your favorite music and make sure you bring some comfortable socks that you can wear. To get a pleasant taste in your mouth, you can bring different flavor lollipops. If the hospital you deliver in has DVD/VCR players, bring a favorite movie or something. I had a whole bag full of goodies with me when I went to the hospital. I ended up using a DVD, a CD and a vanilla flavored chap stick. The rest of the stuff stayed in my "labor" bag but I was glad that I brought it all.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Like Jo Ellen, I am also a doula. I am hoping to eventually become certified to teach childbirth classes as well.

With classes, they are there to help you get an idea of how your body and baby work during pregnancy and labor. They also help to give you ideas on some ways to handle labor and all that goes along with it. I didn't necessarily 'learn' anything I didn't already know in the classes, but it was nice to have my husband there and have someone going over things again for me (even though I had already learned a lot of the stuff from my doula training). The teacher also helped give us a better idea of what to expect from the particular hospital we were going to deliver in. For example, some doctors/hospitals don't require continuous monitoring while others do. Some doctors/hospitals don't require an IV unless it becomes necessary while others do. It would also be a good idea to find out what things are available to you in the hospital. Things like a squat bar, birthing ball, tub and even doula services are sometimes available. If you took a tour of the maternity/family facilities, you could find this information out.

I would also suggest writing out a birth plan. Not only will this get you thinking about what you want out of your birth, it will also get your mind off of the waiting here at the end. It passes the time. :) Just keep in mind that giving birth is not predictable, so it's important to be open-minded to unexpected events. With my first child, I had planned on staying at home as long as possible, going to the hospital and being able to move around the room or even halls some and birthing my baby in whatever position was most comfortable for me. I ended up being induced after a routine test (I was past my due date and my amniotic fluid was dangerously low). I was starving, didn't have anything packed (because we weren't expecting to have the baby then), had my water broke and an internal monitor put into place (which meant no shower), had an IV placed immediately and administered Pitocin (to start my labor). I gave in and got an epidural after laboring for 8 hours without any pain medication and then was stuck in the bed until after the delivery. So, things can definitely go the completely opposite of how you plan. But, having a plan written out can be helpful in case things do go smoothly and also can give guidelines on what to do (within reason) if unexpected events do arise.

The next thing I would suggest would be to get a doula. I'm sure there are some wonderful women there that would love to support you during your birth. If money is an issue for you, I'm sure that an experienced doula might be able to help you find someone that is either willing and able to take on a free client or even a doula who is working toward certification. Most times, those women are happy to take on a free client for the experience and to help fulfill certification requirements. You might also check with the hospital to see if they have a doula program. The hospital where I delivered both of my children has a free doula service for anyone who wants one, but I believe you have to let them know in advance so they can assign you someone.

Induction...Avoid it if you can. There are times where it is necessary, but if it isn't, don't do it. Any medical intervention opens the door to more interventions. It's like a domino effect. And, keep in mind that whatever you put in your body goes to the baby as well. I had my second baby completely natural and it was the best experience of my life. I would do it over and over again. :)

Above all, remember that God designed you perfectly to give birth and your body is capable of doing exactly that.

If you have any other questions or just want to talk, send me a private message and I'll give you my phone number.

God bless,
A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi A., my advice (speaking from experience) is stay as relaxed and calm as you can, which gets tougher as the contractions get stronger but the more you tense up the worse the pain gets it sends a signal to your brain that you are tensing so it hurts more in your abdomen too). So, if you notice that you are furrowing your brow or clinching your hands into a fist or anything of the sort it will make the pain worse. I tried this with my last 2 babies and it worked amazingly well. And remember when the pain is at its worst it's almost over and you will soon be holding your beautiful baby. (That's what I always told myself when I felt I couldn't go on. Well, good luck, and enjoy your new baby when he/she comes. :) D. R.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches