Birthday Party Invite Question

I think that your posing this question to yourself and your child is definitely the smart, sensitive thing to do. I think far too often in this world, we let our child do what they want without teaching them any lessons. Basically, we teach them "whatever feels right at the moment with no thought to what consequences may lay ahead as a result to our actions". I agree that he should invite who he wants to, but I would definitely make sure that it was for the reasons he stated, not because they had had a temporary fight. I would make sure that my son knew that this could damage any possiblity of future friendship (at least immediate future) as you did. If then he still wanted to leave them uninvited and I was even "weekly aquaintances" with their mother at best (meaning spoke to them on a weekly basis), I would make sure I mentioned the party to her. That way, there is no sneaking or hiding the fact and she can be ready to address hurt feelings on her child's side if they should arise.

would your friends (the moms) really be hurt? Tis the season for 4-5 kids that were all born around the same time to turn 5 and I know from talking to a couple of my friends, they are doing small parties or parties with just girls (I have a boy). I know that means that my son won't be invited and I'm totally fine with that. At some point, they pick their own friends based on who they get along with and it's not an insult to that child or parent.

I would think at 8 (going on 9), you let him invite who he wants. If those moms are true friends, they'll understand.

I agree that he should be able to invite only who he wants to his birthday party. If it comes up with the moms, just say it was a very small party and let it go at that.

He truly has to own his choices and decisions. By you stepping in and making it all okay (for You); it will not teach him to set healthy boundaries and to be confident in his decisions, especially in his friend choices. I would be more considerate of my child's preferences, than non-family members.

I would think at that age he could decide who he wants to have there. When i was in 4th grade i was the ousted one. a girl who was my best friend chose to not invite me to her party. at the time i remember being a little hurt but it didn't ruin my life. We can't tell our children who to pick as their friends if the moms would get upset their children weren't invited then i am not sure what kind of friends they are. If he is only having 5 kids then so be it. life has a lot of including and excluding kids have to learn to deal with it sometime. i hope it goes more smoothly then you are expecting. but i would let your son decide who comes.