Birth Control Pills and Libido?

Updated on April 06, 2010
B.F. asks from Brooklyn, NY
13 answers

Hi all, I've been on some form of contraceptive pills for most of my adult life, except for a very short time prior to my pregnancy and during in 2005-06. In my twenties, I had no problem with my libido (big surprise, right?) and since the birth of our son 4 years ago, it has been more difficult for me to get into the mood. At first I thought it was just a part of being a mom- but now I know I should be enjoying myself WAY more than I currently do. I'm wondering if the pill is a contributing factor? I have been taking progesterone-only "mini-pill." Is there any evidence out there that the pill lessens your libido? Should I consider an alternative? I'm just afraid to go off it just to see- has anyone gone off the pill, and been much more excited about sex with partner as a result? My lack of interest is stressing us both out, and when I'm into it, it's great, its just really not that often. And my husband wants it all the time (big surprise #2). Thoughts???

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K.W.

answers from New York on

Hi B.,

I myself have taken birth control mainly for my severe mood swings while PMSing. Once i started taking YAZ it did control my mood swings but I did notice that my sex drive has slowed down a bit. I have since come off of it because of all the negative things I have been and have notice a difference in my libido, my mood swings are however back off the charts.

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M.D.

answers from Eau Claire on

I have never been on a pill, but if you want to try going off of the pill, here is an alternative birth control you could use in the meantime– VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film). It is just a film that you fold up and put inside before an 'interlude.' (At least 15 minutes before, so that it has time to dissolve.) I have used it, as well as my Mom (who gets pregnant at the drop of a hat!) and the only time it didn't work for me was when I got impatient and didn't wait the full fifteen minutes (human error).

I would definitely try something other than the pill, though. For a month or two (my cousins use the pill, and all of them, when they went off, had to wait 1-2 months for it to completely leave their system).

Also, when it comes to interludes, I don't always want it either– but a few years ago my husband and I had a heart-to-heart, and I told him that when we are together, I don't always have to experience the final fireworks for me to enjoy being with him. In fact, always expecting/being expected to hit the fireworks was dimming the experiences because, lets face it, sometimes it's work or just plain doesn't happen. Once the pressure of performing was gone, and I was able to just enjoy an interlude for the sake of the interlude, things got better, and better, and better. There are still plenty of times I don't really want sex, but I enjoy the closeness it brings, so we have a quiet time. Then I feel close, he got his quality time, and both of us are happy.

God bless!
M. D

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M.J.

answers from Houston on

Yes! this is exactly what happened to me - so I decided to get off the mini-pill and my libido came back. But there were other side effects of getting off the pill - weight gain (5 lbs) and ovarian cysts - I decided the trade off was worth it to have a happy marriage again ;)

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A.A.

answers from Columbus on

B., I most definitely noticed a correletion between going on the pill and a major drop in my libido. Enough of a drop that I went off the pill (so long ago that I can't remember which one it was.) Although, I have to add, I didn't spend a heck of a lot of time with the doctor chosing which pill was right for me. There's a million different combinations out there so it might be worth Googling your options and then talking to your GP.

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I totally think that there is a direct correlation. I am no longer on the pill and want sex more than my husband does! When on the pill, was too moody, cried a lot more, was very dry 'down there,' and was rarely in the mood for lovin. My husband and I now use condoms - not really what the guys like, but 1. They're better than a moody wife. 2. They're better than a not-in-the-mood-ever wife and 3. They're better than another kid right now!

Good luck. Talk to your DR about it. I told my Dr this and she said that the Mirena insert (not sure what it is, many women on here use it), she said that it's great because it is a very low dose of hormones, so should not affect my libido.

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I was also on the mini pill and then orthotricyclen lo and let me tell you....NO SEX DRIVE. I thought it was me! We were intimate once a month, and even then it took me a while to get "in the mood". I started having issues with breakthrough bleeding, spotting, and just feeling crappy, so I told my husband I was going off the pill and we would just have to go back to condoms (groan). BUT, my sex drive came back!! yippee.. I was wondering where it was.
I didn't do any research and can't tell you if biologically that is what happened...all I can say is we are back to 3-4 times a week and I am LOVING it! So is the hubby.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

I've never noticed a change in libido on or off the pill. However, anything that messes with your hormones probably can affect your level of desire. That being said, I'm pretty sure the mini pill souldn't have much effect, since I think the main reason BC pills are known to sometimes affect libido is because of their effect on estrogen levels and ovulation. Since the mini pill only contains progesterone, it allows your body to make estrogen naturally and, I think, shouldn't have much effect. But of course, everyone is affected differently by things, so I'd suggest talking to your doctor about it you're concerned.

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C.B.

answers from Des Moines on

I've had the same problem and have read quite a few articles (most recently on the Women's Health website) that shows that there is a direct relation between the pill and a drop in a woman's libido. I have been lucky enough to avoid this problem until recently. I'm now in my 30's and things change as you get older! Another factor in my case is that my doctor wants me to stop having a period and take my pills straight through. I'm on the Seasonique so I was only having my period every 3 months (which was great for my sex life!) but now I'm not having one at all, so my body isn't getting any break from the hormones. Since I stopped having a period, my libido has gone down, and my weight has gone up! The libido issue is causing problems in my relationship. It's not that I don't love my husband, or that I don't find him attractive, which is his worry; it's just that sex doesn't sound that interesting, and it seems like a lot of work! I want things to get back to where they were before, but I'm at a loss of how to fix things too!

I'll be watching this post for future answers to see what has worked for other people. Thank you for posting this question and I hope we can both get some answers that help!

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

DEFINATLEY!!!! LOL! Talk to your doctor. Changing to a dif. pill should help! I had the same problem. As soon as I stopped the one, It came back! Also, your body has changed since your 20's! So, even if it's the same pill, your body is not the same! You may not get your 20's back, but you should be able to improve the situation!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

I was the same way for years. It was not until I wanted to get pregnant again and went off birth control that I realized what was going on. I have many friends say the same thing. I also realized that the pill made me feel slightly depressed, and once I was off of it found myself to be happier in general. I was so surprised by the difference in the way I felt off birth control, that I never went back on it after trying to concieve my third baby.

R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Well first of all you mentioned that you are taking progesterone only which is the male hormone. I'm surprised that your doctor hasn't got you on estrogen which is the female end of it. If you haven't had a hysterectomy or anything along that line. Prior to me having a historectomy I was on both pills, now only estrogen. Again if no hysterectomy/tubligation I would ask the physician about this. It could also be that you are getting it in the pill or perhaps you are on the wrong pill.
I wish you good luck, I know how frustrating this can be not to mention yourself but your husband as well. Take care and I hope my answer has given you something to check out.

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T.S.

answers from Binghamton on

im right there with you, we went through the same thing. the pill can make it a lilttle harder to get it the mood, at least it did for me. when i went off it there was a small change and i mean small so check the risks, a lil more sex drive or chanceing another preg. i have found that thinking of sex more offten helps. men are almost always in the mood and i think it has to do with they think about alot! so help your self, pick up some romance novels, get some cool new lubes, try anything you find fun and think he'll be into. make time for each other. make one night a week just for the two of you. play silly games together. compition is a hudge turn on and laughing together makes your conection so much better. they say you need to work on a relationship i say you need to work on makeing sex fun. trust me its made a hudge diffrence for us!

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A.D.

answers from New York on

There are so many different combos of the pill, and each one has very different side-effects. When I was in college, the health center prescribed everyone the same pill, and eventually we all discovered through talking to other women that it gave us insane mood swings (I thought I was having some kind of mental break down, I had no control of my emotions and never new what mood would show up when). This could be controlled somewhat by taking a B-complex vitamin. Once I realized it was the pill, I switched to a different formula and became normal again.

So, yes your libido problem could be the pill, talk to your dr about changing formulas. It could also be that you are not getting enough sleep. Since having my daughter (almost 7yo), I told my husband that if he wants any action, we have to go to bed earlier than normal (at least a half-hour). Unfortunately, if i have to choose sex or sleep, sleep is going to win. Raising a child and working full-time is exhausting (and it woul be exhausting if I were a SAHM too). I need my sleep to function and to come across as a human being not some alien monster. So, give up the TV or set the DVR or whatever, put on something that makes you feel sexy, and see if that improves things a little. Good luck!

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