I think it's very normal for you to be depressed and wish I could tell your husband to be kind and understanding. Could you talk with him during the day when you're both not trying to sleep and ask for more sympathy and less trying to fix it.
I grew up with brothers and worked almost entirely with men and have been told I think more like a man than a woman sometimes. I do listen sympathetically but the next step for me is often to start analyzing to find a way to fix it. Give him a hug and tell him kindly, "thank you for worrying, hon, but could you just hold me." or whatever helps you feel a little bit better.
Two miscarriages, a nephew's death, and now you're told you have a virus that caused the miscarriages. I'd be crying most of the time. I don't know if loestrin could be adding to the depression or not but even without the b.c. pill, your hormones are all messed up anyway from the stress.
I suggest that you talk with the doctor who prescribed the loestrin and ask about it's effects but I'd also ask if he could prescribe a mild anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication to get you past the worst. There are several medications that you can take, low dose, for a short period of time that help break the cycle of depression enough that you can get a handle on it for yourself. You do want to feel the grief and you have at least 4 reasons to be grieving but you don't have to feel and be nutty every night. Loss of sleep makes us even more depressed.
One "trick" that I've learned after many years was to schedule cry time during the day. Watch a sad movie, read a sad story, write down sad thoughts, focus on feeling sad for a specific period of time. Set a timer, to remind you, and then focus on doing something that will help you feel better. Perhaps you could cry on your husband's shoulder for 15 minutes or so which would be like a relief valve for all the time during the day you couldn't cry and then you could get to sleep.
