Birds and the Bees - Meigs,GA

Updated on May 13, 2015
B.S. asks from Fitzgerald, GA
18 answers

My 8yr old son said he knows he came out of my tummy and I'm his flesh and blood. His question to me was "how am I flesh and blood to my daddy?" When is is a good time to have "the talk" about the birds and the bees?

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

now. Hit the library. Get some books. Have conversations - not just "the talk". He needs to know how his body works, and as he grows, he needs to be aware of the responsibilities that come with reproduction, sexual behavior & interaction, respect, etc. It's ongoing learning chats.

4 moms found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Now. Basic understanding can keep a child from being abused by someone that might want to take advantage of him. Kids needs some basic information but not the whole shebang.

He can understand that daddy has a part in the act but it's not something he needs in depth details about yet.

I would say at age 8 he's already having erections that are funny to him and that he has some basic stuff his friends have already told him. Ask him what he knows about it then go on from there.

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More Answers

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Interesting first question. And an 8 year old using "flesh and blood" to ask the question.

I'm in agreement with the poster below: "The Talk" really isn't one talk. It's a series of talks that you have throughout the years, that you customize based upon his need-to-know, ability to comprehend, and maturity level. And don't leave his dad out of these discussions. It's important that fathers are there to help their boys understand what is appropriate, respectful, and so forth, from a man's perspective.

7 moms found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He's asking, so get a book like "It's not the Stork" and do it now.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

He asked so it is time. Fit the talk to what he is mature enough to handle. You do not need to give him a play by play but just some info.

4 moms found this helpful

S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree, if he is asking, he needs some answers.

I'm a big fan of Amazon because you can search very specifically for for age-appropriate books and videos on about every topic. That'd be my first stop. They get them to you fast, too ;)

Another idea is to maybe do a Google search (on your own) and find some good diagrams or explanations that could be helpful.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'd recommend It's Not the Stork. Your library may have it. The information is presented in a factual, clear, non-judgmental way and is age-appropriate for an 8 y.o.

In my house, the problem of how to talk about it was solved by one conversation in the car. My kids had watched a lot of nature documentaries, and my then 7 y.o. asked his big sister, a wise old woman of 10, why baboons have colorful butts. "To attract a mate," she said. He knew about mating because he had witnessed brine shrimp mating in real life. "Mating is for making babies, right?" "Yep." "I suppose people must do that, too." (By now I'm trying to listen intently while not wrecking the car.) " I guess. Mom, can we play Pokemon when we get home?"

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Lots of books about this for you to read with him at the library, just ask the librarian.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

since he's asking, how about right now?
a 'good' time would have been years ago. he's pretty old to know nothing about biological functions.
but you can't fix that. so give the poor boy some simple, age-appropriate, accurate information now, and then keep building on it.
khairete
S.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I've already had it with my 7 yr old....

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Go to the library and get "Where Did I Come From?" or another book recommended by the children's librarian. Try out a few and then see which ones you may wish to buy, if any. "The Talk" is an ongoing process that starts at age 5 and continues to about age 18! So you need an arsenal of age-appropriate reading to help you through those many stages.

I'd also, somewhere in there, talk about how parenting is not about flesh and blood so much as about the many ways in which families are created. Not all of his friends, for example, came out of their mommies' tummies. They came out of some tummy, yes, but those families that are built on various fertility treatments/surrogacy, adoption or fostering are no less valuable or legitimate than biological families. So incorporating broader definitions is important in raising sensitive and informed kids.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

We did the Where Did I Come From book too.

I waited until my kids asked. I always just answered their questions - I didn't give more info than that. Sometimes I'd be all prepared to have the big talk, they'd ask one question - and that was it. So I might have to wait another year before filling them in on more details. I figure that's all they could handle at that point.

Often times they come hearing something at school or from friends.

One of mine came home from school and said "SO how exactly did I get DNA from you and Dad?" (first question about it ever). That was in grade 2 or 3. Funny.

Good luck :)

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K.H.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Truthfully enough the children today are more advance ,beyond there years. My niece who only at the age new about homosexuality ,premarital sex and drugs all at the age of 7. Now she has never been directly exposed to this but so much is on television our family church has counselor and loving parents that teach our children church. With the consent of the parents some subjects are discussed such as sex, drugs and other subjects. I have learned from mentor kids of all ages that if we don't open our eyes and teach our children the right way, someone on the outside may teach them the wrong way. Kae is a brilliant ,witty, fun and loving little girl now 10 years old, she has always had wisdom beyond her years.A I promise the things the child tells me sometimes blows my mind. I have to just giggle at her. I think If he is asking , you and he father should find children material to explain it to him.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was just looking into this for my almost 6 year old because I'm pregnant and I wanted to be prepared in case it brought up questions. I googled and everything I read told me that he needs to know the simplified version of the truth. A good book that was recommended was "It's not the stork". Look it up on Amazon. It's very simplified but still gives a lot of info. I think they may even have another version for older kids.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

My daughter is 8 and has always been fascinated by animals. Little by little we've always talked about it as she's grown up. I've tried to keep things on her level and not give her the WHOLE story all at once. I've also told her to keep her knowledge to herself. That the subject is a very personal one and not everyone is comfortable with talking about it, especially to children. That the topic was for their mommies and daddies to decide when and what their children should know. So far she's been good. I'm trying to instill in her the same respect for herself and for sex that I had. I want her to choose for herself when and if she's ready and to be strong and smart about all the possible consequences of that choice.

Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

If you look back on this topic you will get a lot of good advice.

It's not "a" talk.... It's ongoing from young child and on while they grow up.

At 8, if he's asking you this now, it's because he is trying to figure out the truth because at 8 kids talk at school.

Wouldn't you rather be factual with him even if you're embarrassed than have him believe what his friends are saying?

Get books from the library, go on a walk so you don't look eye to eye.

Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My 10 year old son hasn't asked yet, but my daughter did before that. When it's asked, I answer honestly. I got my daughter a book about the changes coming her way and had her read it, she asked me any questions she had from that. For her, that was easier than me just blurting it all out.

We never sat down and had a long drawn out conversation, but we talk about it on occasion, usually when she brings it up.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I didn't get the Where did I come from book, I got the What's happening to me book. It talks about the changes to both sexes. My son read it first and a few years later my daughter did.

If you start now and are honest, they will have a healthy knowledge of the their bodies and how to care for them. Also continue the conversation off and on on their level.

the other S.

1 mom found this helpful
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