My grandchildren are biracial the 4 yr old girl goes to a pre-k that mostly white. Her mother is white and of course her father is black. I am white and been married to ablack man for over 10 yrs. I have a 26 yr old son who is white and engaged to a white girl. Lots of the little girls have blond hair and blue eyes and she told me the other day she wanted to be white. She has told me in the past that she was white and I would tell her that god made her a special color he took a little of mamas color and a little of dadys color and made a beautiful color that he painted her with and thats what makes her special. But she has beautiful hair she talks about how she wants to wear hers like so and so blond. Any suggestions on how to make my grandchildren proud of who they are? I want them to be proud of being black as well as white. I dont want them to think because they are part black they dont add up. My husband and her daddy both work at ups and her mother is a nurse so she sees she comes from succses. Any advice or books that might help her understand.
Thanks for all the encouragement.
Here are a couple of links I found:
http://nancykeane.com/rl/543.htm
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/meadows/7936/7936c.html
I hope this helps!!!
hi K., your grandaughter is only 4 she is just going by what others at school are saying or whatever. she will be fine what u told her is good! just inspire
It sounds like you have given your Granddaughter a beautiful reply to her question. Keep up the good work reassuring her that she is special and should be proud of both her Mom and Dad's heritage! As for books, there's a book on Amazon.com called "Black, White, Just Right!" by Marguerite W. Davol and Irene Trivas. It's highly reviewed and is aimed at children at reading levels ages 4-8. I hope that can help her learn to be proud of who she is. Good luck.
I have 3 biracial children, 12, 8, 7, the youngest being a girl. I have never told my children they were mixed. Not that they couldn't see if they looked, LOL. They say they are brown. When I was younger all my girlfriends were white and dated black men. They had biracial children also. My children see it as being normal and have never questioned it nor wished they were one race or the other. I have never let them know there was any difference so many people are so many different races these days. I have told them about prejudice people though. I explained that some people may say ugly things because of the color of their skin and explained to them how to be equipped to handle the situation. I also have been around more black people with them. Only because I feel more blacks are more accepting than whites about the race mixing, but that is changing these days. And they look more black than white. I also have made sure they are in racially mixed schools. As parents of mixed children we have to think it out and as parents we experience the same prejudices.
I guess as far as my daughter saying she wants to be white I can't help you there. Does she go to a prominatly white school, that may be the reason. She may be around all little white girls with long straight hair. My daughter has kinky hair, she will not let me cutt it either....LOL It is way down her back and is so difficult to style.
I hope you find the answer you are needing on here. later
I am biracial, multi-cultural as well. I think it helps to be inundated with positive images of darker skinned/haired role models. Dolls, cartoon characters, products. ALso to comment-"Oh what pretty skin that little girl has. What beautiful brown eyes. I wish I had dark hair/eyes/skin l;ike that. She must be a very happy girl." I know that skin color has nothing to do with how happy or nice a person is but that is the message that is out there and it must be counteracted.
Circulating around on youtube was a video that some school girls took. They showed preschool children black and white doll babies and asked them a series of questions. Which one is pretty. Which one is nice? Which one is bad? Which one do you look like? Overwhelmingly the children sad that the black doll baby was not "good"?
Just keep stating how wonderful it is to be black, part black and white, a mixture-like cookies (make cookies to prove point).
Good luck.
I ALSO HAVE 2 BIRACIAL CHILDREN THAT HAVE SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT WANTING TO BE WHITE.
I SAY KEEP BING POSITIVE BY TELLING HER THAT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL BEING THE COLOR THAT SHE IS. TO BE PROUD AND THAT GOD MAKES US ALL DIFFERENT. IF ALL PEOPLE WERE THE SAME THIS WORLD WOULD BE REALLY BORING.
Let her know she is perfect the way she is every day.
Her skin isn't what is really bothering her this is something a lot deeper!
I wish you all the best. T.
I have biracial daughter and right now that is not an issue. I hope it never becomes one, but I am trying to be prepared. There is a book in the children's section in Borders that deals with the many colors of skin. It talks about how special they all are and tells about the differences of all biracial children. I do not remember the name but I will be picking up a copy the next time I am in. Ask at the information desk at the book store and they can point you in the right direction. Her peers are going to affect her right now but don't switch schools or anything. MAybe take her to a playground where more black children are and have her play there, that might help her realize she is from two colors and that is what makes her special, not looking like all the other girls.
I hope this helps.
L.
It sounds like you are already on the right track, K.. (I'm not a member of any particular ethnic group but our family's hair is unmanageably curly and of course none of the kids like theirs.)
My thoughts --
this is probably normal and you're doing all the right things.
include celebrations of your heritage in with holidays. Mention what foods your grandparents of specific ethnic heritage made that you loved.
read her books on the subjects
really limit TV!! Oh my, does it reinforce some of the things we DON'T want taught. Or, look closely at the programs you watch.
I'm thinking of you.
K.,
I had to chuckle a little, because I have two daughters who want to be "chocolate" color like their friends at school.
They don't understand why I can't make their hair do what Jenicia and A'Mia's hair does.
I think it is just their age.
I also think that it is a wonderful thing to be able to learn about each other and how many more ways we are similar than different.
I used to want curly red hair, and my friend with curly red hair wanted straight blonde hair.
I haven't tried to change my daughters desires.
I can remember when I changed my mind though - when spending the night with my friend who had curly red hair and watching her scream as her mother tried to comb through it....
Isn't it wonderful that our children have so many friends from so many different racial and thnic groups that they want more?
I think it is.
L. G
