Binky Withdraws

M.,

Since first answering I have changed my mind on the message that a child receives from such practices.
What it says to me "When I find something that gives me comfort it won't last". Is that the message you are wishing to give?

With my whole heart,
C., Owner of Loving Connections LLC.

What is Loving Connections? Sharing my whole heart.

I went through it with 2 of my kids. It seems like it goes on forever, and then all of a sudden you are looking at pictures and saying you had your binky that long :) Anyway, something I did was take my kids to the store for a shopping spree. Nothing huge mind you. Just so that they could get themselves something special since they didn't need their binky anymore. My son gut a stuffed dog that cost $3.00 and my daughter got a blanket that cost $1.00. (course the blanket was on clearance, since she picked a soft Christmas one). At night or naptime they would ask for their binky and I would give them their special thing and told them that they were a big boy and a big girl and didn't need their binky anymore. Within a week they were fine.

It is normal, especially when he used it for comfort. Taking time to remind himself they are all gone.
You just saved yourself big time as he did this himself and most parents battle forever so consider yourself super lucky.
Empower him with praise on how proud you are and what a big boy he is now! Just let him fuss and do what you are doing, eventually he will get it and be over it. It was a habit and it is hard to rememeber it is gone.
As for bedtimes becareful you don't set him up for a new dependency of you going in. Give him all he needs before you walk out of the room, even getting him a new stuffed friend as a reward for binkies being gone! :)
Hugs, it won't last, another phase and he will learn to soothe himself.

Both of my kids cried for over a week. It was hard but over fairly quickly. I was sympathetic ("I know, I know it's hard but you are so big now") but firm.
(Sorry for the judgmental comments you got. Giving up the binky at 2.5 is so normal and you are teaching that life goes on, there are stages and that we can find joy in this next phase).
I am certain that you do many, many things to show your child comfort that have little to do with a piece of plastic.

I really liked Marriah's idea. Find him something else he can replace the binky with. Something he won't have to have in his mouth. I wish I would have thought of that with my older three! I think they would have responded well to that. With my first, we took them all away and gave them to the "Passie Fairy" to give to the poor kids who don't have any passies so they can be happy. She responded very well to that because of her very tender personality. For my twin boys, they both ended up chewing holes in theirs we helped them discover they were broken and one by one, they were thrown away until they had no more left (I quit buying new ones). After the last one was thrown away and they went to bed without it, they would be crying and unhappy about it like your son (they were about 2 years 3 months or so) and had a rough time for about a week or two. But they both were also very attached to their blankets (two baby blankets each), and have since replaced asking for a passie with asking for their blankets. They carry those things everywhere in the house. It's a fair compromise, and now they don't even remember they ever had a passie (about 4-5 months later). Anyway. I guess I'm just saying that it really shouldn't last long. However, when my boys were closer to two, we tried taking the binky away. We ended up giving it back, though because one of them started sucking on his hand or fingers for comfort when he was upset. I decided I'd rather have him suck on the binky that hadn't been touching just about everything all day. A few months later we tried it again. He wasn't ready the first time, but the second time went much more smoothly. So just keep that in mind, too. At 2 1/2, he's probably fine and doesn't really need it anymore. Just keep on truckin' and if it's still happening in a few weeks, you know something is not working. Good luck!

I don't have an answer as we ourselves are trying to come up with the best way to help our almost two year old give up her binky. Just wanted to say thank you for posting this.

Your question and the responses did two things;
1. Helped me remember that I am not the first frazzled mom of a toddler to go through this. :0)
2. Gave me some ideas...I really liked the idea of going shopping for an new "special" thing.

Hang in there...this too shall pass...hopefully sooner rather than later.

Thanks again,
L.

We just did it in November with our 2.5 year old. (with slightly more prompting from mom and dad ;o) )

We had a very rough week. Only 3 really tough days total, but they were spread out over about a 7 day period. I thought it would never end. It was very hard going on little sleep. After that, everything has gone very smoothly though. He never mentions it and goes to sleep easily.

It will be rough for a couple of days, but then it will be over! Hang in there! :o)

Hi M. - sounds like your binky-weaning method worked pretty well to me! My first LOVED his binky. As he lost them, we just told him that when the last one got lost, then binky's were all gone. He handled it pretty well but bedtime was the worst for him too. It was always binky-blanky and he had to learn a new way. I just tried to comfort him and hold him to help work it out. It was like he was going through the grief cycle. I know that seems weird but first it was denial, then anger, bargaining (can't we buy a new one?)and then finally acceptance. As I held him, I would kind of put words in his mouth to help him work through the emotions. "I know it's hard. You feel sad, I know. It's okay to be mad about binky being gone. Bedtime is okay without binky" - that kind of thing. All kids are different but it took about a week of having to hold and comfort my son at bedtimes to help him work through it. I hope that helps you!

Hi, M.. Well, my advice may be of least consideration regarding this issue because I avoided this scenario by never introducing "binky" to my daughter. My neice went through serious binky withdrawal including screaming and fall-out tantrums which were followed by mad searches through drawers and cabinets and that was all the lesson I needed-when my daughter arrived 4 years later, I remembered and avoided "binky",lol.

If he is not crying for the binky, then the obvious question is why is he crying? Crying is just a "symptom", what is the real "sore". Once you know the answer to that question, you will be able to implement strategies to relieve him of whatever it is that drives him to tears. If in fact it is the binky or lack of the binky, I wouldn't return it, 2.5 years is probably well past time for him to ditch binky, broken or not, right?

If you don't mind incentive-based behavior training, including frequent preparatory conversations regarding the upcoming bed time, perhaps you can offer him to do something special and fun in the event he lays down and naps quietly. For example, remind him early and often about the pending nap hour or bedtime; tell him what a big boy he is and how big boys like him take their naps without a binky and without crying and when they do, their mommy's have special surprises or adventures waiting for them. At 2.5 years old, "special surprises" can be nearly anything: finger painting, putting stickers on paper, riding their trikes, "swimming" in a bubble-filled tub, etc...

Again, I didn't have the "binky" issue...mine was getting her out of my bed! Maybe this will help get your creative juices flowing. P.S. I am pleased to announce that my neice is now 12 and doing just great! Hasn't mentioned "binky" in at leat 10 years ;-)

Good Luck!

Hang in there, it will get better! We had to take my son's away because it was affecting his teeth--(pushing them out). It is so hard, but it will get better. My son protested for about a week, but then only asked for it occassionally after a week. He has a blanket with fringe and he began playing with the fringe for comfort. So if there is something else that he likes, that might help. Also, I realized how tactile my son is and how he needed the oral stimulation. We gave him tiny pieces of gum (like tiny, tiny bits off a stick so he wouldn't choke, dr. said it was okay) and he learned to chew gum during the day. Fruit strips or snacks or something that gives a little extra oral stimulation helps too. He seemed to do better at night if he had the oral stimulation during the day. Maybe that would help. Hang in there!